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How to Deal With a Partner Who Has Wandering Eyes

Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. 

Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.

Signs of a Wandering Eye

Differing viewpoints.

• Impact of Social Media
• Have You Crossed a Line?

How to Respond

When a person has a 'wandering eye,' it means looking and having sexual thoughts about people other than their current romantic partner. It may include behaviors such as overtly evaluating and appreciating someone's physical attractiveness or even outright flirting with people who are not their romantic partners.

When the issue of a partner's eyes wandering is discussed, there seem to be two general responses: Either the behavior is brushed off as nothing to be concerned about or feelings of hurt and disrespect ensue, which may harm the relationship .

Some even believe checking out people other than a committed partner is a sure sign of infidelity, or at least a form of micro-cheating . The true answer to whether or not this is OK lies with you, your needs, and your personal boundaries .

It is important to recognize that each person has differing definitions depending on their beliefs and boundaries. Some examples of behaviors that characterize a wandering eye include:

• Blatantly checking out another person
• Flirting with other people
• Having sexual fantasies about others
• Talking about sexual fantasies about other people
• Telling other people they are attractive
• Planning romantic or sexual encounters with people other than their partner
• Texting or DMing people other than their partner

The behaviors that characterize a wandering eye involve how a person thinks about or communicates with people other than their partner. If these thoughts or actions lead to romantic or sexual encounters, it would be defined as cheating .

According to  Gail Saltz, M.D ., a psychiatrist and expert on relationship matters, blatantly checking out, commenting on, repeatedly admiring, and flirting or touching someone else usually feels quite undermining to a partner.

For partners that are bothered by the behavior, having wandering eyes is often described as:

• A sign of disrespect
• Damaging to a relationship
• Insensitive behavior that shows a lack of caring
• One of the first signs of cheating and that a person is looking for another relationship

Dr. Saltz acknowledges that all humans have some measure of voyeurism and exhibitionism: we like to look and we like to show.

But unless both parties are confident of the others' affection and fidelity, an obvious and frequent wandering eye will generally stir up envy and hurt, making one feel unappreciated and even threatened in the relationship.

On the other hand, some people believe that having a wandering eye is perfectly normal behavior. People in this camp often don't worry about a quick glance, and some may not even be bothered by something more.

Those who feel this way often cite the following points:

• Looking at an attractive person is thought to be a natural physiological reaction.
• A person with wandering eyes just appreciates beauty.

Again, it's important to remember that you define what is normal and acceptable for yourself and your relationship. That said, a study published in the  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that a consistent wandering eye probably signals a more significant issue in a relationship, which is worth considering.

Some evidence suggests that people prone to having a wandering eye are also more likely to engage in infidelity. One study found that people who found attractive people more attention-grabbing were more likely to eventually cheat on their partners.

Impact of Social Media and Technology

People don't just engage in 'wandering' behaviors in real-world encounters. They can also make their way into online interactions. In such settings, 'wandering' might involve:

• Flirting with another person, either in the comments section on their social media post or via direct message
• "Liking" another person's photos to communicate interest
• Flirtatious, romantic, or sexual texting with people who are not the person's partner
• Intentionally joining social sites in order to engage in flirtatious communication with others

Such behaviors can affect trust, communication, and intimacy in a relationship. According to one survey, around a quarter of people in relationships feel that technology has had a negative impact on their relationships.

Have You or Your Partner Crossed the Line

It isn't always easy to determine if you or your partner have crossed a boundary in your relationship. This is because it is normal to think that other people are attractive and doing so doesn't necessarily mean that you've broken trust with your partner.

In order to recognize whether you or your partner have a wandering eye, consider the following:

• How would your partner feel if they knew about your behaviors?
• How would it make you feel if your partner was doing the same thing?
• Have you ever discussed boundaries with your partner?
• Does your current behavior violate your partner's trust?
• Are you hiding your behavior from your partner?

If you feel like your partner would be hurt or upset and need to hide your actions from them, it is a good sign that your actions are crossing the line. 

If you are bothered by your partner's eyes wandering, Dr. Saltz suggests that you make it clear that although you don't expect them to wear blinders, you don't want them to ogle someone else.

If your partner really won't make any effort to change and doesn't appear to care how it makes you feel, it's likely that other issues may be affecting your relationship that couple's therapy could help examine.

Indeed, it seems that research agrees with this advice. The aforementioned study goes on to say that nagging your partner to stop looking likely won't address any underlying problems, either. Your relationship will require communication and a strategy to boost satisfaction and commitment.

Leading with jealousy and sweeping requests for your partner to change his or her behavior may lead them to tune you out. Instead, Dr. Saltz suggests the following:

• Accept that your partner's wandering eye is not a reflection of your own attractiveness.
• Don't try to "police" your partner's wandering eyes.
• If your partner's wandering eye creates a problem in your relationship, discuss the issue with them. Start with your own feelings, not with an accusation or criticism. 
• Suggest couple's therapy or attend therapy on your own if your requests are continually ignored.
• Try to casually acknowledge it first when a beautiful person comes into view.

A Word From Verywell

A wandering eye could very well be a natural, simple acknowledgment of attractive people—nothing more. Of course, that may not be the case all the time. Regardless, your feelings should be valid to your partner. If it bothers you and you have calmly expressed as such to your partner, he or she should be receptive to your concerns.

DeWall, CN, Maner, JK, Deckman, T, Rouby, DA. Forbidden fruit: inattention to attractive alternatives provokes implicit relationship reactance . J Pers Soc Psychol . 2011;100(4), 621–629. doi:10.1037/a0021749

McNulty JK, Meltzer AL, Makhanova A, Maner JK. Attentional and evaluative biases help people maintain relationships by avoiding infidelity .  J Pers Soc Psychol . 2018;115(1):76-95. doi:10.1037/pspi0000127

Pew Research Center. Couples, the internet, and social media .

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. About marriage and family therapists .

Dewall CN, Maner JK, Deckman T, Rouby DA. Forbidden fruit: Inattention to attractive alternatives provokes implicit relationship reactance .  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . 2011;100(4):621-629. doi:10.1037/a0021749

By Sheri Stritof Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20+ years. She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. 

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How to Deal With a Partner Who Has Wandering Eyes

Jenni Jacobsen is a licensed social worker with a master's degree in social work from The Ohio State University, and she is in the process of completing her dissertation... Read more

In This Article

Dealing with a partner who has a wandering eye can be difficult. You may worry that they are not that interested in you or that they may leave the relationship for someone else.

There are ways to cope with men with roaming eyes, so you can determine if the relationship can be saved. It can also be helpful to understand this is a problem and when it is not.

Each situation is different, but in many cases, it may just be a natural reaction to beauty, and you and your partner should be able to understand the situation.

What does it mean to have a wandering eye?

Before you determine whether your partner’s roaming eye may be a problem, it is helpful to understand what is a wandering eye.

The number one indicator that someone has a roaming eye is that they can be seen checking out other people. Essentially, they will notice other attractive people and look their way.

Roaming eyes do not always have to occur in person. As such, people may also follow attractive people on social media.

Whether it occurs in person or on the Internet, a simple way to explain the wandering eye meaning is that it involves your partner noticing people who are physically attractive .

What causes a wandering eye in a relationship?

If you are dealing with such a person, you may be asking yourself what causes this behavior.

Having a wandering eye is simply a natural reaction to seeing attractive people. When it is only a quick glance in the direction of a particularly attractive person, a roaming eye can just signify a normal appreciation of beauty.

Psychologists have even spent time researching the underlying causes, and they have concluded that when something catches our attention as humans, we unintentionally look in its direction.

Simply put, we are easily distracted, and looking at an attractive person is a natural reaction to something distracting in the environment.

That being said, it is not always a problem. It can simply be your partner’s gut reaction to beauty and nothing more.

On the other hand, if your partner is openly ogling other people or going so far as to comment on their appearance or flirt with them, this case may be a red flag that signals deeper issues.

Signs your partner has a wandering eye

Now that you know what it means and what causes it, it can be helpful to know the signs of a roaming eye. Three signs to look for in your relationship include:

• On more than one occasion, you have caught your partner looking up and down at an attractive person in public.
• Your partner follows attractive people on social media, such as fitness models or women who pose in bikinis or skimpy clothing.
• Your partner may glance at a woman walking by but then return his attention to you.

Some of the above signs are a natural reaction to seeing someone attractive and may not signal a problem.

Some more obvious and hurtful signs your partner has a wandering eye are as follows:

• Your partner openly admires other people when with you and appears to look at them longingly.
• Your partner approaches attractive people and flirts with them in your presence.
• Your significant other appears to gaze intently at other people and makes comments about their appearance, such as how nice their bodies are.

Does having a wandering eye mean your partner is cheating?

Roaming eyes can be a source of concern in some relationships, and whether it signals cheating depends on the situation. As previously stated, it is often a natural reaction for people to glance in the direction of an attractive person.

You may even find that you tend to look in the direction of members of the same sex who happen to be beautiful. You are simply noticing and appreciating beauty, which is human nature.

When it is a quick glance and nothing more, it is probably nothing to worry about and likely does not mean your significant other is cheating. We cannot expect our partners to wear blinders and avoid acknowledging other people.

If your partner notices people of the opposite sex but quickly turns attention back to you, this behavior is usually totally acceptable.

On the other hand, there are cases where it can be indicative of a larger problem. In fact, people who view others as attractive are more likely to stray in their relationships. That being said, having a wandering eye is not the only indication that someone is at risk of cheating .

Other factors, including being dissatisfied with the relationship, are linked to cheating. Furthermore, the link between cheating and a roaming eye is seen among people who have difficulty looking away from attractive people.

What all of this means is that quick glances that occur in reaction to an attractive person do not typically mean your partner is cheating.

On the other hand, when a roaming eye becomes excessive, and it seems like your partner cannot help himself but continue to gawk, something more may be going on here, especially if he openly flirts with or talks about how hot other people are.

5 signs your partner’s wandering eye may be cheating

If you are worried your partner’s problem may mean that he is cheating, there are some telltale signs to be aware of that might confirm your suspicions. Here are five to consider:

1. Their habits with technology have changed

If your partner is suddenly hooked on the phone and seems to be scrolling through Facebook and responding to texts and emails at all hours, the roaming eye may have turned into cheating, and he is using the phone to connect with a person who caught his eye more than once.

2. Your partner is suddenly highly critical of you

If your partner seems to find something wrong with everything you do , it may be that the honeymoon stage of the relationship has passed, and they are too immature to handle your quirks.

Instead of working through this with you, they may have turned to someone else.

3. There has been a change in your sexual relationship

If a roaming eye has led your partner astray, you may find that your sexual relationship changes . In some cases, your partner may stop having sex with you because he feels guilty.

On the other hand, adding new habits to the bedroom could mean he has learned new tricks outside of the relationship.

While there can be other reasons for changes to your sex life, when these changes are sudden and are paired with a roaming eye and other signs of cheating, it can be cause for suspicion.

4. Emotional intimacy has shut down as well

Physical intimacy is not the only form of closeness needed in a successful relationship.

If you find that you and your partner are no longer communicating or connecting, or they seem to be distant and unwilling to have personal conversations or discussions about the future with you, the issue may have turned into an affair.

5. Your partner is changing their style or way of dressing

When your significant other has a roaming eye and has suddenly started dressing up or trying out a new style, they may have found a new mate who has caught their attention. Dramatic shifts in style can be a sign that they are trying to impress someone else.

If the situation has been excessive and they are displaying one or more of the above signs, it may be time to consider the possibility of cheating.

How to deal with a partner who has wandering eyes

Men with wandering eyes can be frustrating, but the answer to how to fix a wandering eye depends upon the situation. If it is harmless, you may not necessarily need to stop the situation but rather change the way you look at it.

For example, if your significant other occasionally glances in the direction of an attractive person but returns his attention to you and shows no signs of cheating, this may be an innocent, natural response.

Here are the ways for dealing with someone with a wandering eye when the situation is harmless:

1. Accept it for what it is

Recognize that acknowledging someone else as being attractive is normal and does not mean your partner doesn’t love or respect you . If it’s just a quick glance, it is part of human nature.

2. Have some confidence about it

Your gut reaction may be to feel that your partner does not find you attractive if they have the issue, but remember that they have chosen to be with you, out of all the beautiful people in the world.

While his natural reaction may be to glance in the direction of an attractive woman, they still choose to stay with you. Showing confidence in this fact will make you appear even more attractive to him.

3. Take time to recognize your own good qualities

We all want to be loved and desired by our partners, so when we catch them looking at someone else, it may make us feel less than. Try not to think this way, and instead, remember your own good qualities. It takes more than just physical attractiveness to have a successful relationship.

You and your partner have a connection that runs ways deeper than a momentary glance. You have built a life together and have interests in common, and your partner probably values your personality and the spiritual connection the two of you have.

Given all of this, a quick glance in someone else’s direction typically does not undermine all that your partner values about you.

In the video below, Andrea Crump talks about how the roaming eyes of a person can cause insecurities in their partner. She provides tips to handle it. Take a look:

4. Confront your partner

If you have considered the above, and your partner’s issue still makes you uncomfortable, it may be time to have a conversation.

For example, if your partner spends so much time checking out others when you two are together that you feel you do not have his attention, it may be time to have an honest conversation about the fact that it bothers you. Be careful not to be too harsh or critical.

You may start the conversation by saying, “You may not even notice that you are doing this, but when we are together, you sometimes spend so much time staring at other girls that I feel like you do not even notice me.”

5. Play along

Another way to fix a wandering eye is to play along with your partner.

For instance, if you see him looking another woman up and down, you may comment, “She has a great smile, doesn’t she?”

Maybe your partner didn’t even realize he was spending so much time noticeably admiring others, and this method will draw his attention to it so that he is more mindful of it in the future.

If your partner’s issue is making you uncomfortable and they continue to make no effort to change their behavior, there may be something more going on, especially if there are other red flags, such as emotional distance between the two of you.

It may be time to have a heartfelt conversation about the status of the relationship.

Perhaps your partner isn’t getting what they need from you, and instead of doing the right thing and addressing it, they are wondering what it might be like to be with someone else. In this case, it has become a bigger problem.

If you find that you have to nag your partner to stop staring at others, it may be time to seek professional intervention, such as couple’s therapy, to determine if there are underlying issues that can be resolved.

3 tips for how to fix a wandering eye

If it has become a big enough problem that it requires fixing to keep you happy in the relationship, there are some tips that can make the process easier for you. When having a conversation about your partner’s problem, consider the following advice:

1. Avoid making dramatic requests

You cannot expect your partner to never look at other people, and making huge requests, such as telling him he cannot be around other women, is likely to result in him tuning you out.

Instead, you might calmly state that you would prefer he not spend time openly ogling other people when you are together.

2. State your own feelings without being harsh or critical

Remember that sometimes, it is just a natural, innocent reaction to beauty. Instead of criticizing your partner by calling names or suggesting that they have selfish or malicious motives, use “I” statements and focus on how you feel.

3. Acknowledge that you know the behavior can be totally normal

Your partner’s defenses will be heightened if you have unreasonable expectations, so it can be helpful to begin the conversation by acknowledging that you know it is only natural for beautiful women to catch their attention.

This shows him that you are not asking him to go against his nature but rather to be more mindful of his behavior to not come across as disrespectful to you.

In a healthy, secure relationship, you should be able to have a heartfelt conversation about your partner’s problem if it has become a problem for you.

If the conversation doesn’t go well, it may be time to dive deeper into your relationship issues through additional conversation or professional intervention .

How to deal with such a partner can certainly depend upon the situation. We are all drawn to attractive people, and in many cases, it can just be human nature. When we see someone beautiful, we are inclined to look in their direction. Chances are, you may even have an innocent wandering eye yourself from time-to-time.

When your partner glances at others in public or on social media, it is probably nothing to worry about. The world is full of attractive people, and someone else’s beauty does not take away from your own.

If your partner remains committed to you, meets your needs, and seems happy with you, you can be confident in the fact that he has chosen you among all the beautiful people in the world.

Remember, it is a momentary acknowledgment of someone else’s attractiveness in many cases, but your partner spends many more moments with you.

On the other hand, if it becomes a problem, you may notice that your partner is openly ogling other women, commenting on their beauty, or even flirting while in a relationship.

If this is the case, an honest conversation about your feelings may resolve the issue. Perhaps your partner was unaware of the behavior or its effect on you. If it continues to be a problem, it could be signs of relationship trouble, especially if other red flags are involved.

You have every right to discuss this with your partner or to request couples counseling if you have ongoing troubles in your relationship.

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Jenni Jacobsen is a licensed social worker with a master's degree in social work from The Ohio State University, and she is in the process of completing her dissertation for a Doctorate of Philosophy in Psychology. She has worked in the social work field for 8 years and is currently a professor at Mount Read more Vernon Nazarene University. She writes website content about mental health, addiction, and fitness. Licensed as both a social worker through Ohio Board of Counselors, Social Workers, and Marriage/Family Therapists and school social worker through Ohio Department of Education as well as a personal trainer through American Council on Exercise. Read less

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20 Tips To Dealing With Your Partner’s Wandering Eyes

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It doesn’t feel good when your partner looks at other attractive people right in front of you.

This is what having a wandering eye basically means, but is it acceptable in a relationship? Could it even be considered cheating?

First of all, you are allowed to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. You’re not crazy to want your partner to only have eyes for you.

That being said, wandering eyes sometimes simply represent the natural acknowledgment of beauty. Noticing that another person is attractive doesn’t necessarily mean that you intend to cheat on your partner with that or any other person.

So why does it feel like cheating then?

Is it cheating if your partner checks out other people while they’re with you? Well, much like flirting, it depends on what exactly happens and the intention behind it.

When your partner gazes at an attractive person for a second and then quickly looks away, it can be even flattering. They have noticed that the other person is attractive, but they don’t want you to think that they would be into them, so they avoid staring at them.

On the other hand, when your partner consciously checks out another person from head to toe and keeps gazing at them in front of you, knowing that it bothers you, they might not be cheating, but there’s something very wrong.

Does it bother you, and do they care? This question is much more important than whether or not wandering eyes can be considered cheating. While wandering eyes are definitely not a sign that your partner is being unfaithful—at least not without other signs to indicate the same—it’s definitely disrespectful if they know that it bothers you.

In other words, they might not be technically crossing the line, but if they are breaking your personal boundary, it’s just as important to address it. Here’s how:

Speak to a certified relationship counselor about this issue. Why? Because they have the training and experience to help you approach your partner’s wandering eyes in the most appropriate way. You may want to try speaking to someone via RelationshipHero.com for practical advice that is tailored to your exact circumstances.

1. Don’t let it harm your self-esteem.

Your partner’s eyes would probably wander even if they were in a relationship with a supermodel. So, don’t think that this has anything to do with how attractive you are, to them or to anyone else. Try not to let it harm your self-esteem.

Even if your partner simply notices that some people are especially attractive, the problem is that, by doing that in front of you, they force you to notice these people too. So, you compare yourself to them, and it’s perfectly normal to feel self-conscious and jealous when that happens. Your self-esteem could take a big hit because of all this, so remind yourself of all your positive qualities.

Your partner is looking at these people, but they are choosing to be with you. Obviously, they are attracted to you, otherwise they wouldn’t be with you. So, don’t assume that you’re less attractive than the people they look at.

If your partner’s behavior is still harming your self-esteem, you’ll need to let them know about it. And they should respect you enough to restrain themselves from staring at other people in your presence.

It’s not the same thing when someone catches your partner’s eye for a second and when their eyes linger. They can’t prevent the first one, but they can control the second one. So, if it’s harming your self-esteem, they should care enough to try to control themselves.

2. Consider whether it could be entirely innocent.

While you do have the right to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, consider whether you’re being rational or if you’re letting your insecurities get the best of you. A single look could hold a lot of meaning, but it also doesn’t have to mean anything.

How does your partner look at these people? They might simply be noticing that others are attractive without even imagining being with them. Would you notice if someone of your preferred gender suddenly walked in looking like a movie star? There’s nothing wrong with that.

However, if you were with your partner at the moment, you would probably try to hide the fact that you might be attracted to someone else. You wouldn’t make it obvious or even flirt with this person. If your partner simply notices beautiful people, there’s no need to panic because it’s completely innocent.

Even flirting can be innocent. However, when they are openly doing these things in front of you, it might mean that they don’t respect you or aren’t afraid of losing you. That might be innocent in terms of cheating, but it’s definitely not innocent in terms of relationship problems.

3. Consider how long it lasts.

Does your partner look away quickly, or do their eyes linger? Do they look at the person long enough that they’re more than just appreciating their beauty? Are they noticing attractive people when they show up or searching for them across the room?

Does it end with gazing for a while, or do they approach the person and even flirt with them? Do they look once, or do they keep looking at the person every now and then as if they’re trying to make eye contact or are thinking about approaching them?

Considering how long it lasts also means that you should think about whether your partner has always been doing this. Or has it started only recently? Maybe they only had eyes for you before, but lately you’ve been having relationship problems, and their eyes have started searching for a new potential partner.

On the other hand, maybe they always had wandering eyes because they see nothing wrong with what they’re doing. As you can see, a lot depends on your exact circumstances, so try to think about everything and be as objective as possible.

4. Think about your definition of cheating.

Everyone is allowed to have their own definition of what is and isn’t cheating, but, in a relationship, you should agree on the same definition. This doesn’t always happen, and it can be difficult to draw the line.

For instance, flirting might be entirely innocent and even subconscious with no intention of letting it lead to anything more. On the other hand, your partner might flirt with someone with the intention to cheat. Even hugging, which is generally not even close to cheating, can be considered as betraying your partner if it’s a long, romantic hug.

The point is, while some things aren’t generally considered cheating, there are situations when they can be a sign of infidelity. At the very least, you can object to your partner doing them. So, consider your definition of cheating.

If you feel like your partner is betraying you by having wandering eyes, that’s okay, you have a right to feel that way. You are the one who decides what’s acceptable and what’s unacceptable in your relationship, but your partner has to understand it too.

5. Look for signs of infidelity.

Wandering eyes aren’t indicative of cheating unless there are more signs. So, if you are worried that your partner is being unfaithful or is thinking about cheating, look for signs of infidelity.

Do they hide their phone from you? Are they secretive about where they’ve been and who they’ve been with? Have you caught them lying to you about where they’ve been and who they’ve been with? Are they already having an emotional affair that you know about? Do they look at any attractive people or someone in particular? Answering these questions will help you find out whether they’re cheating on you or not.

If your partner doesn’t show any signs of infidelity other than wandering eyes, don’t exaggerate the problem. It might still be an issue and/or indicate other problems, but don’t worry about your partner being unfaithful if they have given you no other reason to doubt them.

On the other hand, if they are cheating on you, or thinking about it, you should be able to tell by more than just their wandering eyes.

6. Consider how you see it.

From your partner’s point of view, it’s possible that nothing really happened. They talked to you, they noticed a beautiful person walk by, they talked to you again, and then they went on with their life and forgot all about the beautiful person. They still remember you though, so, what’s the big deal?

It’s always best to consider things from different perspectives. What happened from your point of view? Your partner disrespected you by openly checking out another person of their preferred gender and made you feel bad about yourself. Is that what happened? You are free to have your version!

If you are not sure that you have the right to your version of what happened, consider how it would look from the outside. What would some stranger who was watching you think? They’d notice that you’re a couple and that your partner notices other attractive people. Perhaps they’d assume that your partner’s not entirely committed and loyal to you, or perhaps they wouldn’t think anything of it. How you see it matters.

7. Consider how often it happens.

Can you live with your partner’s wandering eyes? How often do they look at other people? Does it happen every time someone wears something revealing or do they only notice extremely beautiful people? Do they constantly check out other people, or do they only occasionally notice someone attractive? Considering how often it happens could help you decide whether you can live with it if it doesn’t stop.

Be aware that, occasionally, everyone notices other attractive people even if they’re in a happy, committed relationship. It’s human. However, most people will try to restrain themselves from doing this in front of their partner not to hurt them.

If your partner occasionally slips up and checks out someone, that might not be such a big issue. However, if you’ve told them how it makes you feel and they often do it regardless of that, they are not treating you properly.

8. Check if others have noticed it too.

Have other people also noticed that your partner has wandering eyes? Talk to your friends and ask them about it. It’s important that you see all of this objectively. For that, you’ll need other people’s input too. Feel free to also ask for their opinion on that. Try to use their insights to see things as objectively as possible.

Different people will see this issue differently and they would all agree that it comes down to whether you find it acceptable or not. Either is fine, but it’s important that you are okay.

Others might also help you determine whether your partner is cheating on you or not. They can help you realize if you’re exaggerating things. Maybe you are insecure, and you noticed your partner looking at someone else once or twice. You got it in your head that they’re unfaithful while they might not have given it any thought at all. That too is possible, so talk to your loved ones and let them help you figure out which one it is.

9. Decide on where the line is for you.

Setting boundaries is important in a healthy relationship. Have you told your partner that it bothers you when they look at other people? Maybe you know that it’s probably nothing to worry about, so you don’t want to bring it up. However, if it eats you up inside and you’re upset over it, don’t keep it in. What does commitment and being loyal mean to you?

If you are crazy about your partner and only have eyes for them, it’s natural to be bothered when they check out other people in your presence.  

The two of you need to agree on your definition of fidelity. Maybe your partner doesn’t consider it cheating if they think about being with someone else as long as they don’t do anything about it. Or, they think flirting is fine as long as you don’t sleep with the person.

Maybe they only consider sex as cheating, while kissing doesn’t matter that much. Anything is possible, so you need to talk to your partner about your definitions of fidelity and cheating if you haven’t done that already.

10. Tell them how it makes you feel without forbidding them anything.

Does this behavior bother you? Is your partner aware of it? This is the most important question. Don’t assume that they know if you haven’t told them. Don’t nag them about it or forbid them from doing it. Don’t accuse or criticize them. Simply talk about how it makes you feel.

Talk about your point of view and your feelings. Let them know that you understand that it’s natural to notice beautiful people but that it makes you feel ugly when they do it in front of you. There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with what they’re doing for it to hurt you and for them to avoid it because it upsets you.

At the very least, once you’ve had this conversation, you’ll know that they’re aware that it bothers you. Will they understand your point of view though? Will they care?

11. See if they understand your point of view and care about it.

Your partner might accuse you of being jealous and overreacting. They might not acknowledge the issue at all. They may not see anything wrong with what they’re doing.

In the end, they might not care about your point of view and your feelings. If this is the case, you have a bigger problem than their wandering eyes. They should at least hear you out and try to understand your point of view.

If you can’t communicate well with your partner, this will keep causing you problems or make problems harder to resolve.

It’s really not that difficult to understand your point of view, especially if you don’t really notice other attractive people yourself. While your partner’s behavior might be entirely innocent, they should be able to understand how it can seem disrespectful at the very least.

12. Find out whether they know it’s wrong.

Do they see something wrong with having wandering eyes? Maybe they’ve always been like this, and it’s a part of how they were raised. If this is the case, it might make sense why they can’t understand your point of view.

Maybe they consider this as normal behavior, and they might really think that you’re just overly jealous. Are they otherwise loyal and respectful? If so, you might have to learn to live with wandering eyes.

Consider your entire relationship before freaking out about your partner looking at someone else. If they otherwise treat you well, show you love and respect, and make you happy, and you know that they’re not cheating on you, maybe you can find a way to accept that looking at others is not such a big deal.

Maybe you could let it slide. In fact, maybe there really isn’t anything wrong with what they’re doing. On the other hand, if they are unfaithful or disrespectful, wandering eyes are just a small issue that indicates that.

13. See whether they’ll try to restrain themselves from doing it.

When your partner knows that something bothers you, they should try to restrain themselves from doing it, even if they don’t understand your point of view. So, see whether your partner will act differently after you’ve told them about how it makes you feel.

Maybe they’ll still notice a beautiful person, but now they’ll quickly look away when they do instead of checking the person out from head to toe. It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely something. It shows that your partner is trying to be considerate of your feelings and doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s a great sign!

If your partner doesn’t change their behavior and just keeps openly checking out other people in front of you, try talking to them again. Maybe they don’t understand that it’s hurting you or that there’s something wrong with it. It’s either that or there are other problems in your relationship. Your partner might not respect you, or they’re taking you for granted.

14. Consider whether there are underlying issues in your relationship.

Are there other problems in your relationship other than or related to wandering eyes? Maybe there’s something else that requires your focus much more than wandering eyes, especially if your partner only recently started looking at other attractive people. If the two of you have been unhappy in the relationship, your partner may be looking for a way out of it, even if unconsciously.

Don’t sweep your problems under the rug. Talk about them, and if you’re having trouble communicating efficiently, get the help of a therapist. If your partner is disrespectful toward you in general, that’s also something that you can work on during couples counseling.

15. Consider whether your partner respects you.

By now, you already know that your partner’s behavior can be interpreted as a sign of disrespect. So, is your partner otherwise respectful? Do they value your opinions and want to hear your thoughts? Do they turn to you for advice? Do they treat you properly? Do they respect your choices and boundaries?

Or, does your partner put you down and make you feel bad about yourself?

If your partner doesn’t respect you, it will be difficult to have a healthy relationship. Maybe they love you, but they also need to be respectful, and if they can’t do that, their love probably isn’t going to be enough to make things work between you.

Set healthy boundaries and demand respect from your partner. Speak up when they try to put you down or disrespect your boundaries.

16. Consider whether your partner takes you for granted.

Maybe your partner’s behavior isn’t disrespectful, but they act that way because they assume you’d never leave them no matter what they do.

It’s possible that your partner takes you for granted and thinks that they can do whatever they want because you’ll still love them. If you haven’t set boundaries from the beginning of the relationship, it might have been this way from the very start.

Does your partner think that they could never lose you? If so, you might want to remind them that it is definitely possible if they treat you badly. Make them realize that you are going to walk away if they push your boundaries.

Don’t let things slide all the time, learn to say “no,” stick to your boundaries, and don’t tolerate disrespect. Make them take you seriously.

17. Start acknowledging beautiful people.

You could start acknowledging beautiful people before they do. Mention that a person looks hot before they get the chance to notice them. Look at attractive people of your preferred gender just like they do. If there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing, you’re allowed to do it too.

This may help you understand them better. Who knows, maybe you’d be fine with commenting on people together and checking out attractive people as they pass by. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. See what works best for you.

Try doing the same as your partner, and even beat them to it. If there’s nothing wrong with it, it won’t feel awkward when you join them. If they do feel awkward about it, it might make them stop doing it. But, hey, maybe you’d be fine with the whole thing!

18. Consider whether you could be okay with it.

Could you just accept that your partner has wandering eyes? If they’re otherwise loving, respectful, and loyal, that might not be such a big deal.

Even if they’re not, you might not care so much about them looking at other people, you just don’t want them to cheat on you. Are there any other signs of infidelity? If not, they’re not cheating on you, so let them look.

Does it still make you feel bad though? Trust your instincts and do what your heart tells you. If you can be okay with your partner checking out other people, accept them the way they are. If you can’t live with it and they’re not changing after you’ve talked to them several times, consider leaving the relationship.

19. Consider ending the relationship.

Wandering eyes aren’t something that you end a relationship over, but what if it’s just the tip of the iceberg? What if you’re generally unhappy with how your partner treats you, and they are unlikely to change? If that is so, consider ending the relationship.

You don’t have to wait for your partner to cheat on you to have a good enough reason to end things with them. If you can’t trust them, that’s a serious issue, even if they gave you no reason to doubt them. You can’t be with someone you can’t trust, even if it’s because of your own trust issues.

So, if you and your partner don’t want to try couples therapy to sort out your problems, consider going your separate ways. If you want someone who only has eyes for you, you can find that person. Not everyone has wandering eyes, and it’s okay not to find that acceptable.

20. Try couples therapy.

Whether this is the only problem in your relationship or there are more of them, a therapist can help. As long as you’re both willing to put in the work, your relationship stands a chance. So, don’t give up if you want to stay together. Talk to someone who can help you get back on track and resolve your issues.

You can talk to a therapist even without your partner. They can help you with the right advice for your specific situation. While this article can give you some clarity, tailored advice will differ depending on the specifics of your situation.

As you’ve already learned, there are many reasons why a person in a committed relationship might have wandering eyes. If this behavior is causing problems between you and your partner, you can work to find solutions. So talk to someone who will listen to your whole story and give you tailored advice.

Relationship Hero is a website where you can connect with a relationship counselor via phone, video, or instant message.

While you can try to work through this situation yourself or as a couple, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can fix. And if it is affecting your relationship and mental well-being, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.

Too many people – both couples and individuals – try to muddle through and do their best to solve problems that they never really get to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, speaking to a relationship expert is 100% the best way forward.

Click here if you’d like to learn more about the service Relationship Hero provide and the process of getting started.

You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to an expert. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours.

You may also like:

• “I Don’t Feel Attractive To My Partner” – 18 Things You Can Do
• What To Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings
• 11 Steps To Writing A Letter To Your Boyfriend Expressing Hurt Feelings
• How To Stop Objectifying Women (As Told By A Woman)

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About The Author

Ana Vakos enjoys writing about love and all the problems that come with it. Everyone has experiences with love, and everyone needs dating advice, so giving these topics more attention and spreading the word means a lot to her.

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wandering eye

Definition of wandering eye

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“Wandering eye.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wandering%20eye. Accessed 15 Apr. 2024.

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Partner Who Has Wandering Eyes: Understanding And Dealing With The Behavior

A partner with wandering eyes consistently looks at and has sexual thoughts about others outside the current relationship. It can be a red flag, indicating a lack of emotional commitment. Communication and setting boundaries may help address the issue, but it’s important to evaluate if it’s a deal breaker for the relationship.

Table of Contents

In a romantic relationship, it can be disheartening and hurtful when your partner constantly gazes at other people. This behavior, known as “wandering eyes,” can undermine the trust and connection between partners. Wandering eyes refer to the habit of visually admiring or checking out other individuals, even though one is in a committed relationship.

The impact of this behavior is significant, as it can lead to feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and even emotional distance in the relationship. It can make the non-gazing partner feel unimportant or unattractive, leading to a breakdown in trust and emotional intimacy. Understanding and dealing with this behavior is crucial for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

• To fully grasp the concept of wandering eyes and its effects on relationships, it is essential to define what it means and how it differs from harmless appreciation. Choosing the right partner is crucial to understanding relationship dynamics.
• Recognizing the impact of wandering eyes on relationships is the first step in addressing this behavior. Exploring the qualities of lasting relationships can provide insights into building a strong foundation based on trust and respect.

Understanding and dealing with a partner who has wandering eyes requires open and honest communication, setting boundaries, and nurturing a deep emotional connection. By acknowledging and addressing this behavior, couples can work together to strengthen their bond and create a loving and secure partnership.

Emotional commitment is a crucial aspect of any relationship, as it allows both partners to feel secure, loved, and valued. When a partner consistently has wandering eyes, it suggests that their focus and attention may be divided between their current partner and potential romantic interests. This behavior can create feelings of insecurity and mistrust, as it demonstrates a lack of wholehearted dedication to the relationship.

While open communication and setting boundaries can be effective ways to approach this issue, it’s important to assess whether the lack of emotional commitment is a deal breaker. Every individual and relationship is unique, and what may be acceptable to one person may not be to another. Some people may be willing to work through this challenge and find a resolution, whereas others may find it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship without the assurance of complete emotional commitment. Ultimately, it is essential to prioritize one’s own emotional well-being and make a decision that aligns with one’s values and needs.

Signs and Causes of Wandering Eyes

When it comes to relationships, we all want to feel valued and cherished by our partners. However, there are times when we may notice signs of wandering eyes in our partner, which can leave us feeling hurt and insecure.

Some common signs of wandering eyes include frequently looking at others in a flirtatious manner, making their partner aware of attractive people they come across, or openly checking out other individuals while spending time together.

The causes behind this behavior can vary. It may be a result of human nature and the natural inclination to notice beautiful people. For some, it may be harmless fun and merely an acknowledgment of attractiveness. However, for others, it can stem from a lack of respect and emotional connection within the relationship.

Regardless of the cause, it is important to address this behavior in a respectful way. Open and honest communication can help establish boundaries and foster a healthier relationship. Remember, a wandering eye doesn’t necessarily indicate infidelity, but it is essential to have a conversation to ensure both partners feel secure and valued.

Effects on the Relationship

Having a partner with wandering eyes can have a negative impact on a relationship. The constant checking out of other people can lead to trust issues, jealousy, and emotional distance.

When someone’s partner is constantly looking at others, it can create a lack of trust. The person may start to question their partner’s loyalty and faithfulness, wondering if they are being compared to others or if they are truly desired. This can create insecurity and a fear of being replaced.

Jealousy can also arise when a partner feels threatened by their significant other’s wandering eyes. Seeing their partner openly checking out other attractive individuals can make them feel inadequate or not good enough. It can create feelings of resentment and a sense of competition that can be detrimental to the relationship.

Furthermore, the emotional distance between partners can widen as a result of wandering eyes. When one person is constantly visually distracted by others, it can make their partner feel neglected or unimportant. This can lead to a lack of emotional connection and intimacy, causing the relationship to suffer.

In conclusion, having a partner with wandering eyes can cause trust issues, jealousy, and emotional distance in a relationship. It is important for both partners to address and communicate their feelings in order to overcome these challenges and maintain a healthy and fulfilling connection.

Communication and Setting Boundaries

Open communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It allows partners to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs, and creates a safe space for understanding and compromise. When it comes to setting boundaries, effective communication is crucial. By clearly expressing our limits and expectations, we ensure that our partners understand and respect our boundaries.

Setting boundaries can be challenging, but it is a necessary step in maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your partner about your boundaries. Clearly define what behaviors are acceptable and what are not. Remember, setting boundaries is not about controlling your partner, but about creating a mutually respectful and fulfilling partnership.

If you notice your partner’s wandering eyes, address the issue through communication. Express your feelings and concerns in a non-confrontational manner. Listen to their perspective and try to find a middle ground. By addressing the behavior openly and honestly, you can strengthen your connection and build trust.

Communication and setting boundaries go hand in hand in fostering a healthy relationship. By openly discussing your needs and concerns, and by respecting each other’s limits, you can create a strong foundation built on trust and understanding.

Building Trust and Strengthening the Relationship

Trust is a crucial foundation for any successful relationship. When issues related to wandering eyes arise, trust can be tested. It is important to understand that wandering eyes behavior does not necessarily indicate a lack of love or commitment. However, it can lead to feelings of insecurity and doubt. Rebuilding trust in a relationship requires open and honest communication, empathy, and a willingness to address the underlying issues.

One strategy for strengthening the bond with a partner after issues with wandering eyes is to have a heartfelt conversation. Share your feelings and concerns without blaming or accusing. Create a safe space for your partner to express their perspective as well. This open communication can help both partners reach a deeper understanding and rebuild trust.

Setting clear boundaries is another important strategy for building trust after wandering eyes behavior. Discuss what is acceptable and what makes you uncomfortable. By establishing these boundaries together, you can create a sense of security and minimize misunderstandings. It is important to remember that each relationship is unique, and boundaries may vary. Respect and honor each other’s boundaries to strengthen the trust between you.

In conclusion, building trust and strengthening the relationship after issues with wandering eyes behavior requires open communication, empathy, and setting clear boundaries. By addressing the underlying issues and working together, you can rebuild trust and create a stronger bond with your partner. Trust is the foundation that allows love and connection to flourish.

Is wandering eye a red flag?

A wandering eye in a relationship can be considered a red flag, as it often indicates a lack of commitment or respect towards one’s partner. It is important to communicate boundaries and address any concerns to maintain trust and strengthen the relationship.

Is a wandering eye a deal breaker?

Having a wandering eye, where someone looks at others with romantic interest while in a committed relationship, can be a significant concern. It may indicate potential issues like trust or commitment. While it varies for each individual, open communication and trust-building exercises can support a healthier relationship.

Why does my husband keep looking at other woman?

Your husband may be looking at other women out of curiosity, habit, or simply because he appreciates beauty. It is important to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and establish boundaries that both of you are comfortable with. Trust and mutual understanding are key in addressing this situation.

How to handle your man looking at other woman in a relationship?

If your partner frequently looks at other women, it can be helpful to communicate your feelings and concerns. Find a calm moment to have an open and honest conversation about boundaries and respect within the relationship. Seek mutual understanding and work together to find a resolution.

In conclusion, dealing with a partner who has wandering eyes can be a challenging and emotionally turbulent journey. We have explored the signs and causes of this behavior, as well as the negative impact it can have on a relationship. Communication and setting boundaries play a crucial role in addressing the issue and rebuilding trust. It is important to remember that wandering eyes are not always indicative of infidelity, but rather a natural human tendency. Through open and honest conversation, couples can work towards understanding and finding a balance that respects both partners’ needs and emotions.

While the road may not always be easy, with proper communication and a commitment to building trust, it is possible to overcome the challenges that a wandering eye brings. Remember, no relationship is without its obstacles, but it is how we navigate through them that truly defines the strength of our connection.

As we conclude this discussion on dealing with a partner who has wandering eyes, it is crucial to acknowledge the importance of self-reflection and growth. We must strive to understand our own emotions and triggers, as well as our own expectations in relationships. It is through this self-awareness that we can cultivate healthier and more fulfilling partnerships.

For more insights on maintaining healthy relationships, you can explore the topic of unrealistic expectations in relationships or learn about the concept of dependence in relationship . Remember, understanding and support are key elements in nurturing and strengthening any relationship.

Thank you for joining us on this journey, and we hope that the information provided has been meaningful and helpful. May your relationships be filled with trust, understanding, and mutual growth.

Once you're in a relationship, it's totally understandable to want your partner to think you are the hottest person on the planet. And surely, they do. But there are literally tons of attractive people your bae is going to come across on a daily basis, and although a glance or two can be harmless, it's still totally normal to be concerned you're missing the signs your partner has a wandering eye . The thing is, being in a relationship doesn't make you oblivious to other attractive people, so, is this actually something you need to be worried about?

Well, it depends. It's worth noting that looking at someone who's attractive and perhaps even engaging them in conversation is different than anything that would physically be defined as cheating. Although, the definition of "cheating" can and often does vary from relationship to relationship.

It might sound surprising, but according to a study published in the U.S. National Library Of Medicine, it only takes about 100 milliseconds of gazing for the average person to decide if someone is a potential sexual partner. That's less than a second, which is far from the obvious ogling that most people associate with a "wandering eye". I spoke with Brooklyn-based dating expert Demetrius Figueroa to figure out the common signs your partner is window shopping, and how to tell if it's harmless or leading to more risqué behavior.

"I think the earliest and most obvious sign that your partner has wandering eyes is when you catch them checking other people out," Figueroa tells Elite Daily. "The reality is that even the most faithful person in the world will notice when an attractive person enters their line of sight. It doesn’t make them more likely to cheat."

Now, if they're constantly drooling at others in your presence and it makes you feel uncomfortable, then there's nothing wrong with bringing it up. Even if it's awkward, you shouldn't have to pretend you're OK with something when you aren't. It's unrealistic to expect your partner to never check out a hottie for the entirety of your relationship, but asking them not to do it in your presence should be totally fair game.

According to Figueroa, having a "wandering eye" doesn't have to only be taken literally.

"You can have a wandering eye on social media just as easily as you could in person," says Figueroa. "If you notice a sudden surge in your partner following ridiculously attractive people [or] liking photos and comments that seem to be a bit risqué, [those are all signs] they’ve got a wandering eye."

But again, is this an actual problem? Well, Figeroa suggests looking at it in from a more pragmatic angle.

"Every cheater has a wandering eye, but that doesn’t mean that everyone who has a wandering eye is a cheater," explains Figueroa. "Tilting your head when someone attractive walks by is relatively harmless, but going out of your way to leave flirty comments on social media is not."

"You might find that your partner is starting to plan more and more events where they can interact with attractive single people when you’re not there," says Figueroa.

I'm not gonna lie, I'd be annoyed AF if my SO was going out of his way to set aside time to ogle hot people instead of just ogling me. Figueroa does note that "obvious ogling" is much more of a red-flag than "fleeting glances". That said, since there's no way to know for sure that they're going to an event just to look at hotties, pouncing on them for going places solo because there "could be hot people there" might not be the most productive way to address your concerns. Instead, it might be better to consider having a casual conversation about it.

"In the end, a wandering eye, whether it’s online or offline, is harmless on its own," says Figueroa. "A wandering eye isn’t a judgment of your attractiveness or a sign that your partner wants to cheat. It’s just an acknowledgment that other people are also attractive, as long as your partner isn’t acting on it."

Your feelings are totally valid, whatever they may be, so if your partner checking out other people upsets you, then yes. You absolutely can talk to them about it , and you shouldn't have to worry about them not responding well. A good partner will be receptive to anything you have to say. So if you're able to talk about your feels and address concerns in a non-accusatory way, this is almost always a good route to go.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

How To Stop Your Wandering Eye: Every Man’s Battle

QUESTION: What do you do if you find someone attractive—other than your spouse? What if you find that you have a wandering eye?

If you find someone attractive, your first line of defense is a proper mind-set, which is this: This attraction threatens everything I hold dear.

It may not appear threatening early in the attraction, when everything seems innocent. Remember, though, that attractions grow quickly and can destroy your marriage. Even if your marriage manages to survive, at the very least the lurking will weaken the foundation of your marriage and rob your wife of your full captivation.

Your second line of defense is to declare, I have no right to think these things . State this to yourself clearly, decisively, and often. You don’t even know this woman; who are you to be attracted to her? Didn’t your Master give you your wife?

T he third line of defense is to heighten your alert.What do you normally do when you feel threatened? You take off your jacket and breathe deeply. You ready yourself for what’s coming.

Suppose you’re a bouncer at a dance club, checking I.D.s and tickets, joking with the customers. One night, five men in black leather loudly roar up on motorcycle, looking surly and arrogant. Would you relax and back away from the door? Not on your life. Without hesitation, you’d step up to the door and stand erect, ready to confront the threat.

Consider the old Star Trek television series. What did Captain Kirk do when danger approached? He cried out: Red alert! Shields up!

With your mind-set transformed, you won’t let her near the corral. The attraction will begin to starve, and she’ll drift back toward the horizon. How can you make sure this will happen?

BOUNCE YOUR EYES.

You saw her passing your corral, and you were physically attracted to her. Starve this attraction by bouncing your eyes (which means to “build a reflex action by training your eyes to immediately bounce away from the sexual, like the jerk of your hand away from the hot stove”). Don’t dwell on her beauty by stealing glances. Do this with zeal.

Sometimes this isn’t possible, but do it when you can. If she works with you, and the two of you are assigned to the same project, don’t ask her to eat lunch with you or offer her a ride home. Avoid opportunities that create positive experiences with her until the attraction phase dies. If she asks you to do something with her, excuse yourself.

WHEN YOU’RE IN HER COMPANY, PLAY THE DWEEB.

Our hero, Dweebman, steps into a nearby public rest room. He emerges as the polyester-clad enemy of all things flirtatious and hip. Dull, mild-mannered Dweebman—pocket protector shielding his heart and hair slightly askew—wages his quiet, thankless war of boring interchange. Our once-threatening Amazon withdraws to undefended sectors. This leaves Dweebman victorious again in his never-ending good fight to stave off the hip and the impure in his galactic empire!

Okay, there’s not that much glory in playing the dweeb. There’ll be no comic-book deals no endorsement deals, no 20/20 interviews with Barbara Walters, but you’ll be a hero to your wife and kids.

A dweeb is the opposite of a player. In relationships, players send and receive social signals smoothly. Dweebs do not. When a player wants to send attraction signals, there are certain things he’ll do. He’ll flirt, banter, and smile with a knowing look. He’ll talk about hip things. In short, he’ll be cool. You were a player at one time, and knew how to feed attractions. You spent your whole adolescence learning how.

Social Suicide

As a married man, however, a little social suicide is very much in order. Always play the dweeb. Players flirt… learn to un-flirt. Players banter… learn to un-banter. If a woman smiles with a knowing look, learn to smile with a slightly confused look, to un-smile. If she talks about things that are hip, talk about things are un-hip to her, like your wife and kids. She’ll find you pleasant enough but rather bland and uninteresting. Perfect.

Sometimes a woman’s attractiveness to you will be mental rather than physical. This is common in work environments as you work with women on projects that interest you both. In business it’s common to spend more hours per day with female coworkers than with your wife. You talk with them about common goals and achieving success, while all you and your wife talk about are the kids’ discipline problems, who’s going to change the dirty diapers, and bills, bills, bills.

As with physically attractive women, you must understand that if your shields aren’t up, and if you don’t recognize the threat to your marriage, you’re flirting with danger.

To summarize:

If you’re attracted to a woman, it doesn’t mean you may never again have any sort of relationship or friendship with her. It only means you must enact your defense perimeters. Once you’ve starved the attractions and she’s a safe distance away, you can have a proper relationship, one that is honoring to your wife and to the Lord.

You can also visit the web site that goes along with this book, Everymansbattle.com . They have some great articles on this web site that could minister to your needs in tremendous ways.

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Tagged: flirting , guard your heart

Filed under: Emotional & Physical Affair Sexual Issues

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60 responses to “ How To Stop Your Wandering Eye: Every Man’s Battle ”

Good Morning Everyone. My name is Ronelle and i am from South Africa. I have been going through a really turbulent two weeks. With my mum being sick and the whole atmosphere being so heavy at home. Prior to this have been a tough couple of years with the passing of my brother, my sister distancing herself from us, my dad leaving us and years later finding that he had ended up on the streets and just quite a bit of unfortunate things that have happened in our family life. there were often times where i would be so discouraged and say to my mum, “what more could God allow to happend to us” and my mum would say in almost a concerned tone for me not to say that, becuase it could be much worse, as many families lose so much each day. But these past two weeks have been so hard To the point of me actually considering giving up my Sunday School teaching in our local church. I just feel so depressed at times but so exhausted since i have two small kids to provide for as well and my mum who is in and out of depression herself. I joined the gym a while ago to help with the stress and refused the anti depressant medication. I also quite recently noticed my partner glancing at other women from time to time and although i know that it is normal, as most secular sites claim it to be, i wanted to know what Gods thoughts were on the issue and googled exactly that “What does God’s Word say about a wandering eye”. And this site came up. Thank God. The explanation of it all and how we really need to be accountable and take conscious action when we feel we are being tempted to do things that put our relationship in trouble. Thank you so much for this article. Something within my spirit refused to believe that we should just its a normal thing and that its normal if your husband has lustful thoughts as long as they dont touch. and that its crazy for the woman. wife to feel insecure and disrespected and should learn to accept it as part of life or move on.

I shared this with my partner and i was a bit nervous as to how he would repond. We are both born again believers. I thank God that he was open to listening to me read out the various points and afterward told me that he agrees with all that has been said. I told him that i do understand that for both of us it is normal to notice attractive people but to use these methods and train our minds and heart to submit under the authority of Christ and remember that He has blessed us with each other and we need to consciously work at driving out the worlds temptations. It was something that was adding to the things that worried me, but knowing that he acknowledges how it makes me feel and agrees with how we as a Godly couple should behave for God’s glory, each other and in the sight of our kids, just alleviated so much stress. I thank God for guiding me to your site. And i do know that just as He has delivered me from these fears and continues a good work in my life, He will heal and deliver my mum and family as well.

Thank you again for this article.

Lots of guys, including myself find ourselves glancing at other women. Fortunately I find my wife very attractive. I focus on her and those few special body parts & curves I really like. She wears yoga pants, plus she is almost 60!! When I pay attention to her, I notice others much less. So guys, pay attention to your wives, not others’ wives. Ladies, look good for your husband, make him notice you. throw away the house coat and jogging pants.

My fiancé of 19 years can learn from you. No matter how good I look or dress his eyes and mind still wonder on other women. Also he’s been divorced five times.

Maria, Could the “wandering eyes” on other women when he is pledged to marry you and the “five times” divorced situation give you a clue as to what might be facing you if you marry?

Wow! This gave me so much wisdom I need to stop having a wandering eye. I’m a married woman and even though this article is for men, it is right on point for women too. I will be a “dweeb”. I want to be faithful to God and my husband. Thank you.

I will agree wholeheartedly with 3 points in the article: YES learn to divert your eyes physically if you can’t trust yourself not to look with lust; YES avoid her when possible (and it isn’t always). When it’s not, have a coworker present. Leave your office door open. Don’t spend unnecessary time together, e.g., lunch, coffee after work. STAY FOCUSED on business.

“Playing the DWEEB” is about the stupidest idea I have ever heard. If she begins steering the conversation in an inappropriate direction, you can casually mention your wife/kids, etc. to remove any doubt about your being “off limits” (my best friend is the world’s best at this). If she still doesn’t get the hint, call her out on it directly, saying, “I’m sorry, but this conversation is inappropriate.”

But deliberately acting like a dork?!? That’s pathetic! Why would you want to act immature and juvenile? People will take notice of it and you will lose the respect of your co-workers and your boss. You will become a laughingstock. And rightly so. Be a man. Be mature. Be a professional and deal with it professionally.

Alan, I respectfully disagree w/second half of your comments. Particularly, “that’s pathetic” (Maybe so. But maybe not. You’re revealing a weakness in lack of understanding or empathy for those in such a forum as this. Your comment likely does more damage than good). Or maybe it’s not pathetic. Maybe it’s just the nature of being deeply in need. (People) In need of healing very deep emotional and mental wounds. Why deeply? I’m speaking of those who received abuse.

So, getting back to my point. Do you Alan, think victims of abuse can just flip a switch? What about those who were escaping life’s miseries by increasingly leaning on something to the point of obsession/addiction? Please consider these words. “Be mature, be a man”: this has a similar effect to the former. It’s bootstrap talk, which expects one to just flip-a-switch, to change not desirable behavior.

Perhaps, your recommendations are all thoughts and methods that you use. Perhaps you think they helped you. If you know someone in recovery, please avoid the putdowns and bootstrap talk. I hope you don’t badger them. Encourage their recovery. Best and blessings to you. Thank you.

Woman here. I’m having such a wandering eye these days. It’s so hard. I can’t seem to control it. I’m scared that I can’t be happy with my husband the rest of my life. I want other men. I pray daily for help. I feel no attraction for my husband anymore. I love him as a friend and companion and he’s a great person and a great father. I’m trying so hard to focus on all I do have. But this is making me depressed, to not feel desire for my husband. I could never hurt him though…..so I’m stuck in this sort of prison.

I completely understand his eyes looking at an attractive woman. But when the eyes go over, and over to the same places it becomes disrespectful to me. He keeps saying that he is very friendly, and likes to engage in conversation with man and woman alike. The flaw that I see with that thought is that if you are friendly, and want to engage in conversation, you don’t look to certain body parts to do so. I am frustrated, and not sure what to do.

I definitely like to interact and make aye contact with other women. I don’t know if that is flirting. I was fired from the same office my wife was working on because of that. I never felt I was and my wife didn’t know the reason why they let me go.

I really enjoy watching other women even if my wife is present. I don’t think that’s lack of respect either. She gets really upset and expresses her frustration; she also asked me to apologize at least, to what I normally reply that she should be the one to apologize because she looses her temper.

I don’t think I’m micro cheating, it’s just the way I am. My wife simply doesn’t understand. I don’t think I need help anyways.

Luis, I have to remind myself “eyes up”

Lazy eye (amblyopia)

On this page, when to see a doctor, risk factors, complications.

Lazy eye (amblyopia) is reduced vision in one eye caused by abnormal visual development early in life. The weaker — or lazy — eye often wanders inward or outward.

Amblyopia generally develops from birth up to age 7 years. It is the leading cause of decreased vision among children. Rarely, lazy eye affects both eyes.

Early diagnosis and treatment can help prevent long-term problems with your child's vision. The eye with poorer vision can usually be corrected with glasses or contact lenses, or patching therapy.

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• A Book: Mayo Clinic Guide to Your Baby's First Years

Signs and symptoms of lazy eye include:

• An eye that wanders inward or outward
• Eyes that appear to not work together
• Poor depth perception
• Squinting or shutting an eye
• Head tilting
• Abnormal results of vision screening tests

Sometimes lazy eye is not evident without an eye exam.

See your child's doctor if you notice his or her eye wandering after the first few weeks of life. A vision check is especially important if there's a family history of crossed eyes, childhood cataracts or other eye conditions.

For all children, a complete eye exam is recommended between ages 3 and 5.

Lazy eye develops because of abnormal visual experience early in life that changes the nerve pathways between a thin layer of tissue (retina) at the back of the eye and the brain. The weaker eye receives fewer visual signals. Eventually, the eyes' ability to work together decreases, and the brain suppresses or ignores input from the weaker eye.

Anything that blurs a child's vision or causes the eyes to cross or turn out can result in lazy eye. Common causes of the condition include:

• Muscle imbalance (strabismus amblyopia). The most common cause of lazy eye is an imbalance in the muscles that position the eyes. This imbalance can cause the eyes to cross in or turn out, and prevents them from working together.

Difference in sharpness of vision between the eyes (refractive amblyopia). A significant difference between the prescriptions in each eye — often due to farsightedness but sometimes to nearsightedness or an uneven surface curve of the eye (astigmatism) — can result in lazy eye.

Glasses or contact lenses are typically used to correct these refractive problems. In some children lazy eye is caused by a combination of strabismus and refractive problems.

• Deprivation. A problem with one eye — such as a cloudy area in the lens (cataract) — can prohibit clear vision in that eye. Deprivation amblyopia in infancy requires urgent treatment to prevent permanent vision loss. It's often the most severe type of amblyopia.

Factors associated with an increased risk of lazy eye include:

• Premature birth
• Small size at birth
• Family history of lazy eye
• Developmental disabilities

Untreated, lazy eye can cause permanent vision loss.

Aug 14, 2021

• Coats DK, et al. Amblyopia in children: Classification, screening, and evaluation. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed June 8, 2021.
• AskMayoExpert. Amblyopia. Mayo Clinic; 2021.
• Amblyopia. National Eye Institute. https://www.nei.nih.gov/learn-about-eye-health/eye-conditions-and-diseases/amblyopia-lazy-eye. Accessed June 8, 2021.
• Amblyopia preferred practice pattern. American Academy of Ophthalmology. https://www.aao.org/preferred-practice-pattern/amblyopia-ppp-2017. Accessed June 8, 2021.
• Coats DK, et al. Amblyopia in children: Management and outcome. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed June 8, 2021.
• Diseases & Conditions
• Lazy eye (amblyopia) symptoms & causes

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Relationships

The case for letting your partner’s eye wander.

Just ask Eve. There’s nothing so desirable as the one thing you’re not allowed to have. Which is why a new study suggests that if your partner’s got a wandering eye, you might be better off letting him (or her) enjoy it.

Research on romance has consistently shown that men and women who don’t notice attractive strangers tend to be more satisfied in their own relationships and are more likely to stay with their partners long term. Of course, that blindness has to come naturally. When a person is forced to divert his attention from that cute bartender — by, say, a jealous partner’s opprobrium — it could result in a sort of “backlash” effect, which may end up reducing his level of relationship commitment. ( More on Time.com: Does Your Partner Hold Grudges? Blame It on His Mother )

That’s the finding of a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which tests the “forbidden fruit” hypothesis in a series of experiments on college students who were involved in romantic relationships. Write the researchers:

Just as people want jobs they cannot have, salaries they cannot earn, and cars they cannot afford, people may desire attractive alternatives more and desire their current relationship partner less when they are placed in situations that limit their ability to attend to attractive alternatives.

Certainly, if one partner makes it a habit to drool after attractive strangers while his or her spouse rages with jealousy, there’s probably a larger problem at hand. But the researchers found that the forbidden-fruit effect remained even in cases in which a person’s attention was subtly, unnoticeably restricted. “We proposed that limiting people’s attention to attractive alternatives would undermine positive relationship processes, even when the limitations on attention are posed outside people’s conscious awareness,” the authors write. ( More on Time.com: Real-Life Romeos Don’t Compare to Dream Lovers )

The first experiment involved a group of 42 undergraduate students (because, you know, who’s more committed than a 19-year-old college kid?), 25 of whom were women. Three-quarters said they were in committed relationships; the others were mostly casually dating, with a minority of married students. The participants sat before a computer looking at quick-flashing images of face pairs — one attractive, the other average. After the images flashed, one face was replaced with a target letter (E or F), which the participant was instructed to press on the keyboard as accurately and quickly as possible. The program was purposefully rigged to restrict some students’ attention from the more attractive faces, by having the target letter appear in the place of the average-looking face 80% of the time.

Following the computer exercise, all participants filled out questionnaires about their level of relationship commitment and satisfaction (including questions like “How dedicated are you to your relationship?”) and their attitudes toward infidelity (rating statements like “Being faithful to my romantic partner is important to me”). Researchers found that participants who had been unknowingly prevented from looking at attractive faces reported less relationship satisfaction and more positive attitudes toward infidelity than people who were allowed to peep at all faces equally.

A subsequent experiment used the same computer-attention task to show that people who were prevented from gazing at attractive members of the opposite sex were actually more likely to remember them. After having 36 undergrads complete the computer task and then a distraction task, researchers tested the participants’ ability to pick out previously seen attractive faces from a lineup. As the researchers predicted, those whose attention was forcibly diverted — and thus had spent less time looking at attractive faces — were better at recognizing them later on. The effect held for both men and women. ( More on Time.com: Texting Leads to Sex Sooner — and Easier Breakups Later )

Having shown that reining in a wandering eye leads people to devalue commitment and remember cute strangers better, in their final experiment the researchers wanted to see if the restriction would also make participants more vulnerable to attractive alternatives later on — at least in terms of attention. Indeed, testing a pool of 158 undergrads, of whom 42% were “dating casually” and 51% were in committed relationships, married or engaged, the researchers found that people whose attention was restricted in the computer task were measurably more engaged by attractive faces in a subsequent task, compared with people in the control group.

The current research has some obvious limitations itself: it involved college students in relatively new relationships; but commitment is known to strengthen over time. It also didn’t follow-up to see whether people’s changes in attitude toward commitment and fidelity led to actual cheating or relationship failure later.

As for the takeaway message here, it’s what you’ve known all along. A partner’s consistently wandering eye probably signals some larger problem that a slap on the wrist isn’t likely to address. The success of your relationship rests on a lot of hard work and constant communication. The authors write:

Being told simply not to look is probably not an effective strategy for boosting satisfaction and commitment or reducing interest in alternatives. To be sure, spending most of one’s time attending to attractive alternatives is not a boon to a good relationship. Probably the most effective solution involves working on enhancing relationship processes that naturally lead to decreased attention, such as focusing on positive aspects of one’s partner.

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Woman reveals husband's 'creepy' habit with other women

By Bianca Farmakis | 3 years ago

The 'wandering eye' has long been a focal point of animosity among many committed couples.

Now, an anonymous woman has revealed her husband's "creepy" habit with other women, saying it's unlikely to change.

Writing in to an advice column in the Washington Post , the woman, 37, said her husband will regularly "find a woman and stare" every few minutes.

RELATED: Brace yourself: the full story of the 'Distracted Boyfriend' couple has emerged

"He will look over and stare until he gets her attention, and then they both stare at each other," she said.

The woman explained her insecurity does not stem from feeling unattractive or lacking a personality in her husband's presence. When she confronted her husband about the issue, he simply denied any wrongdoing.

RELATED: The most common excuse cheaters give their partners

"This makes me feel like I'm nothing, and it's just simply embarrassing," she wrote.

The situation escalates when the pair are around potentially confrontational people.

Revealing their friends pretend not to notice his habit when they're out, the woman recalled an incident in which her husband was nearly "punched" for staring at a man's girlfriend.

Though this only happened once, the woman she secretly hoped the man would punch her husband.

The frustrating situation however, doesn't draw a conclusive link to infidelity in the eyes of relationship science.

In 2017, a study of 96 heterosexual couples by the University of South Carolina Lancaster found people feeling angered by their partner's wandering eye was a "projection of their own attraction to alternatives more than it was an accurate reflection of their partner's attraction."

Put simply, if someone is struggling with their partner's desire to stray, it's probably because they've considered doing it themselves.

A 2016 study found that unlike women, men prefer faces they've never seen before - and often rank their female counterparts "less attractive" when they see them for a second time.

Caroline Madden, a marriage and family therapist, and author of After a Good Man Cheats , told Fatherly it's often a sign of people simply "noticing" those around them.

"Just because you are in a committed relationship doesn't mean you're dead — you're still going to notice beautiful people," she explained.

"It is human to glance, so if you notice someone good looking, it's generally okay. It's more about not letting that slippery slope happen."

Psychotherapist Allison Cohen told Deep Soulful Love that frequently reminding yourself of your partner's commitment to you is crucial, "even if they notice an attractive other from time to time.

"For those that do desire an outward communication of the issue, your best bet will be to come from a place of observation and curiosity," she explained.

"If after the conversation, you determine that the behaviour hasn't ceased or lessened, you may need to re-evaluate the level at which your partner respects and addresses your needs."

However, Florida State University found a link between the wandering eye and infidelity in a 2018 study . It determined people who looked elsewhere were more likely to have cheated on their partner within a three-year period.

The study also discovered that when people stared for shorter periods of time, cheating was likely to be reduced by half - with 100 milliseconds sparking all the difference.

The Washington Post 's advice columnist Miss Manners told the woman, "It is not that you are afraid he is looking at someone prettier; it is that he is embarrassing himself by harassing some other woman."

"If it is not going to stop, then either he or you will not be in attendance at the next dinner."

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How to “See” If Your Partner Only Has Eyes for You

Cultivate an eye for a wandering eye by understanding how gaze matters..

Posted March 30, 2019 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

You have just been seated at a trendy new restaurant and are eager to begin an evening of great food and great conversation. You don't need to look at the menu—you chose your entrée on the restaurant website days ago. Your date doesn't look at it either—apparently for a very different reason. He doesn't look at you either; his gaze is focused on another woman seated nearby at the bar. Given that this is your first night out together, does his focus (or fixation) indicate he is being obvious or oblivious?

Does Other-Focus Indicate Distraction or Attraction ?

If you have ever been in this situation, out with someone who seems to notice everyone but you, know that you are in good company. Although it is hard not to take personally, most people have found themselves in this awkward predicament at one time or another, wondering what to do, whether to say something, or how to best get through the evening.

Whether you are out to dinner, a ballgame, or any other public outing, partner inattention can range from distraction to fixation. A “date” who is engaging in embarrassing staring and ogling of relational alternatives is the easy case, where clearly the first date is the last. The more challenging scenarios involve subtle glances, lingering eye contact with others, or other types of ambiguous behavior where you worry your suspicions reflect your own insecurity rather than the intentions of your partner.

Particularly with couples whose primary method of interaction has been online, a failure to connect visually on a first date is unnerving. This is because eye contact during the getting-to-know-you phase of a relationship is very important. There may be cultural explanations and social rules that explain visual behavior in many cases. In others, research shows that fixation reveals motivation .

Gaze research has focused on the link between looking and thinking, and accordingly reveals some suggestions for discerning the objectives behind the optics.

Gaze Reveals Interest: Where Do You Look?

When it comes to attraction, where you look might reflect what you are thinking. Omri Gillath et al. (2017) studied the correlation between eye movements and interest when looking at photographs of potential friends versus romantic partners. 1 They found that when assessing romantic suitability, people looked more at the head and chest. When assessing potential friends, on the other hand, they looked more at the feet and legs.

Does relationship status make a difference? Gillath et al. found that in general, singles looked at the photographs longer than people in relationships, especially when judging potential mates.

Regarding gender differences, they found that women interested in friendship looked more at the head, as opposed to men, who looked at the head when they were less interested in friendship.

In explaining their findings and possible implications, they noted that people are “visual creatures,” using the sense of sight more than any other sense to interpret surroundings. They also note that both friendship and romance are anchored in attraction. Their research emphasized that the way we regard each other differs based on both our gender and relational goals.

Attraction and Social Comparison

Attraction also involves an element of social comparison. One phenomenon that has been tested through research is the fact that in a dating context, people not only size up each other, but the competition .

Research reveals how women consider social comparison by measuring photograph viewing time. In a study involving showing heterosexual men and women photographs of individuals in bathing suits, Yin Xu et al. (2016) found the men to be more gender-specific in viewing time patterns. 2

They found that with women, however, social comparison attention played a role. While the viewing time of men was only associated with ratings of sexual attractiveness , women viewing photographs of other women were associated with both self-reported sexual attractions and physical appearance social comparison.

Obviously, all women are different, and these results will not apply to everyone. But this is one example of how attention does not necessarily indicate intention. There are different factors that explain why we look at someone longer than our partner might like—when he or she does not understand the reason for our lingering gaze.

The Eyes Have It: Windows to the Soul

Understanding the range of possible explanations for visual behavior is important—but should be interpreted in context. Culture, social conditioning, insecurity, and a wide range of other factors may be at play. Hence the necessity of moving slowly and getting to know the person behind the gaze. If the eyes are the windows to the soul, you want to become acquainted with the character beneath the physical characteristics.

1. Omri Gillath, Angela J. Bahns, and Hayley A. Burghart, ”Eye Movements When Looking at Potential Friends and Romantic Partners,” Arch Sex Behav 46 (2017): 2313-2325.

2. Yin Xu, Qazi Rahman, and Yong Zheng, “Gender-Specificity in Viewing Time Among Heterosexual Women,” Arch Sex Behav 46 (2017): 1361-1374.

Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D., is a career trial attorney, behavioral analyst, author of Red Flags , and co-author of Reading People .

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Amblyopia (Lazy Eye)

Division of ophthalmology, what is amblyopia.

Amblyopia, also known as lazy eye or wandering eye, is a common vision problem in children. In most cases of amblyopia, your child’s brain ignores the signals coming from one eye, meaning the other eye is the only one being used.

Over time, the brain gets used to working with only one eye. The eye that’s being ignored by the brain doesn’t develop normal vision.

If treated while your child is young and the eyes are still developing, he has a good chance of overcoming amblyopia. The goal of treatment is to make your child’s brain use both eyes. Getting the eyes to work as a team becomes harder as your child grows. Early treatment is best; and treatment may not work at all if started after 7-10 years of age.

If left untreated, amblyopia may keep your child from developing normal vision.

Amblyopia affects 2-5 percent of children.

Amblyopia has three main causes:

• Strabismus , which occurs when a child’s eyes aren’t aligned (straight). The eyes don’t work together. This leads the brain to ignore one eye.
• Refractive error , or need for glasses. Children are especially at risk if one eye has larger need for glasses compared to other eye.
• Conditions that cause poor vision in one eye, like cataract or droopy eyelid (ptosis), which prompts the brain to ignore the blurry pictures seen by that eye.

Additional factors can place a child at a higher risk for amblyopia, including:

• A family history of amblyopia
• Prematurity
• Developmental delay
• Craniofacial disorders
• Certain genetic conditions, such as Down syndrome (trisomy 21) , 22q deletion syndrome , Williams syndrome and Noonan syndrome

Symptoms of amblyopia can vary from child to child, but may include:

• Squinting in one or both eyes
• Rubbing one eye (not just when tired)
• Holding items close to the eyes to see them
• A wandering or crossed eye (strabismus)

It’s important to note that some children display no symptoms of amblyopia. The child’s strong eye — and her brain — can compensate for the weaker eye, making it appear that the child has good vision.

Testing and diagnosis

Vision screening is the best way to detect presence of amblyopia or risk factors for developing amblyopia. Photoscreening, a type of vision screening that uses a special camera to determine how well a child can see, is often performed in conjunction with vision testing at pediatricians or schools.

The goal of treatment for amblyopia is to:

• Correct the problem that is causing amblyopia
• Make each eye see as well as it can, which often involves forcing the brain to use the “weak” eye
• Force the brain to use the signals from both eyes
• Make both eyes work together

Amblyopia is most often treated by blocking one eye to keep it from doing all the work. The brain can learn to accept signals from the eye that’s being ignored. Gradually, vision in this eye may improve.

Commonly used treatments include:

• An eye patch  is placed over the eye that’s being used. With this eye blocked, the brain is forced to start working with the eye it’s ignoring. The patch must be worn while your child is awake. Your child may not like wearing a patch. But remember that treatment will work only if your child wears the patch as often as instructed.
• Medicated (atropine) eye drops  can be used instead of a patch. Drops are put in the “good” eye, blurring near vision in that eye. This allows the eye that’s being ignored to start working with the brain. Eye drops may be an option for certain children who don’t like wearing a patch. But putting in eye drops can take practice.
• Eyeglasses can help correct focusing problems . They can also be prescribed to blur sight in the eye that’s being used. This forces the brain to work with the eye it’s ignoring. In some cases, sight in one eye is blocked by sticking a patch or a filter to the inside of an eyeglass lens. As vision improves, your child’s eyeglass prescription may change.

Follow-up care

Once amblyopia improves, maintenance treatment may be needed to prevent vision from slipping. Maintenance treatment includes continued wearing of eyeglasses and/or wearing an eye patch for decreasing amounts of time during the day than was required during the treatment period.

Amblyopia can cause blindness, but fortunately it is the most reversible cause of blindness. Treatment is highly successful as long as children and families stick to the treatment plan.

Reviewed by Stefanie L. Davidson, MD

Providers Who Treat Amblyopia (Lazy Eye)

William Anninger, MD

Gil Binenbaum, MD, MSCE

Stefanie L. Davidson, MD

Emily A. DeCarlo, MD

Brian j. forbes, md, phd.

Anne Jensen, MD

Priyanka Kumar, MD

Ayesha Malik, OD

Monte D. Mills, MD

Julia E. Reid, MD

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Wandering Eye

by NSG SEO | A Child's Vision , Newsletters | 0 comments

A wandering eye is a type of eye condition known as strabismus or tropia, and it may be caused by damage to the retina or muscles that control the eye, stroke or brain injury, or an uncorrected refractive error like farsightedness. With a wandering eye, one eye deviates or wanders in a different direction when looking at an object.

What Causes a Wandering Eye?

The eyes contain muscles to which they are attached to, and these muscles receive signals from the brain that direct eye movement. Normally, the eyes work together so that they focus in the same direction at the same time. However, with a wandering eye, there is poor eye muscle control and one eye turns away from the object that the person is attempting to hone in on—either up, down, in or out. The eye that turns may do so all the time, or it may only do so at certain times, such as when the person is fatigued, sick or has overworked the eyes as a result of prolonged reading or staring at a computer. There are other cases where the eyes may alternate turning.

Because the eyes are misaligned, the brain receives a different image from each eye. While the brain will learn to ignore the image it gets from the wandering eye, if left untreated, lazy eye or amblyopia can present. This is characterized by a permanent reduction of vision in the traveling eye, and can lead to poor depth perception.

A wandering eye can be classified by the direction the eye turns:

• Inward (esotropia)
• Outward (exotropia)
• Downward (hypotropia)
• Upward (hypertropia)

It may also be classified in other ways:

• Alternating (the eye that turns alternates from left to right)
• Unilateral (always involves the same eye)
• Constant or intermittent (the regularity with which it occurs)

Testing and Treatment

To determine the classification, and in order to develop a treatment plan for a wandering eye, an optometrist will look at a number of factors to understand the cause of the condition, as well as how the eyes move and focus. This may include:

• Looking at the patient’s  family history
• Reviewing the patient’s  medical history
• Observing the external and internal structures  of the turned eye
• Refraction  – a string of lenses are put in front of the patient’s eyes and a handheld instrument with a light source is waved pass. This is done to gauge how the eyes focus and can conclude the lens power needed to correct refractive errors like nearsightedness, astigmatism and farsightedness.
• Visual acuity  – reading letters on distance or near reading charts to measure and estimate the amount of visual impairment
• Focusing and alignment testing   to determine how well your eyes move, focus and work together.

Information gathered from these assessments will help your optometrist devise a treatment plan, which could consist of vision therapy, eyeglasses, prism or eye muscle surgery. If treated early, a wandering eye can be corrected and vision can be restored.

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Amblyopia (Lazy Eye)

At a glance: Amblyopia

Poor vision in 1 eye

Eye drops or wearing an eye patch

What is amblyopia?

Amblyopia (also called lazy eye) i s a type of poor vision  that usually happens in just 1 eye but less commonly in both eyes. It develops when there’s a breakdown in how the brain and the eye work together, and the brain can’t recognize the sight from 1 eye. Over time, the brain relies more and more on the other, stronger eye — while vision in the weaker eye gets worse.

It’s called “lazy eye” because the stronger eye works better. But people with amblyopia are not lazy, and they can’t control the way their eyes work.

Amblyopia starts in childhood, and it’s the most common cause of vision loss in kids. Up to 3 out of 100 children have it. The good news is that early treatment works well and usually prevents long-term vision problems.

What are the symptoms of amblyopia?

Symptoms of amblyopia can be hard to notice. Kids with amblyopia may have poor depth perception — they have trouble telling how near or far something is. Parents may also notice signs that their child is struggling to see clearly, like:

• Shutting 1 eye
• Tilting their head

In many cases, parents don’t know their child has amblyopia until a doctor diagnoses it during an eye exam. That’s why it’s important for all kids to get a vision screening at least once between ages 3 and 5.

Is my child at risk for amblyopia?

Some kids are born with amblyopia and others develop it later in childhood. The chances of having amblyopia are higher in kids who:

• Were born early (premature)
• Were smaller than average at birth
• Have a family history of amblyopia, childhood cataracts, or other eye conditions
• Have developmental disabilities

What causes amblyopia?

In many cases, doctors don’t know the cause of amblyopia. But sometimes, a different vision problem can lead to amblyopia.

Normally, the brain uses nerve signals from both eyes to see. But if an eye condition makes vision in 1 eye worse, the brain may try to work around it. It starts to “turn off” signals from the weaker eye and rely only on the stronger eye.

Some eye conditions that can lead to amblyopia are:

• Refractive errors. These include common vision problems like nearsightedness (having trouble seeing far away), farsightedness (having trouble seeing things up close), and astigmatism (which can cause blurry vision). Normally, these problems are easy to fix with glasses or contacts. But if they’re not treated, the brain may start to rely more on the eye with stronger vision.
• Strabismus . Usually, the eyes move together as a pair. But in kids with strabismus, the eyes don’t line up. One eye might drift in, out, up, or down.
• Cataract. This causes cloudiness in the lens of the eye, making things look blurry. While most cataracts happen in older people, babies and children can also develop cataracts.

How will my child’s doctor check for amblyopia?

As part of a normal vision screening , your child’s doctor will look for signs of amblyopia. All kids ages 3 to 5 need to have their vision checked at least once.

What’s the treatment for amblyopia?

If there’s a vision problem causing amblyopia, the doctor may treat that first. For example, doctors may recommend glasses or contacts (for kids who are nearsighted or farsighted) or surgery (for kids with cataract).

The next step is to re-train the brain and force it to use the weaker eye. The more the brain uses it, the stronger it gets. Treatments include:

Wearing an eye patch on the stronger eye. By covering up this eye with a stick-on eye patch (similar to a Band-Aid), the brain has to use the weaker eye to see. Some kids only need to wear the patch for 2 hours a day, while others may need to wear it whenever they're awake.

Putting special eye drops in the stronger eye. A once-a-day drop of the drug atropine can temporarily blur near vision, which forces the brain to use the other eye. For some kids, this treatment works as well as an eye patch, and some parents find it easier to use (for example, because young children may try to pull off eye patches).

After your child starts treatment, their vision may start to get better within a few weeks. But it will probably take months to get the best results. After that, your child may still need to use these treatments from time to time to stop amblyopia from coming back.

It’s important to start treating children with amblyopia early — the sooner the better. Kids who grow up without treatment may have lifelong vision problems. Amblyopia treatment is usually less effective in adults than in children.

Last updated: September 22, 2022

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Lazy Eye: Causes and Treatment

• Vision Problems
• Daily Management

If you or your child has a lazy eye ( amblyopia ), one eye is sending unclear images to the brain. while both eyes can be affected, usually amblyopia affects just one eye, with the brain relying on the stronger eye for visual information.

A lazy eye, which some people are born with, is the primary source of vision loss in kids, but adults with vision trouble in one of their eyes also can develop lazy eye later in life.

This article will discuss the causes of lazy eye, vision problems it causes, diagnosis, treatment, and management.

Illustration by Mira Norian for Verywell Health

How Do You Get Lazy Eye?

Lazy eye can develop anytime an eye is not functioning properly and fails to send sharp images to the brain. It is most common in young children. The condition affects up to 3 out of 100 children. Typically this happens in the following instances:

• If one eye over the other is much more nearsighted (able to see near objects more clearly than distant objects) or farsighted (able to see distant objects more clearly than near objects), the brain will begin to ignore the eye sending the fuzzier signals.
• In cases of strabismus , a condition in which the eyes focus on different images, such as if one eye wanders to the side instead of looking straight ahead, the brain will have to choose which eye to rely on for information. It then begins to ignore the other.
• If the normally clear lens (the structure that focuses light on the retina) develops a cataract (a clouding of the lens), after a while, the brain will tune out signals from the eye and will potentially never see normally.

These eye conditions are more likely to occur in some people than others. Those at risk for developing a lazy eye include children who were premature at birth or had a low birth weight and those who come from families where someone else has amblyopia.

Treatment: Can You "Fix" a Lazy Eye?

Effectively treating a lazy eye means first understanding what's causing it while aiming to correct the vision in the weaker eye. Treatment is particularly effective in children under the age 7 whose vision is still developing. Some treatments to consider include:

• Wear glasses to sharpen vision, particularly in the weaker eye.
• Put a patch over the stronger eye several hours a day to allow the brain to begin to rely on the weaker eye.
• Temporarily blur vision in the stronger eye with atropine drops .
• Surgically correct things interfering with vision, such as a drooping eyelid or a cataract .
• Watch videos wearing a virtual reality headset to strengthen the weaker eye (in children ages 4 to 7).
• Perform eye exercises to strengthen the weak eye .
• Undergo muscle surgery to allow the eyes to work better together.

Eye doctors, such as ophthalmologists, encourage early treatment. Seek treatment even if the lazy eye is not discovered until later or there is some other obstacle. Don't consider it to be too late.

Research suggests that even adults can potentially improve their vision. Although it was once believed that the vision center of the adult brain could not hold on to any new experiences or information, research has shown that this is not true, and it is possible to improve vision somewhat.

Identifying Lazy Eye

It helps to know the symptoms of lazy eye to be able to identify it in your child or yourself. Symptoms can be subtle and include:

• A tendency to shut one eye
• Tilting the head to see better
• Squinting to see more clearly
• Eyes that appear to be working on their own rather than together
• Eyes that are inwardly or outwardly turned
• Trouble with depth perception
• Decreased vision in one eye

Because signs in children may be subtle and difficult to discern, it's important to take children between the ages of 3 and 5 for regular vision screenings.

The cause of lazy eye will determine whether and when surgery is needed. For instance, if an infant has a dense cataract, surgery will need to be performed right away. But if the child is older and the cataract is just a small dot, the eye doctor may try other measures first, like patching the eye that doesn't have the cataract.

For children with strabismus (depending on their age), the eye surgeon may want to perform eye muscle surgery as early as possible. Those under age 4 tend to have better outcomes than older children.

While strabismus surgery typically ranges from $5,000 to $10,000 out of pocket, much of the cost usually is covered by insurance.

Vision Problems With Lazy Eye

If children with lazy eye are treated early enough (before age 5), they tend to recover fully, with no lingering vision problems. But if treatment is delayed, the child may have problems with depth perception . Those over age 10 may only recover some vision with treatment and may have some permanent vision loss in the affected eye.

Keep in mind that the impairment in the eye can be mild, with vision in the 20/30 range, or severe, leaving the child legally blind in the eye with 20/200 vision.

Amblyopia Daily Management

In many cases, amblyopia is managed daily with treatments like using drops or patching the stronger eye for a period of time.

If patching is used, you'll initially be asked to cover the stronger eye for about two hours daily. The eye doctor will then monitor vision every six to 12 weeks. If there is not enough improvement, you or your child will be asked to wear the patch up to six hours daily.

Getting a child to keep a patch on can be challenging but is of utmost importance. Some strategies to try if a child resists include the following:

• Rewarding the child for using the patch with computer, device, or TV time
• Motivating them with stickers on a patching chart or diary for hours when the patch is worn

The use of atropine drops is an alternative to patching. Each day a drop is placed in the stronger eye to widen the pupil . It then forces the other eye to be used for close-up tasks like reading.

Also, each day you can encourage your child to perform eye exercises to strengthen the weaker eye, such as the following:

• Viewing dots
• Coloring within the lines
• Playing computer games
• Following an object like a lollipop stick
• Viewing stereograms (a two-dimensional image that can cause an optical illusion if viewed in a certain way)
• Eye relaxation

These can be fun exercises for your child and work to alleviate lazy eye.

Amblyopia (lazy eye) usually affects one eye. With this, the brain begins to rely on vision signals from the stronger eye and ignore those from the weaker, "lazy" one. Reasons why a lazy eye may develop include a cataract, which makes it difficult to see out of the eye; strabismus, in which the eyes are focusing on different points; and a difference in refractive error, in which one eye sees better than the other.

Treatment ranges from patching the stronger eye or blurring with drops, to surgery to remove any obstruction that may cause the vision to be unclear, such as a cataract or drooping lid.

National Eye Institute. Amblyopia (lazy eye) .

Stanford Medicine. Causes and risk factors for lazy eye .

National Health Service. Lazy eye .

American Academy of Ophthalmology. Amblyopia: what is lazy eye?

National Health Service. Orthoptic exercises young person .

American Academy of Ophthalmology. Amblyopia: types, diagnosis, treatment, and new perspectives .

Levi DM. Rethinking amblyopia 2020 . Vision Res . 2020;176:118-129. doi:10.1016/j.visres.2020.07.014

Mount Sinai. Amblyopia .

Boston Children's Hospital. Amblyopia .

Review of Optometry. Recommended strabismus surgery as early as possible.

NVision. The cost of strabismus surgery or correction.

Penn Medicine. Amblyopia (lazy eye).

American Academy of Ophthalmology. Amblyopia treatment modalities.

By Maxine Lipner Lipner is a New York-based freelance health and medical writer who covers ophthalmology and oncology.

After the solar eclipse: Eyesight blurry? What are the symptoms of eclipse blindness? What to look for

The 2024 solar eclipse brings a rare event to ohio, but safe viewing is essential to avoid "eclipse blindness" and what could become permanent eye damage..

Ohio will witness a unique and spectacular event when the solar eclipse darkens skies around the state. A large swath of the state will be shrouded in total darkness as it falls in the path of totality (even if data suggests that path might now be smaller ).

Hopefully you're prepared with the best glasses or have supplies to construct a viewer at home . If not, you'll want to forget about watching this eclipse. Here's why.

Looking at the sun during an eclipse without protection can permanently damage your eyes

Fast forward to the hours after the solar eclipse :

You witnessed an amazing celestial sight that reminded you of our place in the cosmos. Or you stepped outside long enough to check it out, post a pic to Facebook and call it a day. But now  your eyesight is a bit blurry , and straight things look a little curved. Did you damage your eyes?

Even a short glance at the sun  without proper protection  can cause temporary or permanent damage to your eyes. Sunglasses aren't enough, you need  ISO-certified solar eclipse glasses  which block  about 1,000 times  more sunlight.

So make sure your glasses are approved, undamaged and within arm's reach today. The solar spectacle will last most of the afternoon in Ohio, but the path of totality will last just a few minutes.

When does the solar eclipse start in Ohio?

Have your eclipse glasses ready after lunch, Buckeye State stargazers. According to National Eclipse , Ohio residents can first see the moon overtake the sun at 1:53 p.m. before it fully reappears at 4:30 p.m.

The eclipse totality will last from 3:08 to 3:19 p.m. as it cuts a swath from southwest to northeast Ohio. Cincinnati and Columbus lie just south of the path of totality (northern suburbs of both cities will experience total darkness), but Akron, Cleveland, Kent and portions of North Canton lie in the path of totality.

Here's when some Ohio cities along its path can expect the total eclipse, and how long totality will last:

• Hamilton – Begins at 3:09:09 p.m., will last 1 minute, 42 seconds.
• Dayton – 3:09:29 p.m., will last 2 minutes, 43 seconds.
• Springfield – 3:10:15 p.m., will last 2 minutes, 34 seconds.
• Marion – 3:11:14 p.m., duration 3 minutes, 34 seconds.
• Delaware – 3:11:36 p.m., will last 2 minutes, 35 seconds.
• Fremont – 3:11:46 p.m., duration 2 minutes, 38 seconds.
• Dublin – 3:11:59 p.m., will last 1 minute, 23 seconds.
• Port Clinton – 3:12:12 p.m., duration 3 minutes, 30 seconds.
• Toledo – 3:12:17 p.m., duration 1 minute, 53 seconds.
• Mansfield -- 3:12:23 p.m., will last 3 minutes, 16 seconds.
• Ashland – 3:12:43 p.m., duration 3 minutes, 19 seconds.
• Wooster – 3:13:39 p.m., duration 2 minutes, 25 seconds.
• Akron – 3:14:14 p.m., will last 2 minutes, 46 seconds.
• Cuyahoga Falls – 3:14:15 p.m., will last 2 minutes, 56 seconds.
• Cleveland – 3:13:46 p.m., will last 3 minutes, 49 seconds.
• Kent – 3:14:31 p.m., will last 2 minutes, 47 seconds.

What was the last solar eclipse in Ohio? When is the next one?

Congress voted to welcome the Ohio to the United States in 1803. The Buckeye State was still a toddler the last time it experienced a solar eclipse in 1806. Eclipse glasses were decades away from being invented.

Ohio's next solar eclipse comes a little sooner than 281 years, but the 2024 event is still a once-in-a-lifetime show for many viewers – the next one won't happen until 2099.

Let's be clear: If you're in Cincinnati or Columbus on April 8, you won't see a total solar eclipse

How do I know if I damaged my eyes during the April eclipse? What are the symptoms of eclipse blindness?

So you watched the eclipse with glasses, but maybe they slipped off, were damaged, or were never ISO certified. How do you know if you damaged your eyes?

The retinas of your eyes have no nerve endings, so even if they are damaged, you may not feel any pain. But according to the  American Academy of Ophthalmology , you should go see your ophthalmologist if you experience any of these symptoms a few hours or even days after the eclipse:

• Blurry vision.
• Headache and/or eye pain.
• Vision loss or a black spot at the center of a patient’s sight in one or both eyes.
• Increased sensitivity to light.
• Distorted vision (a straight line may look bent or curvy).
• Changes in the way you see color, known as "dyschromatopsia."

How long can I look at the sun if I'm using eclipse glasses?

According to the American Astronomical Society, while some glasses and viewers include warnings about looking through them at the sun for more than 3 minutes at a time, as long as your glasses are compliant with the ISO 12312-2 safety standard and are undamaged, "you may look at the uneclipsed or partially eclipsed sun through them for as long as you wish."

What does looking at the sun do to your eyes?

Ever started a fire by using a magnifying glass to focus sunlight onto a point?

The lens of your eye does essentially the same thing when it focuses the light you see onto the retinas at the back of your eye, the  American Academy of Ophthalmology  explained. The retina is the light-detecting part of your eye that transmits those signals to the brain. Direct, intense light can burn a hole in them or destroy retinal cells almost immediately.

Normally it hurts to look at the sun and humans naturally squint or look away. Even a few seconds can be too much. But during an eclipse, the visible sunlight is reduced and it becomes possible to look directly at it without discomfort for longer periods of time. You may not even know you've damaged your eyes until the next day.

The result is solar retinopathy or retinal burns. It can happen from looking at the sun or at too-bright reflections of sunlight off snow or water. The most common cause of solar retinopathy is viewing a solar eclipse, also called eclipse blindness.

It's rare, but it can be permanent. The  2017 eclipse , which passed from Oregon to South Carolina, is thought to have caused about 100 cases, according to the  American Astronomical Society , out of the estimated 150 million people who witnessed it. But since solar retinopathy doesn't cause complete blindness, many people with minor cases may have never reported it or even known they had it.

How long will damage from looking at an eclipse last?

Researchers have found that some patients "may see symptoms ease over time," according to  David Hutton  for Ophthalmology Times. The cones in the retina are resilient and resist damage, experts say.

In a 1976 study, some patients saw their symptoms clear over time, and researchers found that some cases saw an "excellent recovery" in the first three months.

However, others have suffered permanent damage resulting in impaired vision in the form of a small blind spot in one or both eyes and distortion.

Is damage from looking at a solar eclipse treatable?

No. There is no treatment.

You should have an ophthalmologist scan your eyes to see how much damage has been done and they can monitor them over the next few months to chart any recovery, but the only thing you can do is wait and hope for it to go away.

And avoid looking at the sun.

Is it safe to look at a total solar eclipse? What to know about glasses, proper viewing

If you have your eyewear to take in monday's eclipse, here are some last-minute things to consider to ensure you're good to go..

The much-anticipated solar eclipse will finally enshroud thousands of miles of North America today in its long, narrow shadow. By now, those who plan to witness it should have their plans in place .

Travel has been completed. Schedules have been coordinated around the anticipated moment of totality. And proper eyewear is, of course, in your possession. Right?

We at USA TODAY have published no shortage of articles guiding you away from scam eclipse glasses and to the safest, most reliable options – some of which were even free. But if you need a last-minute refresher – or a crash course to catch you up on a topic you entirely missed – we're happy to oblige.

If you don't have your eclipse glasses by now, it may be too late. But some vendors, including Warby Parker , and even public libraries, have offered eclipse glasses giveaways , so be sure to check your local area before the historic event rolls into town.

And if you do have your eyewear to take in Monday's eclipse – the last one of these incredible astronomical events in North America for 20 years – here are some last-minute things to consider to ensure you're in good shape.

Solar eclipse 2024 live updates: See latest weather forecast, what time it hits your area

Can you go blind by looking at the solar eclipse?

Staring at the sun is  unlikely to completely blind you , but its powerful rays can still burn and  damage your retinas if you don't take proper safety precautions to view  solar eclipses .

That's why eyewear is recommended if you plan to look up at the sun Monday to witness the solar eclipse, which most of the country will be able to experience in some way.

In the face of the sun's powerful rays, regular sunglasses made of cheap plastic and polycarbonate material just aren't going to cut it. Astronomers and other experts instead emphasize that skygazers intent on viewing the upcoming total solar eclipse do so with  specialized eyewear  crafted to  protect their sensitive retinas  from permanent damage.

Even viewing any part of the bright sun through camera lenses, binoculars and telescopes without a specialized solar filter  could instantly cause severe eye injury , according to the American Astronomical Society.

Often made with a polyester film coated in aluminum, the glasses are highly specialized . Compared to regular sunglasses, proper eclipse glasses are 100,000 times darker to block nearly all visible, infrared and ultraviolet light and protect our sensitive retinas when looking skyward.

As another point of safety, don't look up while driving , please.

How to know when it's safe to view the eclipse without glasses

A  total solar eclipse  offers the unique opportunity for skygazers to  witness the spectacular astral display  with the naked eye – but only when the time is right.

Hundreds of cities in  13 states are along the path of totality  for the eclipse, which will move across North America from southwest to northeast . When the moon moves completely in front of the sun and blocks its light for a brief period of time, you'll know it's safe to fully take in the dazzling display.

That moment is what is called "totality," whereby uncharacteristic darkness falls and all but the sun's outermost layer known as its corona makes a rare appearance to us here on Earth,  according to NASA .

How to make sure your eclipse glasses aren't fake

In the rush to acquire  some coveted eclipse glasses  before April 8 , you may have inadvertently fallen victim to the  fakes and imitators proliferating online retailers .

While plenty of legitimate certified eyewear was widely available – and may still be – less-scrupulous manufacturers try all sorts of methods and tricks to get your attention and make you believe the product you're about to buy is the real deal.

For instance, many vendors began making the grand (and entirely made-up) claim that their products are endorsed by NASA.

As the space agency  reiterated to USA TODAY , NASA highly recommended that skygazers get a pair of certified eclipse glasses before the total solar eclipse  charts a 115-mile-wide path of totality  blanketing much of North America in  uncharacteristic darkness . But it does not approve  any particular brand of solar viewers, despite what many vendors may claim.

The responsibility of guiding American consumers to the safest eclipse glasses is largely left to the American Astronomical Society.

The organization maintains  a curated list of approved vendors  of solar eclipse glasses that it updated to give priority to North American manufacturers ahead of the total solar eclipse. Products you purchase that are listed on that site are guaranteed to be  in compliance with  the highest international safety standards.

Those standards are set by the International Organization for Standardization, which only vouches for solar eclipse glasses that are dark and strong enough to filter out a certain amount of the sun's harmful light.

The astronomical society also provides some  helpful tips  for how to spot counterfeit glasses.

No eclipse glasses? Welding lenses, pinhole projectors among alternative viewers

While certified solar eclipse glasses are the preferred method for viewing the eclipse, alternative methods do exist that don't necessarily sacrifice one's safety.

Many people, particularly blue-collar workers, may be tempted to turn to those welding lenses they have sitting in their workshop.

But beware: The most common welding goggles and helmets aren't typically strong enough to adequately withstand the sun's powerful rays and protect your vulnerable eyes.

Any welding lenses weaker than a Shade 12 filter – a number that indicates the level of protection offered – just aren't going to cut it when it comes to gazing upward in anticipation of the moon blocking all but the sun's outermost layer.

It's also not too late to buy some welding lenses, which Tractor Supply is promoting for sale at its 282 stores along the path of totality as a viable option for viewing the eclipse.

Another simple method is to create your own pinhole projector to project the sun onto a nearby surface. The American Astronomical Society offers helpful  instructions  to set them up.

And one final note: As you make your eclipse-viewing plans,  these interactive maps  should help you chart the time and duration for when totality would occur in cities along the path.

Eric Lagatta covers breaking and trending news for USA TODAY. Reach him at [email protected]

Watch CBS News

Why is looking at a solar eclipse dangerous without special glasses? Eye doctors explain.

By Sara Moniuszko

Edited By Allison Elyse Gualtieri

Updated on: April 8, 2024 / 8:54 AM EDT / CBS News

The solar eclipse will be visible for millions of Americans on April 8, 2024, making many excited to see it — but how you watch it matters, since it can be dangerous for your eyes. 

A  solar eclipse occurs when the moon passes between the sun and Earth, blocking the sun's light . When the moon blocks some of the sun, it's a partial solar eclipse, but when moon lines up with the sun, blocking all of its light, a total solar eclipse occurs,  NASA explains . Either way, you need eye protection when viewing.

"The solar eclipse will be beautiful, so I hope that everyone experiences it — but they need to experience it in the right way," said Dr. Jason P. Brinton, an ophthalmologist and medical director at Brinton Vision in St. Louis.

Here's what to know to stay safe.

Why is looking at a solar eclipse dangerous?

Looking at the sun — even when it's partially covered like during an eclipse — can cause eye damage.

There is no safe dose of solar ultraviolet rays or infrared radiation, said  Dr. Yehia Hashad , an ophthalmologist, retinal specialist and the chief medical officer at eye health company Bausch + Lomb.

"A very small dose could cause harm to some people," he said. "That's why we say the partial eclipse could also be damaging. And that's why we protect our eyes with the partial as well as with the full sun."

Some say that during a total eclipse, it's safe to view the brief period time when the moon completely blocks the sun without eye protection. But experts warn against it. 

"Totality of the eclipse lasts only about 1 to 3 minutes based on geographic location, and bright sunlight suddenly can appear as the moon continues to move," notes an eclipse viewing guide published in JAMA , adding, "even a few seconds of viewing the sun during an eclipse" can temporarily or permanently damage your vision. 

Do I need special glasses for eclipse viewing?

Yes.  Eclipse glasses are needed to protect your eyes if you want to look at the eclipse.

Regular sunglasses aren't protective enough for eclipse viewing — even if you stack more than one. 

"There's no amount of sunglasses that people can put on that will make up for the filtering that the ISO standard filters and the eclipse glasses provide," Brinton said.

You also shouldn't look at the eclipse through a camera lens, phone, binoculars or telescope, according to NASA, even while wearing eclipse glasses. The solar rays can burn through the lens and cause serious eye injury.

Eclipse glasses must comply with the  ISO 12312-2 international safety standard , according to NASA, and should have an "ISO" label printed on them to show they comply. The American Astronomical Society  has a list  of approved solar viewers.

Can't find these, or they're sold out near you? You can also  make homemade viewers ,   which allow you to observe the eclipse indirectly — just don't accidentally look at the sun while using one.

How to keep kids safe during the solar eclipse

Since this eclipse is expected to occur around the time of dismissal for many schools across the country, it may be tempting for students to view it without the proper safety precautions while getting to and from their buses. That's why some school districts are  canceling classes early so kids can enjoy the event safely with their families.

Dr. Avnish Deobhakta, vitreoretinal surgeon at New York Eye and Ear Infirmary at Mount Sinai, said parents should also be careful because it can be difficult for children to listen or keep solar eclipse glasses on. 

"You want to actually, in my opinion, kind of avoid them even looking at the eclipse, if possible," he said. "Never look directly at the sun, always wear the right eclipse sunglasses if you are going to look at the sun and make sure that those are coming from a reliable source."

Brinton recommends everyone starts their eclipse "viewing" early, by looking at professional photos and videos of an eclipse online or visiting a local planetarium. 

That way, you "have an idea of what to expect," he said. 

He also recommends the foundation  Prevent Blindness , which has resources for families about eclipse safety.

What happens if you look at a solar eclipse without eclipse glasses?

While your eyes likely won't hurt in the moment if you look at the eclipse without protection, due to lowered brightness and where damage occurs in the eye, beware: The rays can still cause damage .

The harm may not be apparent immediately. Sometimes trouble starts to appear one to a few days following the event. It could affect just one or both eyes.

And while some will regain normal visual function, sometimes the damage is permanent. 

"Often there will be some recovery of the vision in the first few months after it, but sometimes there is no recovery and sometimes there's a degree to which it is permanent," Brinton said. 

How long do you have to look at the eclipse to damage your eyes?

Any amount of time looking at the eclipse without protection is too long, experts say. 

"If someone briefly looks at the eclipse, if it's extremely brief, in some cases there won't be damage. But damage can happen even within a fraction of a second in some cases," Brinton said. He said he's had patients who have suffered from solar retinopathy, the official name for the condition.

Deobhakta treated a patient who watched the 2017 solar eclipse for 20 seconds without proper eye protection. She now has permanent damage in the shape of a crescent that interferes with her vision. 

"The crescent that is burned into the retina, the patient sees as black in her visual field," he said. "The visual deficit that she has will never go away."

How to know if you've damaged your eyes from looking at the eclipse

Signs and symptoms of eye damage following an eclipse viewing include headaches, blurred vision, dark spots, changes to how you see color, lines and shapes. 

Unfortunately, there isn't a treatment for solar retinopathy.

"Seeing an eye care professional to solidify the diagnosis and for education I think is reasonable," Brinton said, but added, "right now there is nothing that we do for this. Just wait and give it time and the body does tend to heal up a measure of it."

Sara Moniuszko is a health and lifestyle reporter at CBSNews.com. Previously, she wrote for USA Today, where she was selected to help launch the newspaper's wellness vertical. She now covers breaking and trending news for CBS News' HealthWatch.

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What do Texan red heifers have to do with Al-Aqsa and a Jewish temple?

Temple Movement’s plan to sacrifice the cattle seen as a step towards its goal of building the Third Temple over Al-Aqsa Mosque.

They have come from halfway across the world and are kept under tight security and raised according to the strictest rules.

They are five pure red heifers without blemish who have never worked, given birth, been milked or worn a yoke.

Keep reading

Israel blocks thousands of palestinians from visiting al-aqsa mosque, israeli settlers storm al-aqsa mosque complex on fifth day of sukkot, murabitat: the palestinian women defending al-aqsa, what does the ‘status quo’ mean at jerusalem’s al-aqsa mosque.

These red heifers and the archaic ritual they were brought to Israel for stand at the heart of a convoluted effort by a segment of ultranationalist Jews to destroy the Al-Aqsa Mosque compound , the third holiest site in Islam that has stood on a hill in the Old City of Jerusalem for more than 1,000 years, and replace it with a “Third Temple”.

This minority ultranationalist push flies in the face of Jewish scholarship, which rules that a “Third Temple” can only be constructed after the coming of the awaited Messiah to usher in the “Kingdom of God” – not to bring about the return of the Messiah to Earth.

Members of these “Temple Movement” groups are also pushing to perform Jewish rites in the Al-Aqsa Mosque compound , in violation of the chief rabbinate’s longstanding prohibition of the presence of Jews at Al-Aqsa due to the holiness of the site.

Heifer prophecy

According to the Old Testament, the two Jewish temples that stood where the Al-Aqsa compound stands today were ritually pure as were all instruments, garments and people who served in them.

The first temple stood from 1000 to 586 BCE and the second from 515 BCE to 70 AD and the third temple is what ultranationalist organisations have been working towards for decades.

Palestinians have for decades feared Israeli attempts to take over Al-Aqsa, which is the direction Muslims used to pray towards before the Kaaba in Mecca.

These fears have been particularly acute since 1967 when Israel illegally occupied East Jerusalem along with the West Bank and Gaza in the wake of the 1967 War.

The growing Jewish presence in Al-Aqsa and frequent attacks by Israeli security forces on Palestinian worshippers in recent years have only increased those fears.

According to the reasoning of ultranationalist Jewish organisations like the Temple Institute, a “Third Temple” cannot be built until Al-Aqsa is destroyed and the compound is purified, along with garments, utensils and hundreds of men of a particular lineage who have been trained for the priesthood who all stand ready to serve in this temple.

The purification is through a mixture of ashes – of a sacrificed red heifer, red yarn, cedar wood and hyssop – with fresh spring water collected by ritually pure children who were born and raised under certain conditions. This ash mixture is believed to remain effective for up to 100 years and can be mixed with spring water as needed.

The search for these pure red heifers is not new and has been a main aim of the Temple Institute since its founding in 1987, with fundraising efforts to breed one through IVF and to search all over the world for one.

Until 2022, when five red yearlings were donated by an evangelical farmer from Texas, United States, and flown to Israel as “pets” to get around restrictions on importing live animals as livestock at the time.

There have also been efforts to secure and prepare a plot of land on the Mount of Olives, which overlooks the Al-Aqsa compound and would enable the priest overseeing the killing of the heifer to sprinkle her blood towards Al-Aqsa as detailed in the Bible.

Sacrifice imminent?

There are indications that the Temple Movement is preparing to sacrifice a red heifer with the support of the Israeli government, according to the Israeli NGO Ir Amim.

The Israeli Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development circumvented protocols when initially seeking permission to import red heifers, Ir Amim noted in a report in August, an example of increasing government involvement as the US was not a country approved for the import of live animals from at the time.

Netanel Isaac, the director general of the Ministry of Jerusalem Affairs and Heritage, delivered a speech in honour of the heifers’ arrival at Ben Gurion airport in September 2022 and admitted that the ministry has been funding the development of the Mount of Olives area where the ceremony is planned.

The Ministry of Agriculture, the Temple Institute and evangelical Christian group Boneh Israel did not respond to Al Jazeera’s requests for comment before publication.

In a video from January posted on Boneh Israel’s website, Michael Samuel Smith, a Christian preacher working to bring forth the temple prophecy, said the red heifers they have been raising in Shiloh have come of sacrificial age.

“This is the first time in nearly 2,000 years a successful red heifer has come about,” Smith said in the video. “It is still our opinion the first successful red heifer sacrifice will take place in the spring of 2024 around the Passover to Pentecost timeframe.

“We believe God is going to reveal himself through the efforts of this future event. It is truly a sign of the times, most especially for Jews in Israel.”

Passover will be towards the end of April while Pentecost is in mid-May.

Aviv Tatarsky, a senior Ir Amim researcher, told Al Jazeera that in Jewish religious texts, a lot of the details around sacrificing and burning a red heifer are ambiguous.

“What is this ceremonial burning? What exactly is a red heifer? This is not at all clear or known because the last time this was done, it was done when there was a Jewish temple 2,000 years ago,” Tatarsky explained.

“[I]t’s not 100 percent clear. Until recently, there were some extreme and fringe people who were working on it, but very few people took it seriously,” he added.

‘Detestable religious myth’?

Defending Al-Aqsa is an important mission for Palestinian Muslims, worshippers and armed fighters alike.

In a speech marking 100 days of Israel’s war on Gaza which started after the “Al-Aqsa Flood” attack by Palestinian armed fighters from Gaza, Qassam Brigades spokesperson Abu Obeida said the red heifers are a concern, and the potential sacrifice is a “detestable religious myth designed for aggression against the feelings of an entire nation”.

Tatarsky sees that the real “danger”, of the Temple Movement is that it has “worked against Muslim freedom of worship” and has consistently been “trying to create some kind of Jewish control” over Al-Aqsa, backed by the Israeli government.

The Temple Movement says it plans to build the temple “within years”, according to Ir Amim. Still, Tatarsky said he does not believe the red heifer ceremony or the construction of the temple will happen “any time soon”.

He added that, despite state support for a Jewish presence in Al-Aqsa,  he does not believe there is strong enough backing from the government for a group to try to destroy Al-Aqsa, which is subject to numerous agreements and regulations.

As for the heifer sacrifice, “they need recognition of a very wide public and of decision-makers and all kinds of important rabbis. If they just do it [in April], it won’t be recognised, and all their effort will be for nothing.

“I don’t underestimate the danger of these groups. … [but] building the temple means a completely different Israel from today.”

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Can’t Find Eclipse Glasses? Here’s What to Do.

You can watch a projection of the eclipse using some common household items.

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By Katrina Miller

Follow our live updates on the total solar eclipse .

Reliable paper-framed glasses are by far the most popular option for safely watching the total solar eclipse on Monday. But they’ve gotten more difficult to find in some places ahead of the event.

If you’ve checked everywhere — your local planetarium, public library and even online — fear not: There is still a way to watch the eclipse safely, using items around the house. Here are a few options.

Use your hands

Palms up, position one hand over the other at a 90-degree angle. Open your fingers slightly in a waffle pattern, and allow sunlight to stream through the spaces onto the ground, or another surface. During the eclipse, you will see a projection of the moon obscuring the surface of the sun.

This method works with anything with holes, such as a straw hat, a strainer, a cheese grater or even a perforated spoon. You will also notice this effect when light from the partially eclipsed sun streams through leaves on a tree.

Set up a cardstock screen

For this option, you need a couple of white index cards or two sheets of cardstock paper. First, punch a small hole in the middle of one of the cards using a thumbtack or a pin.

Then, facing away from the sun, allow light to stream through this pinhole. Position the second card underneath to function as a screen. Adjust the spacing between the two cards to make the projection of the sun larger or smaller.

Make a box projector

If you’re up for a bit of crafting, you can make a more sophisticated pinhole projector . Start with a cardboard box — empty cereal boxes are often used, but you can use a larger box, too. You’ll also need scissors, white paper, tape, aluminum foil and a pin or thumbtack.

Cut the piece of paper to fit the inside bottom of the cardboard box to act as a screen. Use tape to hold it in place.

On the top of the box, cut two rectangular holes on either side. (The middle should be left intact — you can use tape to secure this if needed.)

Tape a piece of aluminum foil over one of the rectangular cutouts. Punch a tiny hole in the middle of the foil with the tack or pin. The other cutout will serve as a view hole.

With your back to the sun, position the foil side of the box over your shoulder, letting light stream through the pinhole. An image of the sun will project onto the screen at the bottom of the box, which you can see through the view hole. A bigger box will create a bigger image.

Enjoy the show through any of these makeshift pinholes. And remember, during totality, you can view the sun directly with your naked eye. But you should stop looking at the sun as soon as it reappears.

Katrina Miller is a science reporting fellow for The Times. She recently earned her Ph.D. in particle physics from the University of Chicago. More about Katrina Miller