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Definition of condolence

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Condolence and Condolences

When used in the singular, condolence generally refers to sympathetic sorrow, and particularly sorrow with regard to the loss of life. It is used when speaking indirectly of that shared sorrow:

After the 1985 Bradford stadium fire, during the Prime Minister's visit of condolence to the city, . . . — William Leith, The Independent (London), 25 Nov. 1990

and often in a modifying position:

Still, although I felt for him, I barely knew the guy. Would it be inappropriate to pay a condolence call? Did they want their privacy? — Alan Gelb, The New York Times Magazine , 7 Jan. 1990 Last week, people around the world showed their support for Russia. They held candlelight vigils, sent condolence letters and signed memory books. — Jeremy Caplan, TIME for Kids , 17 Sept. 2004

The plural condolences , on the other hand, is often used specifically for an expression of sympathy, and most often appears in the construction my condolences , which is used to communicate sympathy. While condolences is often used to share sorrow over a death:

The prime minister of the day attended Hardy's funeral. . . . King George V and the Prince of Wales telegraphed their condolences. — Terry Eagleton, Harper’s , November 2007

it can also be used of anything perceived of as a misfortune:

The odds of getting Apert syndrome are about the same as getting killed by lightning: 1 in 100,000. Indeed, for his family, Nate's birth was a lightning bolt: it came from the blue and was a shock to the system. Instead of getting congratulatory notes, the couple got condolences. Bella English, Boston Globe , 1 Oct. 2000 Within mere hours of Ted Lambros's rejection for tenure at Harvard, communications began to pour in from every important university center of the United States. Some were simply to express condolences. — Erich Segal, The Class , 1985

Condolences is sometimes used humorously, whereas condolence is not:

Tell someone you're from Buffalo, and you get the Look: If pity and condescension got it on, this is the baby they'd make. Something in the eyes that offers condolences for everything from playing childhood games in a frozen tundropolis to four straight Super Bowl losses. — Nick Bakay, ESPN , 28 June 1999

Condolences is the more common form of the word, and should be used when expressing your sympathy at someone’s loss.

pity , compassion , commiseration , condolence , sympathy mean the act or capacity for sharing the painful feelings of another.

pity implies tender or sometimes slightly contemptuous sorrow for one in misery or distress.

compassion implies pity coupled with an urgent desire to aid or to spare.

commiseration suggests pity expressed outwardly in exclamations, tears, or words of comfort.

condolence applies chiefly to formal expression of grief to one who has suffered loss.

sympathy often suggests a tender concern but can also imply a power to enter into another's emotional experience of any sort.

Examples of condolence in a Sentence

These examples are programmatically compiled from various online sources to illustrate current usage of the word 'condolence.' Any opinions expressed in the examples do not represent those of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback about these examples.

Word History

see condole

1603, in the meaning defined at sense 1

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Cite this entry.

“Condolence.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/condolence. Accessed 3 Sep. 2024.

More from Merriam-Webster on condolence

Thesaurus: All synonyms and antonyms for condolence

Nglish: Translation of condolence for Spanish Speakers

Britannica English: Translation of condolence for Arabic Speakers

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60 Thoughtful Condolence Messages to Send to Family or Friends

Let these notes be a source of comfort for those mourning.

How to Write a Condolence Message

Condolence messages for a colleague, condolence messages for someone who lost a parent, condolence messages for someone who lost a spouse, condolence messages to someone who lost a sibling, condolence messages for someone who lost a child.

Expressing condolences is never a task one looks forward to, but it’s so important to show sympathy when someone in your life has lost a loved one. It can be difficult to find the right words to say to someone who is experiencing grief, but taking that extra step to acknowledge someone else’s hurt and pain through a handwritten note is a small gesture that shows thems that in the throws of grief, they aren’t alone.

“Handwritten notes are one of the most personal forms of communication,” says Tanea Smith, owner of She’s Got Papers , an online stationery boutique. “The recipient may forget the day you called or visited but your card is a keepsake. It will be kept and reread.”

Need some help putting pen to paper? Here are a few things to remember next time you go to write one.

Whether it’s a friend coping with the sudden loss of a spouse or a colleague whose mom recently passed, you can't go wrong expressing heartfelt sentiments, like the ones listed below, along with an authentic and a personal memory or anecdote. But more importantly, there are some things you shouldn’t do.

“Never write, ‘They're in a better place and there's no more pain,’” says Smith. “While you may feel this way, any phrase that brings attention to the death can produce more grief and sadness. You want your words to do the opposite, not highlighting the death but celebrating the life… just be sure to avoid writing things that could be upsetting or misinterpreted.”

Shirley Enebrad, an author and certified grief recovery specialist agrees. “Never make it about you and your experience with loss,” she says. “Focus on the griever and his or her feelings. Absolutely never say, "I know how you feel.” Additionally, it’s always best not to ask how you can help. “Do not ask them to contact you if they need anything,” Enebrad says.

Also, remember to send your sympathy card within the first couple of weeks. However, if you miss that opportunity, it’s never too late. In fact, it might have a positive impact on the grieving recipient who may feel like everyone has moved on while they’re still grappling with their loss.

Condolence Messages for a Friend

• “I know there are no words that can ease your pain. Just know that I’ll always be here for you no matter what.”
• “Thinking of you during this difficult time.”
• “Sending healing prayers and comfort during this tough time.”
• “You’re not alone. I’m here to be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to anything that you may want to share.”
• “My heart goes out to you for the loss of your dear friend. I know how much she meant to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.”
• “I cannot imagine the pain and heartache you’re feeling. I am praying for your peace and comfort.”
• “Losing someone so close is so hard. I will be here to support you at any time and any hour. Sending you so much love.
• “I know that grief comes in waves. That’s why I intend to be with you throughout this difficult journey.”
• “Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take your time and know that you have my full support.”
• “I recall how much time you two spent together. You were virtually inseparable. May all your wonderful memories comfort you during this heartbreaking time.”

• “Thinking of you and your family as you celebrate the life of your beloved.”
• “May your happy memories give you peace and comfort during this challenging time.”
• “I am sharing in your sadness as you remember your loved one.”
• “Praying for you during this difficult time. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.”
• “Deepest condolences to you and your family for your loss.”
• “Words cannot express how saddened we are to learn of your loss. Please take your time. We are all here for you.”
• “My heartfelt sympathy to you and yours at this sad time.”
• “Please accept my sincere condolences.”
• “My heart breaks for you. I’m here to listen to any stories you may want to share about your loved one.”
• “I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your mom, but I’m sure she was a special person because she raised an amazing human being: you. Wishing you peace and comfort during this unimaginable time.”
• “Your dad’s amazing personality lives on through you. Sending you love during this difficult time.”
• “There is no one in this world like your mother. She was a special person, and she will always be with you.”
• “Your mother will forever remain in our hearts and memories.”
• “Your father was such an inspiration in my life —I’ll never forget the valuable lessons he taught me.”
• “Nothing I can say will take away the pain you’re experiencing. Just want you to know that I care about you, and I share in your sadness.”
• “May you look back on the precious memories and find peace in knowing that your father raised an amazing person.”
• “A mother’s love is eternal. Hold on to that infinite love and let it be your guiding light.”
• “I will always cherish the wonderful memories I have with your dad. He will be forever missed.”
• “From what I’ve heard, your mother was a phenomenal woman. What good memories you must have. Lean on them to remind you of the joy she brought into your life”
• “I’m a firm believer that when we lose someone close to us, like a father, they continue to live on through us and give us unbelievable strength. They’re so connected to us that they become a part of us.”

• “Love never dies. Your wife’s love for you is everlasting.”
• “Your husband was such a wonderful man. He was also an outstanding partner who will live in our hearts and memories forever.”
• “No words can express how sorry I am for the loss of your wife. I didn’t know her personally, but I know how much you loved her, and I am here for you.”
• “I know your husband must’ve been an amazing man because you always beamed with pride whenever you spoke of him. Sending you an abundance of love.”
• “It was such a privilege and honor to work with your wife. She was an incredibly smart and thoughtful woman. May her memory live on forever.”
• “I’ll always admire the love shared between you and your husband. You shared a one-of-kind bond that can never be broken.”
• “I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved partner. You complemented each other like no other couple I know. May your precious memories bring you comfort.”
• “I was incredibly saddened to hear about the passing of your dear wife. She was always so thoughtful and kind. She will truly be missed.”
• “Your partner was such a special person. They will live in my heart forever.”
• “Someone who shared so much life with you will always be a part of you. Bonds like yours are forever.”
• "Your sister/brother was such an important part of your life, and her/his loss is felt deeply by so many. Please accept my sincerest condolences."
• "Your sister/brother will always be remembered for the amazing person she was. May her/his memory bring you comfort and peace."
• "Your sister/brother's spirit will live on through all the lives she/he touched. She/he was an incredible person and will be greatly missed."
• "Losing a sibling is never easy, but please know that you have a friend in me who will always be there for you."
• "Please know that you are in my dearest thoughts and prayers. I hope that you find comfort in the memories you shared with your sister/brother."
• "Your sister/brother's memory will always live on through the love she/he shared with others. May her/his light continue to shine on through you."
• "I was both shocked and saddened to hear about the loss of your brother/sister. She/he was an incredible friend and I know the best sibling anyone could ask for. Please accept my sincerest condolences for your loss."
• "Hearing about your sister/brother’s unexpected passing has left me heartbroken for you. No one is ever prepared to say goodbye under such tragic circumstances. Stay strong and lean on loved ones who can offer comfort during this unimaginably painful time. You are not alone."
• "The world has lost a good man, and you have lost a brother. This is a loss for all of us, but the grief and sorrow that you feel are the deepest and most poignant and personal. Please reach out if there's any way we can help."
• "I didn't know your sister, but I'd like to know more about her. If you ever want to remember her or share, I would like to hear about who she was and your times together."

• "There are no words that can express the depth of sorrow I feel for your loss. Your precious daughter/son's memory will forever remain in our hearts."
• "From our family to yours, we cannot tell you how much we are going to miss (insert child's name). She/he was truly an incredible child that we feel honored to have known."
• "I pray that as the months and years pass, you find peace in the beautiful memories you created together as a family. She will live on in your hearts."
• "I so appreciate you opening up to me about your miscarriage. I know I can't do anything to make this better, but I am here for you for whatever you need at anytime."
• "The loss of a child is a pain that words cannot heal. I offer my heartfelt condolences and hope that the cherished moments you shared will bring you some comfort."
• "Although I never met (insert child's name), I've heard just how incredible she/he was. I hope you do not hesitate to reach out for anything that you need during this time.
• "I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. Please know that my heart aches for you and your family during this unimaginable time of grief."
• "During this time of grief, may you find solace in the love and memories you shared with your son/daughter. Her/he spirit lives on in the lives she/he touched."
• "Your daughter/son had an incredible impact on the world in his short time here. She/he will always be remembered and cherished."
• "I offer my deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved daughter/son. Her/his time with us was too short, but her/his impact was immeasurable."

Karla Pope is a longtime writer, editor and blogger with nearly two decades of editorial experience. She’s written for a variety of outlets including Good Housekeeping , Woman’s Day , People , Parade , BET.com. WebMD and more. Her coverage includes entertainment, beauty, lifestyle, parenting and fashion content. If she's not exploring New York City with her two young children, you can find her curled up on the couch watching a documentary and eating gummy bears. 

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How to write a condolence message: 60+ examples & tips.

We've all been there. Someone's friend or family member passes away, and we want to be supportive and show understanding. But we don't know exactly what to say or what to do, and we're left feeling awkward and a bit stuck.

It can be challenging to know just what to say to someone who has lost a loved one, but most people who have experienced a death appreciate hearing from friends and loved ones. We spoke with grief experts whose advice can help us find the right words to write heartfelt sympathy notes and condolence messages.

Writing a condolence message.

A condolence message can take many forms but is understood to be an expression of sympathy when someone dies. Letting a person who has just experienced a loss know that you are thinking of them in their time of need and that you care often means a great deal.

There is no social rule about who can send a condolence message. If you are close with the bereaved, are only an acquaintance, and even when you don't know the relatives but knew the deceased, sending a condolence message is an appropriate way to convey your sympathy and is a thoughtful way to show you care.

When to reach out.

Depending on how close you are to the person experiencing the loss, condolence messages are usually sent as soon as you learn about the death of their loved one . However, it is also appropriate to send a condolence message within a few days of the memorial service or funeral.

The best time to reach out will depend on your relationship, according to both licensed psychologist Laura Louis, Ph.D. , and grief and trauma therapist Ajita Robinson, Ph.D., LCPC .

"Are you a close friend who was notified directly? In that case, reaching out and showing up is appropriate in most instances because the relationship already makes room for this level of 'presence' or involvement," says Robinson. Louis says you can and should reach out immediately when you first find out the loss has occurred. They may or may not respond right away, but they'll know you're there for them.

Louis also recommends reaching out a few weeks after the loss has occurred or a few weeks after the funeral. "As a psychologist, I find that the weeks and months after the funeral is oftentimes when people need the most support because at that point most family and friends have left town," she tells mbg.

"Most importantly, when you reach out, try to understand that the bereaved person(s) is not obligated to respond," Robinson adds. "They are overwhelmed and may not have words to describe what they are feeling or what they need." 

What kind of condolence messages are acceptable to send, and in what way? Is calling appropriate, is texting too informal, or do we send a traditional condolence card? The short answer is, there is no right or wrong way to send a condolence message if the message is heartfelt and supportive.

"Methods of reaching out depend on the level of closeness of the relationship," Louis says.

The general "when and how" to reach out goes like this: If you are a family member or close friend, call or text immediately, and then visit the bereaved at home and either stay with them for as long as you can or be in touch on a daily basis.

If you are social friends or acquaintances who aren't as close, send an email or a text as soon as you find out and reach out again after the "business" of the funeral has ended. If you are work colleagues or knew the deceased but not the relatives, you can send an email or traditional handwritten note or condolence card as soon as you learn of the passing.

According to Robinson, the method of sharing your condolence message is less important than the expectations we have around it and what we say and do when we communicate. "If someone is in the immediate aftermath of a loss, they may not be available (mentally or physically) to answer phone calls, and it certainly is not a time to ask questions that haven't readily been answered such as 'what happened,'" she says.

How to write a condolence message.

There are different kinds of condolence messages for different situations. For instance, what you write in a sympathy note to someone who has lost a friend will differ from the condolence message you write for someone who has lost a family member or partner. The message will also differ depending upon who the recipient is in relation to you.

Below, Robinson and Louis breakdown some examples of where to start your condolence messages and some actions you can take depending upon the situation.

Condolence messages for a friend.

• [Name], I am so sorry that your [parent, sister , cousin, nephew, etc.]­ died. I am thinking of you and your family.
• I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I am always here for you, and I am sending you love and strength during this distressing time.
• I will check in on you, and it's totally OK if you can't respond.
• I am thinking about you and sending my heartfelt sympathies and condolences.
• Although I don't know what you are feeling right now, I do understand what it's like to lose a [friend/family member/etc.].
• Losing a loved one is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It feels like a cloud has cast a shadow over you. Please know it won’t always be that way. The clouds will clear, and the sun will shine again. When you need some sunlight, I will never be far away. You have my deepest condolences.
• Saying goodbye to someone as important as [insert name] is devastating. Although I cannot replace [him/her/them/etc.], I am here to support you with hugs, a shoulder to cry on, and the reminder that you are not alone.
• My heartfelt condolences for the loss of your [friend/family member/etc.]. May you find comfort in remembering the special moments that brightened your days throughout the years. I hope you allow all the memories you shared to shine in remembrance for years to come.
• As your friend, I wish that I could protect you from anything that might make you sad. Sadly, I cannot protect you from the devastating effects of losing someone so special to you. But I can offer a smile when you need it, a thoughtful ear if you would like to talk, and a hug if you need some comfort. Know that I am thinking of you, and I am very sorry for your loss.
• I am here for you and hope you know that I care deeply about what you are going through and how you are feeling.
• I’m here to support you, no matter what time of day it is. Thinking of you always and sharing my deepest sympathies with you as you go through this hardship.

Condolence messages for a family member.

• [Name], I am so sad to hear that [name] died. I am thinking of you and [names of other affected family members]. I hope that you feel wrapped in love and support. 
• Learning of [Name]'s passing was gut-wrenching. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are finding strength in your family and the love of your friends; please know we are here for you.
• It is my prayer that our shared memories of [name] will bring comfort during this time.
• Remember you are not alone.
• We will be on our way shortly to help with [tasks, rituals, etc.]
• Know that you are a credit to [name]'s memory. I am sure that [he/she/they/etc.] would be thinking of you fondly and with pride for who you are and how you live your life.
• I am here for you. We'll get through this together.
• My heart is with you during this time of loss and in the days to come.
• You must have so many memories of [name] that you cherish. Their life is an important story to tell. I can help you/us create a journal or scrapbook in celebration of [name] so you/we can always have those memories to comfort you/us.
• I am incredibly sorry to hear that you lost someone that was so special to you, and I know you are in pain. I am here to help ease your burden and support you in whatever way you need. 

Condolence messages for the loss of a partner.

• I tried to find the right words to express just how sorry I am for your loss. Words just don't seem like enough. I'm so sorry.
• I am so sorry that you've lost your life partner, [Name]. I can't imagine how much pain and sorrow you're feeling. I know you will need to grieve their loss and the life you thought you would have together. Although it isn't the same, know that you are not alone as you figure out what life after the loss of [name] looks like. 
• I wish that I could ease your pain and help you heal. I hope that this message at least lets you know that I am thinking of you always. My heartfelt sympathies go out to you in this difficult time.
• In times of sorrow, it is not always easy to see the light. If I can help you find a glimmer by giving thanks for the gift that was the life of [name], please know that is what I am trying to do. [Name] was a truly special person, and I am so grateful that you had [him/her/them/etc.] in your life. May [he/she/they/etc.] be at peace.
• Reentering the world can be hard during times of loss. I will take those first few steps with you and help you move forward. We can travel the way forward together. I send my deepest condolences and sympathies for your loss.
• Grief is so personal and a unique experience for each one of us. Feelings can arise without warning at the sound of a favorite song, picture, or special place. It can be overwhelming when that happens. If you ever feel like talking about your feelings or have these experiences, I am here to share in your grief and support you through it.
• If you need a friend, I am here for you. If you need quiet, I am happy to be your peace. If you need to talk, I am listening. If you want to be alone, I can wait. Please know that someone is ready to help and thinking of you as you grieve.
• It's difficult to imagine moving on with life after losing someone so close to you. I know that you may just want to shut out the world and retreat. Just know that I can be a shoulder for you to lean on, and I am here for you.

Religious messages. 

For loved ones who find strength in their faith, it can be useful to find passages from religious texts or prayers for healing and recovery in light of a tragedy.

• I will keep you in my prayers as you go through this tough time.
• I am sorry to hear the loss of your loved one. May the Good Lord bless you and keep you and give you inner peace as you face this trying time.
• It's my prayer that God's words bring you comfort during this difficult time.
• May God comfort you and bring you healing for the pain of losing a loved one. Please accept our heartfelt condolences.
• Life without your beloved [insert name] will never quite be the same. We pray that God will comfort your heart and fill your soul with love and peace.
• Praying for you and your family during this challenging time. I hope you feel the power of God's love and presence in your lives.
• "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." John 11:25,26
• "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5 

Messages to offer help.

Try to avoid saying "call me if you need me" or "what do you need" because the bereaved will not ask for your help, Louis says. Instead, show your love by giving specific offers:

• Please remember I am available day or night.
• I can pick up/drop off your kids.
• I can wash your clothes.
• What is your favorite dish? I would love to bring you some food.
• I know that life looks so different, and you're still figuring out a new normal. I am available to bring [food item] to you on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I remember that you love Taco Tuesdays. Does that work for you this Tuesday?
• I'm headed to the dry cleaners. I'll take your clothes too.
• I am going to the grocery store and will pick things up for you; let's make a list.

"The key to offering help is that it needs to be practical and doesn't add another task to the bereaved person's plate," Robinson adds. "Generic statements like 'I am here if you need anything' forces the bereaved person to make yet another decision that they likely won't have the capacity for."

Tips to keep in mind:

Manage your expectations..

"It is important to manage our expectations when we are reaching out to someone who is grieving," says Robinson. She says it's important not to get upset with them if they don't respond to your condolence message, respond in a timely manner, or if their response isn't aligned with what you were expecting.

Be a memory keeper.

Remind the bereaved person of what the person they lost stood for, their values, and the lessons they learned from them, says Louis, and encourage them to hold on to those things. Their lost loved one will continue to live on through them.

Consider actions instead of just words.

Keep in mind that messages are not always verbal. Behaviors can speak volumes, such as holding your friend's hand. Sleeping over can also be helpful, especially in situations where this may be the first time they have slept alone.

Be proactive with offering help.

Robinson recommends trying to avoid making generic offers like "call me if you need me" or "what do you need?"—because they likely will not ask for anything. When a friend is depressed , they may not have the energy for completing basic tasks, but at the same time, they likely don't want to be a burden or even know what to ask for, Robinson explains. That means, as a concerned friend who wants to help, it's important to be proactive with providing support instead of waiting to be asked, she says.

Offer specifics, Louis recommends, like bringing over food or groceries. Go over to do their laundry. Ask if they'd like you to sleep over for a night or two.

Expect and accept mood swings.

When a person is grieving, especially when they first experience loss, their emotions will be all over the map ; they may be fine one moment, and the next they are overcome by emotions. This is all part of the normal grieving process . The best thing you can do is to support them through the emotional highs and lows and give them the space to experience and express a full range of emotions.

Avoid giving advice.

It is best to avoid giving advice about what a grieving person "should or shouldn't do" in the situation. Advice during times of acute emotional distress, though nearly always well intentioned, sometimes has the unexpected outcome of making the bereaved person feel worse. A more effective approach would be to let them know you recognize their loss and you support how they feel and whatever actions they need to take to heal on their terms.

Listen without assumption.

Sometimes the best and only thing you can offer to someone who is grieving is a listening ear, says Louis. Assure the person that it is OK to talk about their feelings. Although you cannot erase the pain of their loss, you can provide a great deal of comfort just listening.

Don't pressure people to move on faster.

"While grief is universal, our expression and experience is individual and unique to each of us. We want to be mindful not to try to 'move' people along in their grief," Robinson advises. "Grief is a lifelong journey, which we often revisit because of holidays, anniversaries, and other milestone events. We never really move on from grief ; instead, we learn to move forward with it." 

Just be there.

"Just be there," says Louis. "Sometimes people think they need to have the right thing to say. You don't always need to talk. Sometimes your presence is enough."

There is no timeline for grief. People who are grieving need time to heal, so be patient and encouraging, and most importantly, be there.

What not to say in a sympathy card.

There are things you should not say in a sympathy card and subjects you will want to avoid. Even though well meaning, sometimes certain sentiments will backfire and not be taken as intended. Our experts offer some specific examples of language to avoid, including:

• God knows best.
• I know what you are feeling.
• God is going to give you more than what you lost.
• It's for the best.
• They are in a better place.
• It just takes time.
• You can always remarry. / You'll meet someone else.

The takeaway.

Writing condolence messages can be challenging when you are confronted with loss, pain, grief, and other difficult emotions. But these heartfelt messages are an effective way to show the people in your life that you are there for them and that you care about them. Feeling uplifted and supported by friends and family is often the first step on the path toward healing and learning to move forward after a loss.

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How to Write a Condolence Letter or Sympathy Note

When and how to show your sympathy in a letter

• When Not to Write
• Letter Components
• Sample Letter
• Sympathy Notes

A condolence letter is a note expressing your sympathy. It can be a great source of comfort for someone  grieving the loss of a loved one . A condolence letter is a simple but powerful gesture that lets someone know they're in your thoughts during a difficult time.

Finding the right words to say when  someone's mourning a death  can be hard. This article explains why you might want to write a condolence letter, offers basic guidelines to follow, and includes a sample note that you can reference when writing your own condolence letter.

Reasons to Write a Condolence Letter

It's easy to pick up a mass-produced sympathy card from a local store, but writing one with your own personal, heartfelt words is often more meaningful. A condolence card shows a person who is mourning that they matter to you. 

Taking the time to handwrite a letter can comfort someone who has lost a loved one. Writing a personal letter also gives you the chance to share a special memory you might have of the deceased. You can also take this time to offer to talk or help in the weeks and months ahead.

Condolence Letter vs. Sympathy Note

The difference between a condolence letter and a sympathy note is the length. For example, a note might be a few sentences, while letters could be a few paragraphs.

It's your choice which you choose to write and depends on your relationship with the person. You may find you start out writing a note and end up feeling the need to say a lot more.

Offer Support

Too often, people say, "Call me if you need me." While it may be well-meaning, offering help in this way puts the burden of calling on the person who is grieving.

Instead, be specific about how you can lend a hand. For example, you might write, "Can I bring dinner over next Wednesday?" or "I'd love to mow your lawn next week."

Stay in Touch

Many people find that they are surrounded by love in the days surrounding their loss, but as the weeks and months go on, they become more alone and isolated in their grieving.

In the first few weeks following a loved one's death, it's not uncommon for people to feel like they're still mourning, but everyone else seems to have forgotten. In addition to writing a condolence note right after a person has died, you may want to note on your calendar a time to follow up. For example, you might want to send another note or call in a couple of months to check in with the person who is grieving. 

So, in addition to writing an initial condolence note, you may also wish to mark your calendar for, say three months and six months from now. Then, you can make contact again.

When Not to Write a Letter

Condolence letters can be a great comfort to people who have experienced a loss, but it’s not always appropriate for you to send one. You need to think about your relationship with the person who died as well as their loved ones. 

For example, a lengthy condolence letter could be too personal if you were barely acquainted and don’t know their loved ones at all. In some cases (for example, after the death of a coworker), a short note might do.

You also need to be honest about and respect what your relationship was like. If it was complicated or negative, a condolence letter could feel intrusive. To avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable, you could honor the person’s memory in a less personal way—for example, anonymously contributing to a memory fund they’ve set up or sending flowers to the funeral home.

A study looking at people who died in the intensive care unit found that sympathy letters written by a healthcare provider did not reduce their loved ones’ grief. In fact, it actually made their  depression symptoms worse.

Condolence Letter Guidelines

Deciding to write a letter is often easier than actually writing it. Here are some tips on when, where, and how to write and send a condolence letter.

When to Write

Try to write and send your sympathy letter as soon as possible — ideally, within the first two weeks after a person dies. 

If you've passed that time, still write a note. It may even be extra helpful to loved ones who are still grieving even though they feel like the rest of the world has forgotten or “moved on” from a person’s death.

How to Write

Don’t pressure yourself to write the note you’re going to send on your first try. You can do a few practice runs until it feels right.

Here are a few tips for writing a condolence letter:

• Handwrite your note. Personally written notes are rare in today's world of emails and texts and can be especially meaningful to someone who is going through something painful and might be feeling alone in the world. Use stationery or nice paper to write your note. 
• Put a letter inside a card. If you want to use a store-bought card, tuck your handwritten letter inside the card. If the card has enough space, you can write your note inside it. 
• Be authentic. Write your letter in your own voice, reflecting how you would normally talk to the person. You don’t need to get fancy or try to come up with a poem or verse. That said, you might find that reading quotations about grief, loss, or mourning can serve as inspiration as you’re trying to find your own words.

6 Components of a Condolence Letter

Condolence letters have six parts.

• Acknowledge the loss. When you’re talking about the person who died, refer to them by name. It can be comforting for the person’s family to see and hear their loved one’s name. Don’t skirt around death or use a euphemism (remember, the person you’re writing to knows that their loved one has died).
• Express your sympathy. "I'm sorry for your loss" is a common expression used to show sympathy. It works because it’s clear and honest.
• Note a special quality. Sharing something positive about the person who has died—for example, a talent or skill—helps make the note more personal. 
• Include a memory. If you have a favorite memory of the person who has died, sharing it with their loved ones can help them build up their own memory stores.
• Remind the bereaved of their own strengths. A grieving person may feel lost, helpless, or alone. Try to remind them of their own qualities that can help them cope during this hard time, such as their faith, optimism, or resiliency.
• Offer to help. "Let me know if I can help" is too vague. Instead, offer a practical and specific thing you can do—for example, “I can stop by on Tuesday night to bring dinner for your family."
• End with a hopeful, thoughtful sign-off. Avoid using the standard sign-offs at the end of your letter, such as "sincerely," "love," or “fondly." Instead, end with active, hopeful thoughts like "with you in prayer each moment," "you are in my thoughts," or "I will always be here to support you." These statements reflect your ongoing sympathy and support. 

How to Deliver

Funeral or burial services  typically take place within the first couple of weeks after a person dies. 

If you will be going to the service, you can bring your condolence letter with you. There is often a basket or collection box for sympathy cards at the service.

You can mail your note, but remember that many tasks have to be done following a death . Therefore, a deceased person’s loved one may not open your note right away. 

Putting a sympathy card in a basket at a memorial service allows them to read through condolences at a time they feel ready.

A Sample Condolence Letter

Here’s a sample condolence letter to help you organize your thoughts. 

You do not need to follow the template exactly. You may only want to use parts of it. You can reorganize, add, or delete sections as you write your letter.

Dear _____________,

[ Acknowledge the loss and refer to the deceased by name] I was deeply saddened to hear about the death of _____________.

[ Express your sympathy] I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you, but please know that I care about you. (Keep in mind, you really have no idea how the person is feeling, and they will find comfort in knowing that you are aware of that).

[Note one or more of the deceased's special qualities] ____________ was such a kind, gentle soul who would _________ [example: …help lift someone’s spirits, help a friend in need, help a child, etc…]

[ Include your favorite memory] I remember the time that _________________. 

[ Offer to help the survivor in a specific way] Maybe you could use your scrapbooking talent to make a memory book of _________________? If you would like, I can come over on [suggested date, time] to help you put it together. I have some wonderful pictures of _______________ that I'd love to share with you as well as several personal memories of how they [example: …helped my family].

[End with a thoughtful hope, wish, or sympathy expression] [Name] was so loved and will be missed by so many. 

Please know that I will always be here to support you,

[ Sign your name ] _____________________ 

How to Write a Sympathy Note

A handwritten sympathy note is a shorter version of a condolence letter. It can be just as meaningful and is often a nice touch to include inside a sympathy card.

When writing a condolence note, pick just a few elements from the steps to writing a condolence letter. For example:

• Acknowledge the loss and refer to the deceased by name
• Express your sympathy
• Note one or more of the deceased's special qualities
• End with a thoughtful hope, wish, or a genuine expression of sympathy

A condolence letter is a way to express your sympathy and offer support to loved ones after someone dies. However, think about your relationship with the person who has died and their loved ones. In some cases, it might be better to just write a shorter sympathy note. 

Don’t feel pressured to get too fancy. Heartfelt words and specific offers of help will be welcomed by people who are grieving. While you want to try to get your letter to your loved ones within the first couple of weeks after a person dies, you can still send it later. 

Letters or other check-ins that come in the months after a person has died are often reassuring and comforting for loved ones who might be feeling that the world has forgotten or moved on after a person’s death. 

You can use a few or none of the components shown above in your sympathy letter. The most important thing is that you write from your heart.

Kentish-Barnes N, Chevret S, Champigneulle B, et al. Effect of a condolence letter on grief symptoms among relatives of patients who died in the ICU: a randomized clinical trial . Intensive Care Med . 2017;43(4):473-484. doi:10.1007/s00134-016-4669-9

St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. How to write a condolence letter .

By Angela Morrow, RN Angela Morrow, RN, BSN, CHPN, is a certified hospice and palliative care nurse.

Expressing Condolences: 200+ Messages That Get It Right

Kate is an experienced writer who has written hundreds of articles for publication.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

If you're not sure what to say when sending condolences, you aren't alone. Many people struggle to express their support when a friend or acquaintance is grieving. The key to offering heartfelt condolence messages is focusing on the person who will be receiving your comfort, whether you're sending a condolence text, writing a card, making a phone call, or seeing them in person. Offering condolences is one of the most delicate and also the most important social interactions you can have with someone, but these examples will help you know what to say when someone needs you the most.

Expressing Condolences in Person

If you're attending a funeral or memorial service or if you're visiting a friend who has recently experienced a loss, you need to be able to offer your condolences in person. It's important that you take a moment to think about the person in front of you as you do this, not just this person's relationship with the deceased. When someone dies, people can feel unmoored by grief. They can lose track of themselves. Your goal in offering in-person condolences is to acknowledge this person in front of you during this incredibly difficult time in their life.

• Simple and Sincere Things to Say When Someone Dies
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What to Say to Close Friends and Family

If you know someone very well, your support is going to be instrumental in helping them through this difficult time. If it feels appropriate, offer a hug or a touch on the arm. Use the person's name and make eye contact as you speak. You can mention the person's relationship with the deceased if you want, but you can also keep it more general. Try a version of one of these condolence messages:

• "I love you, Aunt Joan. I know this is incredibly difficult. I'm here in any way you need."
• "You're a strong, amazing friend, Sarah. I know this isn't easy. Please know I'm here."
• "Aaron, you're amazing, and your dad was really proud of you. This is such a hard time. I'm here."
• "I love you, Ella, and I know your grandma did, too. It's really hard to lose someone special."
• "Stan, your mom was an incredible person, and you are too. I know you're hurting right now. Please know I'm here if you need me."
• "Sally, you are a good friend. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm here."
• "Emma, I know how hard this must be. You're incredibly strong, but if you need any help at all, I'm here."
• "Zara, your dad was amazing, and he was so proud of you. I'm so sorry."
• "Samantha, you have been such a comfort to your mom over these last few months. I'm so sorry for your loss."
• "I didn't know your dad, Eric, but he must have been incredible to have raised you. I'm so sorry."
• "Uncle Sam, your relationship with Aunt Judith was such an inspiration to everyone who knew you. I'm here if I can help in any way."
• "Mike, you were such a good friend to Steve. He spoke about you often. Please let me know if I can help."

What to Say to Acquaintances and Co-Workers

If you're attending a funeral or memorial service of someone you knew but don't know the surviving family very well, you can offer meaningful condolences that show you cared about the person who has died. Keep your introduction brief and focus on the deceased's connection to those who are left behind.

• "I worked with your dad. He was an amazing person, and I know he was really proud of you."
• "Jim, your grandpa bragged about you all the time. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now."
• "I knew your grandma from church, and she was always showing me photos of you. I know she loved you very much. I'm sorry you're missing her now."
• "Your mom kept so many photos of you on her desk at work, and she loved sharing details about you with us. You meant so much to her. I'm really sorry for your loss."
• "I bowled with your husband for the past ten years, and he always made us laugh so hard. We're really going to miss him. I'm so sorry for your loss."
• "Everyone at work loved hearing your mom's stories about the grandkids. Her family was so important to her. We were really sorry to hear about her passing."
• "Even though we've never met, Sam said such beautiful things about you. You were clearly the love of his life. I'm so sorry for your loss."
• "Sally loved to tell the story of how you met, and her face just lit up when she talked about you. I'm so sorry."
• "On my first day at work, your dad was bragging to everyone about how you got into the University of Michigan. He was so proud of you. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know."
• "I worked nights at the care center where your grandpa lived, and he and I used to sit and chat sometimes. You were his favorite subject to talk about, and I know he loved you so much. I'm so sorry for your loss."
• "Your uncle was in my camera club, and he loved showing photos he took of you and your siblings. His family was so important to him. I'm really sorry for your loss."
• "I volunteered with your mom at the food bank, and she was such a caring woman. She loved talking about you and your brother. I'm so sorry."

Offering Condolences by Phone

A phone call is another good way to offer condolences and show you care. Talking on the phone to someone grieving the loss of a loved one will depend on how well you know the person. In general, you should keep the conversation short and take your cues from the person you're calling. Often, you'll find you may need to leave a message, since the person may not be picking up calls.

What to Say to Good Friends and Family

Calling a good friend or family member is an excellent way to show your support, especially if you don't live nearby or if you want to let them know you're thinking of them immediately after the loss. Your call can be an offer to listen or an immediate offer of support with funeral arrangements or anything else. Here are some phone condolence examples for different situations, including the loss of a spouse, a parent, and a friend:

• "Hi, Uncle Steve. I just wanted to call to tell you how sorry Sarah and I were to hear about Aunt Jane's passing. We'd like to take care of making a photo slideshow for her memorial. Would that be okay?"
• "Hi, Jim. I was so sad to hear about Linda's passing. I know what a comfort you were to her during this time. I just wanted to let you know I'm here if you'd like to talk."
• "Hi, Ellen. I was so sorry to hear about your dad. I know this is a really hard time, and Emily and I were thinking we could help out with the kids this week while you're planning the memorial service."
• "Hi, Erick. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I just wanted to call and let you know I'm thinking of you. How are you holding up?"
• "Hi, Mike. I heard about Tracy, and I just wanted to give you a call. You did such an incredible job caring for her during the past few months, and I know this is such a hard time for you. How are you doing?"
• "Hi, Skylar. I heard about your mom, and I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Can we drop off dinner on Tuesday?"

What to Say to Acquaintances and Colleagues

In many cases, you'll be leaving a message for people you don't know especially well. Keep your condolences short and meaningful, and keep offers of help specific. Here are some example phone condolences:

• "Hi, Jeff. I knew your mom from church, and I was really sorry to hear about her passing. She spoke of you so often. Could I drop off some lasagna on Tuesday?"
• "Hi, Emily. I work with Brandon, and I just wanted to let you know everyone here at the office is thinking of you and the kids. Can we help with the flower arrangements for the funeral?"
• "Hi, Mr. Smith. I heard about your daughter, and I wanted to offer my condolences. We'd like to put together a scholarship fund in her name if that's okay with you."
• "Hi, Evan. I work with your dad, and I just feel so lucky I got to know him. I just wanted to call to offer my condolences. If you need any help with anything involving his work, please don't hesitate to reach out."
• "Hi, Eleanor. I just wanted to call to tell you how sorry I was to hear about your husband. Would it be okay if we donated to a charity in his name?"
• "Hi, Eric. I taught school with your dad for twenty years, and he talked about you all the time. My wife and I were wondering if we could drop off a meal for you and your mom next week. Would Tuesday be okay?"

Sending Your Condolences by Text

Knowing what to say in a sympathy text can be challenging, since texting can easily feel impersonal. However, it's also a really good way to immediately show how much you care, and it doesn't require the other person to respond in detail.

What to Text Grieving Friends and Family

A condolence text shows you're thinking of the person you care about and offering support in the moment of their loss. In general, you should follow your text up with a sympathy card, flowers, or attending the funeral. Here are some example condolence texts you could use:

• "I'm so sorry to hear about your mom passing. I'm thinking of you right now, and I'll be in touch in the coming days. Please reach out if you need anything at all."
• "I'm saddened to hear about your brother. I know this is an incredibly difficult time, so please know I'm here to help in any way I can."
• "I'm so sorry, Erin. My mom just told me the news. Please know I'm thinking of you."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about Uncle Phil. He was such a funny, wonderful guy. Please let me know if I can do anything to help with the memorial."
• "I'm thinking of you today, my friend. This is an incredibly hard time. Call me anytime you want to talk."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, my friend. I can't even imagine what a difficult time this is. I'll be checking in soon, but please reach out if you need anything at all or just want to talk."
• "Oh, Sara. I'm so sorry to hear about Steve. Please know I'm thinking of you and will be checking in soon. You guys were an inspiration, and I want to help in any way I can."
• "Callie, I'm so sorry about your dad. My mom just told me. He was such a wonderful guy, and I can't even begin to describe how much we're all going to miss him. I'll be checking in, but please, please call if there's anything you need."
• "Lewis, I heard about Shirly's passing, and I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. You guys had an amazing relationship. Please let me know if I can help with planning or anything else."
• "Grandma, I just heard about Fluffy. I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you, and I'll give you a call in a day or two. I love you."
• "Caleb, I want you to know I'm thinking about you today. I'm so sorry about Steve's passing. I'll be checking in, but don't hesitate to ask if you need anything at all."
• "I'm sorry about your grandma. She loved you so much, and I know this is a really difficult time. I'll be checking in, but give me a call if there's anything I can do."

What to Text Grieving Acquaintances and Co-Workers

If you don't know someone well but want to show you're thinking of them during a time of loss, a condolence text can be a good option. Keep it brief, and follow up with a card or flowers. Here are some example sympathy texts to get you started:

• "I was so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm thinking of you during this difficult time."
• "I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you during this time. If there's anything at all I can do, please don't hesitate to ask."
• "We're all thinking of you today. Please take all the time you need to grieve. We'll check in in the next few days."
• "I was so sorry to hear about Mittens. We'll miss having him around the office. Please know everyone is thinking of you."
• "I can't image how it feels to lose your brother, and I'm at a loss for words. Please know I'm thinking of you, and I'll be checking in."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about your partner's passing. Please accept my condolences, and please let me know if there's anything at all I can do to help."
• "I'm thinking of you during this incredibly difficult time. I'm so very sorry for your loss."
• "I don't have words to express how sorry I am to hear about your dad. Please know I'm thinking of you."
• "It's terrible to hear about the loss of your spouse. You have my thoughts and sympathy during this time."
• "Your mom was a wonderful woman, and I'm so sorry to hear about her passing. Please know I'm thinking of you."
• "Your aunt touched so many lives, and she will be missed by everyone who knew her. Please know we are all thinking of you during this time."
• "I heard about your brother, and I wanted to offer my condolences. Please take all the time you need and know that everything is covered here at work."

Writing a Condolence Messages in a Card

A sympathy card is a truly meaningful way to express your condolences, whether you know someone well or are simply an acquaintance. What you say in a sympathy card is more about your relationship with the person you're addressing than their relationship with the person they've lost. Think about what makes this person special, how you can help in practical ways, and how they are feeling now. You can share a memory or simply keep it short. Let these example condolence card messages inspire you.

What to Say in a Short Condolence Message

You don't have to write a long note to make your sympathy card meaningful. These short condolence messages can work well:

• "When we lose someone, we can lose track of ourselves. Please know you mean so much to me, and I'm here in any way you need."
• "I'm thinking of you during this difficult time and sending love. Please accept my condolences."
• "I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel surrounded by people who love you as you navigate this difficult time."
• "You have my deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. I am thinking of you."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. Please know I am thinking of you and sending you love."
• "John and I are holding you close in our thoughts during this time."
• "Please accept my condolences on the loss of your friend. I hope your beautiful memories of your time together will give you comfort during this time."
• "I know there's nothing I can do to ease the pain of this loss, but please know I'm here if you need to talk or simply want to sit in silence with a friend."
• "I was so sad to hear of the loss of your brother. Please know he spoke of you often and loved you dearly. I'm thinking of you and your family."
• "Please know I am holding you close in my thoughts during this difficult time. Your grandma was a special person, and she will be deeply missed."
• "I know this is an incredibly difficult time for your family, and I wanted to express my deepest condolences. Please know I'm here if you need anything."
• "Your sister made so many lives better with her work and with her beautiful personality. We will miss her so much. Thinking of your family."

What to Say in a Longer Condolence Message

If you have a little more space to write or a bit more to say, these longer messages may be perfect for your situation:

• "I remember family dinners at your home and the laughter that filled your parents' dining room. There was alway so much love in your family, and I know there still is. I hope that same love will sustain you during this time of loss."
• "Your grandfather led a remarkable and important life, and all who knew him mourn his loss. Please accept my condolences and know I am thinking of you during this time."
• "We all miss your aunt Jane so deeply. You were very special to her, and I know you have some of her incredible strength of spirit. Please accept my condolences."
• "Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your dad. He was such an incredible man, capable of great compassion and strength. He spoke of you often, and I know he loved you very much."
• "Holding you close in my thoughts as you remember your husband. Yours is such a beautiful love story. I will be in touch in the next couple of weeks to drop off some meals and see if there's anything I can do to help."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Uncle John. Your compassionate care and steadfast commitment to him during these last few years is an inspiration to all who witnessed it. Your relationship was very special, and I'm honored to have known you both. Please know I'm thinking of you."
• "Losing someone like your dad is proof that one human life can have dramatic impact on many others. We all mourn with you. If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask."
• "I am so grateful that I got the chance to know your mom through my work. She was an incredible artist and a very fine teacher and human. Please accept my condolences and know I am thinking of you during this time."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your partner. The love you shared was a great inspiration to many, and I hope the memories help to comfort you during this time."
• "Your mom was an inspiration to everyone who knew her, and I know she was very proud of her family. Please know we are all thinking of you during this time."
• "When I first met your grandma, she seemed like the most intimidating person I'd ever seen. Then I realized that her fierceness came from a place of love. Her family mattered so much to her, and she spoke of you often. Please accept my deepest condolences on your loss."
• "This is a sad time for all who knew your brother, but it's also a time for gratitude. Jim touched so many lives in such profound ways. He made the world a better place. Please know I'm thinking of you."

Including Condolence Messages With Flowers

If you're sending flowers to a funeral or having flowers delivered to show your sympathy, it can be challenging to know what to say on the card. You don't have much room, so your message needs to be extremely short. Fortunately, there are lots of concise and meaningful condolences messages you can use:

• Our condolences on the loss of your beautiful friend.
• Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your mom.
• Holding you close in my thoughts during this time.
• Your mom touched so many lives. I'm so sorry for your loss.
• Remembering your amazing dad and thinking of you with love.
• Sending love and comforting thoughts during this time.
• Please know we are thinking of you right now.
• We're so sorry for your loss. We're here.
• You're in our thoughts as you celebrate your aunt's beautiful life.
• What an important person your mom was to so many. Thinking of you.
• Our condolences on the loss of your incredible husband. He will be missed.
• Your love story is beautiful. We're thinking of you today and always.
• Our deepest sympathy as you remember your mom.
• What a beautiful life your mom lived. Honored to have known her.
• We miss your dad so much. Thinking of you with love.
• It was an honor to work with Robert. Please accept our condolences.
• Hoping you are surrounded by love today as you remember Emily.
• Your sister touched many lives. We miss her deeply.
• With deep sympathy as you mourn the loss of your friend.
• With love for you and deep sorrow for your loss.
• Honoring a truly beautiful life and a wonderful human being.
• Wish we could be there to celebrate your dad's life. We miss him dearly.
• Your grandpa was a good man and a great friend. Missing him today and always.
• My condolences today as you remember a life well lived.

Expressing Condolences on Social Media

Offering your condolences on social media can be challenging, but it's also an important way to share the burden of grief in today's world. It's proper etiquette to keep your message private unless the person you're addressing has already posted about the loss.

What to Say as a Comment or Post

If someone has posted about a loss, it's customary to offer your condolences as a comment on the post. You can go beyond the standard "I'm sorry for your loss" by making your message personal and specific:

• "I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. What you wrote about her here is truly beautiful. Please know I'm thinking about you during this difficult time."
• "Think of you today and in the days ahead. Losing a spouse is incredibly difficult. I'm here if you need to talk."
• "Special pets make such a huge impact on our lives in such a short time. I know how hard it is to lose a cat you love. Please know you're in my thoughts."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, Joan. Holding you in my thoughts during this time."
• "So sorry about your friend. Your words about her are a lovely tribute. Thinking of you."
• "I just wanted to offer my condolences about the loss of your daughter. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm holding you in my thoughts."
• "Your words about your sister are incredibly moving. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers."
• "I'm so sorry. I hope you find some moments of comfort during this incredibly hard time."
• "Wishing you the comfort of good memories during this difficult time. Sending you my condolences."
• "Your dad sounds like an incredible person. I'm so sorry to hear about this loss, and I'm thinking of you."
• "I'm so sorry to hear this, Allen. I'm keeping you in my thoughts."
• "Your words about your grandpa are beautiful, and I can tell you loved him very much. Hoping your memories bring you comfort during this time."

What to Say in a Direct Message

If you know someone well on social media or if you know them offline, it's a good idea to follow up any comments or posts with a direct message. You should also send a direct message if the loss is not public knowledge, since it keeps the information private. Here are some example direct messages you can use to send your condolences online:

• "Hi, Ethan. I just wanted to reach out and let you know I'm thinking about you. Losing a parent is one of the most difficult things in life. Even though I didn't know your dad, I feel like I did from your wonderful posts and photos. I'm so sorry for your loss."
• "Hi, Marie. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's passing. Please know I'm thinking about you during this really difficult time. If you ever need someone to listen, I'm here."
• "Adam, I just wanted to offer you my deepest condolences about your grandpa. I've been following your story for a while, and I know the loss was expected. I've learned that doesn't necessarily make it any easier, though. Please know I'm thinking of you and your family during this time."
• "Becky, I saw your recent post about losing your dog, and I just wanted to reach out personally. When I lost my Fluffy last year, I found it helped to talk to other people who had gone through a similar loss. If you ever want to chat, I'm here. I'm keeping you in my thoughts."

Sharing Condolences by Email

If you often communicate with someone over email, you may choose to use this method of communication to express your sympathy. When it comes to sending your condolences by email, etiquette dictates that you follow up with a paper card, attendance at the memorial service, or a phone call. However, email is a good way to reach out in the first few days after the loss, letting someone know you're thinking of them without requiring an immediate response or interaction. The condolence email subject line can be very simple, such as "So Sorry for Your Loss." Then you can use your relationship with the person to help you form the body of the email.

What to Say in a Condolence Email to a Coworker

Dear Steven,

I was so sorry to learn about the death of your wife. Although I didn't know her well, I remember meeting her at the company party last year. She had such a sparkling personality and was very easy to talk to. I know this is a great loss, and I wanted to let you know I am here in any way you need. Please reach out if I can help with anything here at the office. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

What to Say in a Condolence Email to a Client

Dear Mr. Johnson,

We were so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. You are a valued client, and we are keeping you in our thoughts. Please accept our deepest condolences and let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

What to Say in a Condolence Email to a Teacher

Dear Mrs. North,

Our family was so sad to hear about the loss of your mother. You have been such an incredible model of kindness for Skylar and the rest of her class, and we are so sorry you're going through this difficult time. Please know we are keeping you in our thoughts.

What to Say in a Condolence Email to a Student

Dear Jayson and Family,

I was so sorry to hear about the death of your grandpa. I remember when he came to read to our class. All the students responded to him, and Jayson seemed so proud to have him there. Please know I am thinking about you during this incredibly difficult time, and please let me know how I can support Jayson at school.

Sending Condolences When You Can't Attend the Memorial Service

If you're unable to attend the memorial service or funeral or if the service is delayed, you can still express your condolences. Here are some ideas to help:

• "I wish I could attend the celebration of you sister's life. She was an incredibly person, and we will all miss her. Please accept my deepest condolences."
• "I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter, and I wish I could attend the memorial service. Please know I am keeping you in my thoughts during this difficult period."
• "My dear friend, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Even though I'm unable to attend the funeral, I'm holding you close in my thoughts. I'll be in touch after things calm down a bit. In the meantime, please let me know if there's any way I can help."
• "It's so difficult not to be with you during this time, but please know I'm thinking of you. Your mom was an amazing person, and I feel lucky I got to know her. I'll be checking in, but please keep me in mind if you need someone to listen."
• "I was so sorry to hear about Robert. He was such an incredible person. I know the memorial service will be next summer, but I wanted to reach out now to let you know I'm thinking about you during this time."
• "You're such a good friend, Anne, and I know you are grieving right now. Please know I'm thinking of you with love, even though I can't attend the service for Jim. I'm here to listen anytime."
• "I'm so sorry I won't be able to attend the funeral for your brother. Please accept my condolences for your loss. I'm thinking of you during this difficult time."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about the loss your grandmother. She was an amazing woman and spoke of you often. I am sorry I won't be able to attend the funeral, but please accept my deepest condolences."

Expressing Condolences After Time Has Passed

You can offer your condolences, even if time has passed since the death. Whether you're marking an anniversary or birthday, noting the loss at Christmas or another holiday, or simply haven't had a chance to reach out before this, people will still appreciate hearing that you're thinking of them. In fact, condolences may mean even more coming in the months after a loss when other support may have faded away.

• "I know it's been a few months since you lost Jessica, but I just wanted to reach out and let you know I'm here and thinking of you. She was such a special person, and I think of her often. I'm here to listen if you ever want to talk."
• "It's hard to believe it's been an entire year since Erick died. I know time changes grief, but these milestones can be difficult. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you today and every day."
• "Thinking of you a lot this year at Christmas. The holidays can be very difficult after a loss, and I know this is your first Christmas without your dad. Hoping you are remembering what a remarkable person he was and taking comfort in the love of your family."
• "I'm so sorry I didn't reach out sooner. I just heard about your grandma, and I wanted to express my condolences. She was a wonderful woman."
• "I know Saturday is Erin's birthday, and I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. She was such a ray of sunshine, and we all miss her so much. Hoping you are surrounded by love."
• "Just wanted to tell you we're thinking of Aunt Margie on her birthday and holding your whole family in our thoughts."
• "It's been a few months since you lost your mom, and I just wanted to let you know I'm still here for you if you ever want to talk."
• "I know it's been a few weeks since your dad passed away, but I wanted to check in. How are you holding up?"

Sending Condolences for a Sudden Loss

When someone passes away suddenly , it can be difficult to know how to convey your condolences in a way that is sensitive to the situation. Sudden losses are shocking, and you can acknowledge that in your messages, whether you express them in a card, online, or in person. Here are some examples:

• "I'm so sorry to hear about Larry's sudden passing. Please know I'm thinking of you."
• "We were so shocked to hear about the loss of your dad. This must be an unimaginably difficult time for your family. You're in our thoughts."
• "I was sorry to hear about you losing your mom so suddenly. She was a wonderful woman with a kind word for everyone she knew. Please accept my deepest condolences."
• "It was so sad to hear about the sudden loss of your sister. Please know we are here for you in any way you need."
• "I just wanted to offer my condolences about the loss of your daughter. It takes time and love to heal after a shock like this, and I'm here if you want to talk."
• "This loss is such a shock. I'm holding you and your family in my thoughts and prayers."
• "I was so sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your uncle. I'm thinking of your whole family during this time."
• "My heart goes out to you and your family during this time. The sudden loss of your mom is so sad. She was a beautiful person."

Offering to Help After a Loss

When there's a death in the family, people can struggle to handle the day-to-day tasks they normally complete. In addition, the planning for a funeral or memorial service can feel overwhelming. Although general offers of help are nice, specific offers are easier for a grieving person to receive. Try one of these:

• "Judith, we were so sorry to hear about John. Please know we're more than happy to take Rufus for a walk every day."
• "I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I'll be putting together some meals for you, and I'll plan to drop those off on Tuesday."
• "Please accept my condolences about the loss of your brother. He was such an amazing friend, and I want to help with the funeral arrangements if you'll allow me. Could I take care of ordering food?"
• "We were so sad to hear about your mom's passing. You have so much on your plate right now, and we'd like to take care of your yard for you for the next couple of months."
• "Your dad was such a wonderful man, and I'll miss him so much. I'd love to offer you the use of my car while you're making all the arrangements."
• "Sarah, we know this has been a devastating loss. We'll be there as you heal in any way you need us. Julie and I would like to help with the kids this week if that's okay."
• "I'm so sorry about the loss of your sister. We are all thinking of you here at work, and we'd like to offer you our support with taking on any of your projects during the next few weeks."
• "Losing someone you love can feel so lonely. Please know I'm here to listen."

Sharing a Memory With Your Condolences

Some of the best condolence message include a special memory of the person who has passed away. These memories can be very comforting to those who have lost someone they love. Any memory you may have to share will be unique, but you can use these condolence starters to help you write it down. Try to be as specific as possible:

• "Every time I see a [object or building], it reminds me of the time [name]...."
• "The first time I met [name], I was surprised that...."
• "One of my best memories of [name] is...."
• "I will never forget the time that [name]...."

Writing Condolences Messages for Specific Losses

Although a lot of what you say to someone who is grieving is a reflection of your relationship with that person, you can also draw on the grieving person's relationship with the person who has passed away. Remember that each relationship is unique, and it can be difficult to know how people feel about one another from the outside. However, there are some ways you can comfort someone who has lost a spouse, parent, child, or other special person.

What to Say to Someone Grieving for a Spouse or Partner

When someone loses a spouse or life partner, knowing what to say can be a challenge. The key is honoring the significance of this relationship when you offer your condolences. Here are some examples of comforting things to say :

• "I'm so sorry to hear about Bill's passing. Your love story has always been and continues to be an inspiration to me. I am thinking of you with love during this difficult time."
• "You have touched many lives with the love you and Shelly shared. I'm honored to have witnessed that bond. Please know I am here in any way you need during this time."
• "I wanted to express my condolences on the loss of your wife. A lifetime of shared love is no small thing, but it's also never enough. Holding you close in my thoughts."
• "Even though I haven't met you, I want you to know Fred spoke of you often. You were clearly the love of his life. Please know I'm thinking of you."
• "The love you and Uncle Dave shared was something special, and I hope the memories and strength of that connection help to comfort you during this time. We will all miss him so much."
• "I remember Marie telling me about the day you two met and how she knew right that moment that she wanted to spend her life with you. I'm glad she got that wish and was able to share her life with someone she loved so deeply. Even though this is an unimaginably difficult time, I hope her love continues to comfort you."

What to Say to Someone Grieving for a Parent

Losing a parent is so hard, no matter how old someone is or how complicated the relationship might be. You can touch on the importance of this relationship as you offer your condolences on the death of a father or mother:

• "I've known your mom all my life, and I have so many memories of her. She took such good care of everyone, but she especially doted on her kids. I know this is a terrible loss, and I'm thinking of all of you."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your dad. He spoke of you often and with such obvious pride. I know this is a very difficult time, and I'm holding you and your family in my thoughts."
• "Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your mom. I didn't know her, but I can see her beautiful work in the person you are. I'm thinking of you."
• "I know you and your dad had a complicated relationship, but that doesn't make this loss any easier. I'm thinking of you during this time."
• "Your mom was an amazing person who could fill a room with joy and laughter. I hope her exceptional ability to love sustains you during this time. I'm so very sorry for your loss."
• "The care you've shown your mom over the past few months has been truly incredible. You made her exit from this life graceful and loving, and there's no greater gift a daughter could give. She spoke of you with such love. Please know we are here for you."

What to Say to Someone Grieving for a Sibling

The loss of a sibling can be especially difficult because this is a lifelong relationship. No matter how old someone is when they lose a brother or sister, offering your condolences can involve speaking about the special bond they are grieving:

• "I'm so grateful I got to know your brother and witness the special relationship the two of you shared. I'm so sorry for your loss."
• "Please accept my condolences about the loss of your sister. She spoke of you often with warmth, and I know you were incredibly special to her. I'm thinking of your family during this time."
• "Although I didn't know your brother, I know you had a close and loving relationship. I'm so sorry for your loss. I am holding you in my thoughts and prayers."
• "I remember the first day I met you and your sister. The two of you laughed together so easily and shared such an incredible bond. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm here if you need to talk."
• "I know you and your brother didn't always get along, but I have never doubted your love for one another. Please know he spoke of you with such tenderness. We miss him very much."
• "Losing a sibling means losing someone who has known you since childhood. I know this is an unimaginably difficult time. Please accept my deepest condolences."

What to Say to Someone Grieving for a Child

Perhaps the most devastating loss in any life is the death of a child . It can be difficult to know what to say when faced with a loss of this magnitude, but there are some ways you can express your condolences:

• "We are so terribly sorry to hear of this great loss. Please know we are praying for you and holding you close in our thoughts."
• "I was so sorry to hear about MacKenzie. I miss her so much too, and I know this time must be incredible difficult. I am thinking of you."
• "Please accept my condolences for the loss of your daughter. Although I didn't know her, I know how much you loved her. I'm certain she knew too. I am thinking of you during this time."
• "I don't know what to say about this devastating loss, except to tell you that I love you and am here for you."
• "I'm so sorry for the heartbreak you're enduring right now. Please know I am here and will be checking in throughout the coming weeks and months."
• "Your daughter was an amazing woman, and I'm honored to have had the chance to know her. She spoke of both of you with such love. Please accept my condolences."

What to Say to Someone Who Has Experienced a Miscarriage

Talking about a miscarriage can be difficult, and people often find themselves at a loss for words when it comes to offering condolences. These sympathy messages can help you know what to say:

• "You felt real love for this baby, and this is a very real loss. I'm so very sorry."
• "Please know I'm so very sorry to hear about this loss. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time. I'm here if you want to talk."
• "This kind of loss can feel invisible, but I want you to know I've been there. The experience is different for everyone, but if you would ever like to talk, I'm here."
• "I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling right now, but I am here to listen. I'm so sorry for the loss of your pregnancy."
• "I know how excited you were for this baby, and I know that you must be struggling. I'm so very sorry. I'm here to help in any way you need."
• "This is such a difficult time for you, and I'm so very sorry. I'm here for you."

What to Say to Someone Who Has Lost a Pet

Losing a pet can be a very difficult experience, and people need support during this time. You can express your condolences and show how much you care:

• "I know Fluffy was like a member of your family, and I'm so sorry for your loss. You gave her a wonderful life."
• "I was so sorry to hear about Tinker. He was a great cat and had such a unique and charming personality. Please know I'm thinking of you."
• "I'm so sorry to hear about Max. I'll miss his wagging tail and excited barking when I visit, and I know he was such a comfort to you. You gave him a wonderful life, and he was truly loved. I'm here if you would like to talk."
• "You had so many amazing adventures with Silver. No dog could hope for a better life or better love. I hope the memories bring you some comfort right now."
• "I'm so sorry about Igor. He was completely insane in such a charming way, and I know saying goodbye had to have been really hard. I'm thinking of you."
• "Saying goodbye to our beloved pets can be incredibly difficult. Please know I'm thinking of you and am so sorry for the loss of Muffy."

Knowing What to Say Is About Showing You Care

There are lots of words to say that go beyond the standard, " I'm sorry for your loss ." The secret to knowing what to say and what not to say to a grieving person is paying attention to the person in front of you. Show the grieving person you see them and acknowledge the difficult loss they are enduring. Offer to help if you can, and share a memory if you have one. Ultimately, knowing what to say is about showing you care.

How to Write a Condolence Message

Death is never easy. And when you hear that someone you know has experienced a loss, it can be difficult to know what to say: You want to acknowledge what’s happened while being sensitive to their feelings.

The main thing to remember is that losing a loved one can be a difficult and isolating experience. Sending a sympathy message—which is a common practice for those who know someone who’s grieving—can provide some much-needed support or a kind word in these situations. And it lets them know they aren’t alone.

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Here’s what you should know about writing a thoughtful sympathy message.

What is a condolence message?

A sympathy message (also called condolences, or a condolence message) is a brief letter or card that’s meant to let a person in mourning know they are not alone in this difficult time in their life.

When should you write a condolence message?

You should write a short condolence message when someone you know has lost a loved one, such as a friend, family member, or beloved pet.

4 parts of a condolence message

As with any letter, you should start with a greeting. You can and should keep this brief. For example, a simple “dear [name]” or even just their name can do the trick.

2 Heartfelt condolences or sympathies

This is the primary purpose of the message. You should communicate your sorrow or sympathy for their loss at this point in the message or card. (See examples of this below.) This can also include an offer of support.

3 A memory or brief anecdote (if appropriate)

If you had a significant relationship with the deceased, you can include a memory or anecdote that illustrates that relationship. Just remember to keep it brief so as not to overwhelm the recipient.

4 Signature

Finally, you should end a condolence message with your signature (or your name, if you’re using an electronic method).

Dos and don’ts of writing a condolence message

Although there is no one right way to write a sympathy message, there are some key guidelines that you should keep in mind as you write one.

Do be thoughtful about the context

Tone is always important to keep in mind when writing, but it’s especially important in a condolence message. The circumstances of the death may play a role in how you approach your message. For example, if it was expected after a battle with an illness, the family may be more oriented toward celebrating the life of the deceased, rather than focusing on the loss. However, others may find that approach off-putting, especially if the death was unexpected.

Don’t say you know how they feel

Every loss is different. And even if you’ve been in a similar situation, it’s important to remember that your experience isn’t necessarily the same as theirs. (This is the difference between empathy and sympathy .) In fact, implying or stating that you know how they feel can be hurtful to those in mourning, so it’s best avoided.

Do keep relationship dynamics in mind

Be mindful of how close you were to the deceased, as well as how well you know the person you’re addressing. For example, a message for a coworker who’s experienced a loss is going to sound quite different than one for a close family member.

Don’t make it too lengthy

Those who are grieving can find it difficult to keep up with the demands of life; avoid a long-winded message that requires focus (and potentially a response). By keeping the message short, you put them, and their time and energy, at the forefront.

Do focus on kindness

Losing someone is hard, so a sympathy message should always lead with kindness. This means centering the needs of the recipient, and remembering that the message isn’t about you. Sending thoughts of comfort , peace , love , a big hug , or an openness to talk are good ways to express kindness.

Don’t minimize their pain or loss

Although it may be your initial reaction to say something along the lines of “[name] is in a better place now,” or “at least [name] isn’t in pain anymore,” or “time heals all wounds,” this can strike the wrong tone for those who are grieving. These phrases also invalidate their pain, so try to avoid those types of sentiments.

Don’t ask questions in your message

A condolence message is not the place for questions, even ones that are meant to be helpful. Again, those who are grieving already have a lot on their plate. For example, instead of asking if there’s anything you can do to help, say that you’ll check back in with them after a certain amount of time (or after an event, such as a funeral) to provide additional support.

10 alternatives to “I’m sorry for your loss”

Although the phrase “I’m sorry for your loss” gets to the point of a sympathy message, its ubiquity can make it sound impersonal. That’s especially true if you’re writing to someone who is close to you.

Here are some alternatives you may want to consider:

1 [Name] will be deeply missed.

2 I’m sending you all of my love during this difficult time.

3 I was so sorry to hear about the passing of [name/relationship to the recipient].

4 Thinking of you and your family during this tough time.

5 I didn’t have the opportunity to meet [name], but it’s clear that they were a special person, and their loss will be felt by many.

6 I want you to know that I’m here for you.

7 Words can’t express how sorry we were to hear about [name]’s passing.

8 It was a privilege to know [name]—they touched so many lives.

9 [Name] was one of a kind, and their legacy of [quality, such as kindness or generosity] was felt by so many.

10 I’m so sorry, my friend. [Name] was such a special person. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Condolence message FAQs

A condolence message or letter is meant to comfort those who are mourning a loss.

After someone you know has lost a loved one or pet. For example, this may be after an obituary is published, or after you hear the news from someone you know.

What should a condolence message include?

It should include three or four key parts: a greeting, heartfelt condolences or sympathies, a memory or brief anecdote about the deceased (if appropriate), and a signature.

Notifications

What to write in a sympathy card.

Losing a loved one can be one of the most difficult experiences a person goes through, and it may be hard to know what to say or do to offer comfort and support. One way to express your condolences and show your support is by sending a sympathy card. However, finding the right words to write in a sympathy card can be challenging, especially if you've never done it before. If you don’t know what to write on sympathy cards, this article is a great place to start and includes tips, examples, and suggestions to help you express your condolences in a heartfelt and respectful way. Whether you're writing to a friend, family member, or colleague, this guide will help you find the right words to offer comfort during a difficult time.

It’s my first time writing a sympathy card. Where do I start?

It's understandable to feel unsure about how to start writing a sympathy card, especially if it's your first time. Here are a few steps to help you get going:

• Choose a blank card or one with a simple design: A blank card will give you more space to write your message, while a simple design will keep the focus on your words of sympathy.
• Address the card: Begin by addressing the card with the recipient's name, such as "Dear [Name]."
• Express your condolences: Start your message with an expression of sympathy, such as "I am so sorry for your loss" or "Please accept my deepest sympathies during this difficult time."
• Share a memory: If you knew the person who passed away, you can share a brief memory or anecdote about them to show that you are thinking of them and to offer comfort to the recipient.
• Offer support: Let the recipient know that you are there for them and offer any help or support that you are able to offer during this difficult time.
• Close with a respectful and appropriate closing: End your message with a respectful closing, such as "With deepest sympathy" or "Yours in sympathy."

Remember that your message doesn't need to be lengthy or perfect. The most important thing is to express your condolences in a sincere and respectful way that offers comfort and support to the recipient during this difficult time.

When are sympathy cards sent?

Sympathy cards are typically sent shortly after someone has experienced a loss, such as the death of a loved one. The purpose of a sympathy card is to express condolences and offer support to the grieving individual or family during a difficult time.

Sympathy cards can be sent immediately after learning of the loss or a few days later to allow the family time to process and grieve. They can also be sent on special occasions, such as the anniversary of the loss or during the holiday season, to let the family know that they are still being thought of and supported.

What to say in a sympathy card

Not sure what to write in a sympathy card for the loss of a husband, coworker, friend, or other loved one? Don’t worry! This is a common experience. Crafting a genuine and comforting sympathy message in the format of a card gives you little room to work with, especially when addressing such a heavy and complex subject. There aren’t any concrete rules around things to say in a sympathy card. You want to come across as genuine, but can run into sounding like a robot generated your sympathy card message. Here are some wording ideas for simple sympathy card messages:

• "I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you are in my thoughts during this difficult time."
• "Words cannot express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. Please know that I am here for you if you need anything."
• "May the love and memories you shared with [name of deceased] comfort you during this time of grief. Please accept my sincerest condolences."
• "Although no words can truly comfort you right now, please know that you are not alone in your sorrow. I am here for you and your family."
• "As you navigate through this difficult time, please know that you have my deepest sympathies and my unwavering support."

The content you include in your sympathy card will also depend on the amount of space you’re given to write. If it’s a shorter sympathy card (as in a note card that’s being sent alongside some flowers), you can generally stick to shorter sentiments and follow up at a different time with a longer message in a different format (such as through email ). Sympathy card messages are typically brief sentiments and let the family know they’re in your thoughts and you’re thinking of them.

Brief sympathy card sayings

If you’re still stuck on things to write in a sympathy card and want to add more, here are some sayings that are commonly used when sending a sympathy message. You can alter these to fit your preferences and situation.

• "Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss."
• "Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time."
• "May the love and memories you shared with [name of deceased] bring you comfort during this time of grief."
• "Although no words can ease your pain right now, please know that we are here for you and your family."
• "Wishing you peace and comfort as you grieve the loss of your [spouse, parent, sibling, etc.]."
• "With sympathy and heartfelt condolences for your loss."
• "Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs during this difficult time."
• "May the beautiful memories you shared with [name of deceased] bring you solace during this time of mourning."
• "Please accept our sincere condolences on the loss of your [loved one]."
• "Thinking of you and your family and sending love and strength during this difficult time."

These sayings are great to pick and choose from so that you can craft the right level of closeness and support with your message. Your level of detail and closeness in your sympathy card will also change depending on your relationship to the bereaved, to the deceased, and the relationship the bereaved had with the deceased. For example, what to write in a pet sympathy card to your best friend may contain a different level of closeness than when considering what to write in a sympathy card to your boss.

How to end a sympathy card

Signing a sympathy card comes with its own set of choices. When signing a sympathy card, it's important to remember that your message of condolence and support will likely be read and appreciated by the recipient during a difficult and emotional time. Here are a few tips on how to sign a sympathy card:

• Use a respectful and appropriate closing: When closing your message, avoid phrases like "Xoxo” or an emoji of some kind and opt for a more respectful and appropriate closing such as "With deepest sympathy," "Sincerely," or "Yours in sympathy."
• Sign with your full name: While you may assume that the recipient knows who the card is from, it's still important to sign your full name to avoid any confusion. You can also include your contact information if you’d like to open the lines of communication.
• Offer your support: In addition to your message of sympathy, consider adding a line or two that lets the recipient know you're there for them if they need anything. For example, you could write, "Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. I’d like to offer my support, please let me know if there is a good time to come by.”
• Keep it brief: While it's important to express your sympathy and offer support, it's also important to keep your message brief and to the point. The recipient may be overwhelmed with a lot of messages and may not have the emotional energy to read through lengthy messages.

Remember, your message doesn't need to be perfect. The most important thing is to express your condolences in a sincere and respectful way that offers comfort and support to the recipient during this difficult time.

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40 Condolence Messages That Genuinely Express Sympathy and Support

It can be hard to find the words. We’re here to help.

Short condolence messages

Condolence messages for a friend, condolence messages for a colleague, condolence messages for loss of father, condolence messages for loss of mother, condolence messages for loss of spouse.

Coping with loss is one thing that never gets easier, even with practice—and what’s just as difficult as experiencing loss is witnessing the grief of others. Unfortunately, as members of anyone’s support system, we can’t grieve secondhand, but we can offer condolence messages: kind words to remind a friend, co-worker, or loved one of the connection they still have Earth-side, a reality that grief easily shrouds.

A seemingly superficial message (and maybe even a sympathy gift ) may not feel like much, but anyone who has dealt with grief will say that even a quick text is a welcome salve for the heart during such a difficult time. The tricky part, however, is finding the words to say, as no combination of them can heal all. You also want to be sensitive with your words, and think carefully about the situation at-hand. So, whether you put them in a card, a text, or an email, below, you can find some safe jumping-off points for condolence messages that will make a difference in anyone’s journey through loss.

• “Those who live in our memories are never truly gone.”
• “Celebrating the life of a good person and mourning their passing with you.”
• “May you be comforted by the outpouring of love surrounding you.”
• “We hope you know we are by your side during this time of sorrow.”
• “Sending you strength today and peace in all the days ahead.”
• “Wishing you peace and comfort in these difficult days.”
• “I’m so sad for your loss. Thinking of you.”
• “With love and remembrance, we share in your sorrow.”
• “We’ve shared so much through the years and I’m here now to share the weight of your loss. Whatever you need, I’m standing by.”
• “Words of sympathy feel inadequate in expressing grief and sorrow for a loss so great. Sending a warm embrace and all my love during this sad time.”
• “A hug from me to you to let you know that today and every day, you are in my heart and thoughts. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
• “Losing someone so close is so hard. I will be here to support you at any time and any hour. Sending you so much love.”
• “In heartfelt memory of your loved one, someone who brought a smile to every occasion. Thinking of you.”
• “Gone, but never far from our hearts. Deepest sympathy for your loss.”
• “I know that grief comes in waves. That’s why I intend to be with you throughout this difficult journey.”
• “You need only look in your heart to find what is lost. Sending our condolences to you and your family.”
• “I cannot imagine the pain and heartache you’re feeling. I am praying for your peace and comfort.”
• “With a loss so great, there are simply no words to ease the pain. If there were, I would use them now. Please know that I’m here.”
• “We are saddened to learn of your loss. Please know that we’re thinking of you and are here for anything you may need.”
• “Please accept my sincere condolences.”
• “In these moments, when there are no words, know that the ones we love remain beside us, now and always.”
• “If there wasn’t so much love, it wouldn’t be this hard to say goodbye. Our thoughts are with you.”
• “With deepest sympathy from your coworkers at [company name]. Please know we are thinking of you during this painful time.”
• “Thinking of you and your family; My deepest sympathy.”
• “On behalf of our entire team, please accept our deepest sympathies.”
• “Please know we are thinking of you during this painful time. As your work family, we are here for you.”
• “I am deeply sorry to hear about the passing of your loved one.”
• “Thinking of you and wishing you strength and comfort.”
• “What an amazing person and what a remarkable life. I feel so lucky that I got to know him.”
• “Your father was loved so deeply and so we will grieve deeply too.”
• “Your dad touched many people’s lives—mine included. I’m grateful I got the chance to know him.”
• “Your dad’s amazing personality lives on through you. Sending you love during this difficult time.”
• “Mothers never really leave us. They are always with us and we hope that gives you some small comfort during this difficult time.”
• “A mother’s love is infinite and all-encompassing. May you continue to feel her love every day even though she is no longer here with us.”
• “Your mother will be greatly missed; may you be comforted by your many memories of her and with her.”
• “I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your mom, but I’m sure she was a special person because she raised an amazing human being: you. Wishing you peace and comfort during this unimaginable time.”
• “When something like this happens, it leaves everyone figuring out how to pick up the pieces. There are no words, only love and support during this sorrowful time. I am here for you.”
• “Love never dies. Your spouse’s love for you is everlasting.”
• “I’ll always admire the love shared between you and your spouse. You shared a one-of-kind bond that can never be broken.”
• “I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved partner. You complemented each other like no other couple I know. May your precious memories bring you comfort.”

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How To Express Sympathy: What To Say And What Not to Say

We’ve compiled a list of things to say—and things to avoid saying—when offering condolences.

What To Say To Express Sympathy

The goal of expressing sympathy is to offer your compassion and concern for the bereaved. You can say how much you will miss the person who died or you can share a happy memory. While it might be hard to know what to say to someone who lost a loved one, the most important thing to communicate is that you care about the bereaved person and you're available as a source of support.

"I’m sorry for your loss."

While this phrase has become a cliché, it's a simple and succinct way of communicating your empathy. If you are at a loss for words, telling a person “I’m sorry for your loss” can let the person know that you care.

"My condolences."

This is another safe option. Other variations: "my deepest condolences" or "my condolences to you and your family."

“You're in my thoughts/I’m thinking of you."

Letting the person know you are aware of the emotional difficulty of the situation can help a bereaved person feel less isolated in their experience, and reminding the person that you care enough to be thinking about them can help a bereaved person feel less isolated in the world.

"S/he was a wonderful person."

"i will miss him/her.", "this must be so hard for you.".

Acknowledging the pain and grief that the bereaved is feeling can be very consoling. Many people who experience a loss feel alone and isolated in their feelings, and by acknowledging the emotional difficulty of the situation you can help make the bereaved feel less alone.

“I love you."

If you’re close enough, reminding a grieving person that you love them can be powerful. Grief can leave people feeling alone; by reminding them that you love them and are there for them can be a reminder that they're not alone.

"When you’re ready, I’d like to get together to learn more about [the deceased's name]."

If you didn’t know the person who died, offering to listen to the bereaved can make them feel cared for and take some of the pressure off of immediate interactions. Letting the bereaved know that you’re there for them in the future can be a huge comfort during a stressful and painful time.

Share a memory of the person who died.

It doesn't have to be an epic revelation, you can think of something small and meaningful. Perhaps they taught you something you still use in your daily life, or maybe something funny they did that always makes you smile.

What Not To Say To Someone Who Has Experienced A Loss

Many people are afraid to say the “wrong thing” to someone who has just experienced a loss. Because a bereaved person is typically feeling overwhelmed and highly emotional, the stakes feel very high. You should try to speak from a place of love and compassion, and honestly acknowledge the situation. Three good rules to follow when figuring out what not to say are:

• Don’t deny that the person who died is dead.
• Don’t deny that the bereaved is in emotional pain.
• Don’t deny that this death may change everyone’s lives forever.

"I know how you are feeling."

While this may seem like an empathic statement, it often has the opposite effect. Everyone experiences loss and grief differently, and you should encourage the bereaved to have their unique experience of the loss. A better way to express your empathy might be, “If you want to talk about how you are feeling, know that I am here for you.”

"S/he is in a better place."

This statement has the potential to be offensive. "So being dead is better than being with me and our children?" This is often said to comfort the bereaved, especially when a person has no idea what to say, but it can have the opposite effect.

"How are you doing/holding up?"

For most people who have experienced a death, the answer to this question is “Not well.” While we want to check in with people who are in grief, the casualness of this question often forces someone struggling with grief to put on a false face.

"Now you can start moving on with your life."

After a prolonged or painful illness death can seem like a relief, but you should never make it seem like the loss of a loved one eliminated a burden. A grieving person needs time and space to process the loss and grieve, especially if they spent months or years providing care to the deceased.

"I don’t know what I would do if my [deceased’s relationship to the bereaved] died."

While this statement may be absolutely true for you, it does nothing to comfort the bereaved. It may make the bereaved person feel even more isolated in their grief. Instead, try acknowledging the profoundness of the loss and let the person know that you are there as a source of comfort and support.

"At least the death was quick so there wasn’t pain."

Death is incredibly difficult no matter the form it takes. While you may want to help the person look on the “upside,” you're making an assumption that can be taken the wrong way by a person consumed by grief.

"At least you had a chance to say goodbye."

It's often viewed as a positive thing if the bereaved was with their loved one when they passed, but it can also be a small consolation in the grand scheme of thing. Here's a good rule to keep in mind when expressing sympathy: Never start a sentence with "at least."

"Don’t worry, you’ll feel better soon."

While you may want to help the bereaved look toward the future, it’s important to give a grieving person the time and space to experience their feelings. Grief doesn't have a timeline so don’t pressure them to “get over it.”

Related Reads:

When To Offer Condolences

Offering To Help When Someone Has Experienced A Loss

The Unwritten Rules About Dealing With Death On Social Media

• Funeral Etiquette

Condolences Meaning Explained

by Renaissance Funeral Home | Grief

When someone dies, the depth of the loved ones’ sorrow is difficult to fathom. “My condolences” is an expression acknowledging the pain others experience in a loss. The word “condolences” meaning shows understanding and sympathy that someone is suffering in their loss of a loved one.

Let’s look at the gestures that express our “condolences,” to those grieving.

The Written Word

In our world of digital consumption, videos are the norm. We watch Netflix, YouTube, and news channels in video form more than we read. However, there is something sweet and simple about sitting down to write someone a heartfelt card. Even a quick note attached to dinner or flowers can mean the world to a grieving soul. 

The way we express concern for another through words can give comfort. A bereaved person can read our words and take solace in them over and again. We can offer a glimpse into a brighter future and provide hope. We can inspire new ways of seeing the world and give comfort to those contemplating past mistakes. 

If you’re looking for the right words to say, let them come from a heart that empathizes with the one grieving. Give your “heartfelt condolences” by letting them know how much they mean to you. Tell them how their loss hurts you too. 

If the words won’t come, but you want to write something and need inspiration, check out these 75 sympathy message examples .

Flowers are a language all their own. A family with an appreciation for beauty may find this expression of your care a bright spot amid their sorrow. You can bring this expression of your condolences on a quick visit to the family, deliver to their home or funeral home, or plan for the flowers to arrive at their place of work.

You can choose an arrangement that genuinely expresses your thoughts and feelings clearly. There are varied styles of flowers, potted plants that could last a lifetime, sprays to make a funeral beautiful, and wreaths to brighten doorways. There is no limit on how you can give this type of grief expression.

For ideas on popular funeral arrangements, check out our extensive flowers catalog at Renaissance. You can also read this article about 15 popular funeral flower styles .

A heartfelt note with cash tucked inside is as caring as any type of condolence. If the family desires scholarship funds or gifts to charities instead of flowers, giving to their charity or fund shows respect for the family and what they need.

Every family is unique in how they process grief and what they need from their loved ones to get through this bleak time. Some families truly appreciate the more practical side of life and the funds required to care for the physical needs of others after their loss.

In some cases, any funds given to the family are necessary for their continued well-being after losing a wage-earner. Those without life insurance or a plan in place for the family after their death often leave financially struggling loved ones behind.

Being There

Another way to show your condolences to the grieving family is by just showing up. Be there for the funeral, any visitations, family get-togethers, friends gathering for a drink. You can be the one planning the get-togethers or just be one who counted on to come. Calling the bereaved and listening as they process what has happened can be everything they need at that moment. 

Often, the loved ones who have lost someone just need a listening ear to talk about what has happened. They might need to repeat the same stories or turn of events repeatedly until it makes sense to them in a way that moves them forward. Many bereaved will not go to a counselor but will often rely on the ear of a good friend.

Showing your sympathy for a family can often come through by doing things for them. Shopping, caring for children, and keeping a home running are essential tasks that may be more than a bereaved person can handle. They may need help with practical tasks that overwhelm them. Offering to care for children, take care of dinners or groceries, or do some cleaning are heartfelt ways of showing love and concern for someone grieving. 

Making arrangements for food after a funeral, ordering dinners for the family, arranging a list of people who will handle dinners for a few weeks: these are all condolences in the form of service to the bereaved.

Express Your Condolences

However you choose to offer condolences to those grieving a loss, remember that we all want others to show how much they care for us. When we feel alone and hopeless, we need others to come alongside and feel our pain and bear our burdens with us. 

If you have recently lost a loved one, we at Renaissance Funeral Home want to make the process of saying goodbye a bit easier. We are a full-service funeral home offering a chapel, areas to greet and share time with your loved ones, an on-site crematory, and most any type of service or funeral type you imagine for your loved one. We take care of the cumbersome details and plans when a loved one passes away.

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75 condolence messages to offer your love and support

There's no greater sadness than losing a friend or loved one.

In the difficult days following a loss, it's often the support of friends and loved ones that help lesson the pain, bringing comfort and peace during a time of deep sorrow.

“It’s very lonely when you lose someone because your feelings and experience are unique,” Dr. Robin Grant-Hall, clinical psychologist, tells TODAY.com. “People who care need to let the person know that you are there for them.”  

However, it's not always easy to know what condolence message to write in a card or to text to someone who is going through a hard time.

According to Grant-Hall, when expressing your sympathy, it's important to recognize the loss , as well as offer someone the much-needed reassurance that in the weeks and months ahead, you'll be there to support them.

To help put your feelings into words, we've gathered a list of condolence messages and sympathy quotes to assist you in composing a text or card.

Though your kind gesture may not ease their sorrow, it will remind them that they are not alone , that you're thinking of them and sharing in the burden of their loss. And nothing means more than that.

Condolence messages to offer support

• From across the miles, we send our heartfelt sympathy and healing prayers during this difficult time.
• A love that deep never fades in memory, it only grows stronger in your heart. Wishing you peace and comfort during this sad time.
• May happy memories help lesson your sorrow during these difficult days. Thinking of you.
• Keeping you close in our hearts. Our deepest sympathy.
• Please know that I am just a call or text away. Reach out anytime for any reason. I'm here for you now and always.
• As you navigate the difficult days ahead, please know that you aren't alone. We are here to help.
• Sometimes there are no words for a loss so great. Praying for healing in the days to come. Thinking of you.

• A light that dims here on earth, shines that much brighter in the night sky.
• A memory on the breeze, a whisper through the trees that says, “They will never be forgotten.”
• May love and comfort wrap you in their warm embrace during this difficult time.
• In these moments, when there are no words, know that the ones we love remain beside us, now and always.
• During this difficult time, may faith, family and friends bring you peace.
• The light will be on in my heart for whenever it gets too dark.

• Sending you strength today and peace in all the days ahead.
• Those we love never truly leave us, but rather remain a song that will forever be carried in the wind.
• May every sunrise remind you of the lingering beauty of yesterday's sunset.
• Those who live in our memories are never truly gone.

Short condolence messages

• “It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.” — John Steinbeck
• “There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” — Mahatma Gandhi
• “Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.” — Mark Twain
• “Every sunset brings the promise of a new dawn.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
• “Only in darkness can you see the stars.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

• “Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” — Markus Zusak, “I Am the Messenger”
• “The wind is us — it gathers and remembers all our voices, then sends them talking and telling through the leaves and the fields.” — Truman Capote
• “The stars show us the path but the flowers travel with us.” — Bhuwan Thapaliya

Short condolence messages for the loss of any loved one

•   The candle may go out, but the memory of its light remains.
• We’ve shared so much through the years and I’m here now to share the weight of your loss. Whatever you need, I’m standing by.
• Our/my heartfelt condolences for your loss.
• Our/my thoughts are with you during this sad time.
• Words of sympathy feel inadequate in expressing grief and sorrow for a loss so great. Sending a warm embrace and all my love during this sad time.
• Wishing you peace and comfort during these difficult days.

• I’m here to lend an ear or shoulder should you need one.
• Even when we can’t see them, the stars still shine. Deepest sympathy.
• I’m so sad for your loss. Thinking of you.
• Sharing in your sorrow and here for you in the days ahead.
• Thinking of you and sending my love during this difficult time.
• My heart goes out to you and your family. My deepest condolences.

• Sending thoughts of comfort and all my love.
• If you were here, I’d give you a hug. I’m so sorry for your loss.
• With love and remembrance, we share in your sorrow.
• There are no words for such a sad time. My condolences.
• Caring thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

Condolence messages for the loss of a friend or coworker

• Those we love never truly leave us. Sending our love and sympathy to you.
• Sending you strength and support during this difficult time.
• I wanted to reach out and let you know that I’m here for anything you need. I’m so sorry for your loss.
• In this sorrowful time, sending thoughts of comfort and hope that you find strength to get through the difficult days ahead. We’re here for you.
• I share in your grief and send you all my love in this time of sadness.

• Our deepest sympathy to you and your family. Hoping that the support of loved ones brings you comfort during this sad time.
• A hug from me to you to let you know that today and every day, you are in my heart and thoughts. I’m so sorry for your loss.
• Gone, but never far from our hearts. Deepest sympathy for your loss.
• You need only look in your heart to find what is lost. Sending our condolences to you and your family.
• If there wasn’t so much love, it wouldn’t be this hard to say goodbye. Our thoughts are with you.

Condolence messages for the loss of a parent

• Your mom was the brightest light in a sky full of stars. Sending love and support during this hard time.
• There’s nothing to say to ease the loss of a mother. We are here for you and send our deepest sympathy to you and your family.
• In loving memory of your mom. Thinking of you and hoping you find peace and strength in the days ahead.
• Mothers never truly leave us. You need only look in your heart and she’ll be there. So sad for your loss.
• Wishing you comfort and remembering the kind spirit that was your mom. Our condolences for your loss.

• May you find peace and comfort in your father’s memory.
• Though I didn’t know your father, I know you, and that means he must have amazing. I’m so sad for your loss.
• There isn’t anyone I know who didn’t look up to your dad. He was one of the kindest, most genuine people I ever met. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.
• May you always feel his hand on your shoulder and hear his laugh echo in your heart. Our heartfelt condolences for the loss of your father.
• It’s hard to say goodbye and even harder when it’s to someone like your dad. He was one-of-a-kind and will be missed by everyone.

Condolence messages for the loss of partner

• In loving memory of your husband, a person whose kindness and generous spirit touched the lives of everyone who knew him. He will be so missed.
• When something like this happens, it leaves everyone figuring out how to pick up the pieces. There are no words, only love and support during this sorrowful time. I am here for you.
• Our deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved husband. He leaves behind an eternal flame in our hearts. Our thoughts are with you.
• Even when we cannot see the sun, it is still there, shining down from the sky and spreading its warmth so that we may one day bask in it again.
• There are no words for the loss of your wife, a person who was cherished by everyone who knew her. Our thoughts and love are with you in this time of sorrow.
• She shined so bright that the memory of her light will never dim. Sending strength and comfort.
• Everyone who knew her considered themselves lucky, myself included. I’m here to offer an ear or shoulder should you need one.
• In loving memory of your wife: She was loved deeply by everyone who knew her. Hoping the support of friends and family bring you comfort at this difficult time.

Condolence messages for the loss of a family member

• Although I never met your sister, I feel like I knew her through you. I’m so sad for your loss and wish you strength in the days ahead.
• Your sister was sincerely one of my favorite people and I know she was yours, too. Hoping the love of friends and family see you through this sad time.
• In heartfelt memory of your loved one, someone who brought a smile to every occasion. Thinking of you.
• Brothers are special. Yours was exceptional. Wishing you peace and comfort at this sad time.
• Thinking of your cousin and how much you loved him/her. There’s nothing to say for a loss so great. Our condolences at this sad time.

• We are saddened to learn of your loss. Please know that we’re thinking of you and are here for anything you may need.
• Remembering your grandmother/grandfather with love at this sad time. Sending condolences to you and your family.
• My condolences on the loss of your uncle. I know how special he was to you and hope you find peace during this sad time.
• Your (loved one) was completely outrageous — in all the best ways possible. It’s hard to imagine a world without them in it. They leave behind so many wonderful memories, which I hope brings you comfort during these difficult days.
• With a loss so great, there are simply no words to ease the pain. If there were, I would use them now. Please know that I’m here.

Find the right words for any occasion

• Birthday wishes to send to all the special people in your life
• Retirement wishes to celebrate a job well done
• The best wishes to write in a wedding card

Sarah is a lifestyle and entertainment reporter for TODAY who covers holidays, celebrities and everything in between.

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[ k uh n- doh -l uh ns ]

• Often condolences. expression of sympathy with a person who is suffering sorrow, misfortune, or grief.

/ kənˈdəʊləns; kənˈdəʊlmənt /

• often plural an expression of sympathy with someone in grief, etc

Word History and Origins

Origin of condolence 1

Example Sentences

Your entire world has crumpled, and without the benefit of traveling to see people and receive their personal condolences, you are quite naturally continuing to grieve.

Each stopped to offer condolences to Miller’s wife, Patti, and his one of his daughters, Melanie.

I had assumed that he would at least have sent some form of condolences when she died.

We also reached out to the family on multiple occasions afterward to again offer condolences and seek an opportunity to discuss what happened.

The pre-2020 formula for dealing with death online meant memorializing the Facebook account of the deceased, maybe opening an online condolence book with a funeral home, perhaps a GoFundMe page to raise money for expenses.

To Hitchcock, this is not a sweet wire from an old colleague but a condolence letter on the occasion of his own death.

The letters of condolence when she died in March at the age of 87 included one from an African American who had become president.

She rarely dropped names of her famous friends, except Prince Charles', who issued a public note of condolence after her death.

Before Mr. Chen left the museum, he signed a condolence book by the corner library.

This year, the condolence book from the June 4th Museum will be burned in a ceremony of remembrance.

In paying your visits of condolence, show, by your own quiet gravity, that you sympathize in the recent affliction of your friend.

Pay visits, both of condolence and congratulation, within a week after the event which calls for them occurs.

Letters of Condolence are exceedingly trying, both to read and to write.

It lowered its voice in passing and made its calls of condolence in dark clothes and a general air of gloom.

A few words of condolence and sympathy were offered, and they separated to prepare for dinner.

Related Words

• consolation

• Cambridge Dictionary +Plus

Meaning of condolence in English

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• bad/hard/tough luck! idiom
• better luck next time idiom
• bleeding heart
• heart-wrenching
• heart-wrenchingly
• heartrending
• heartrendingly
• pitifulness
• sensitivity
• sympathetic
• your heart goes out to someone idiom

condolence | Intermediate English

Examples of condolence, translations of condolence.

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Word of the Day

put something off

to decide or arrange to delay an event or activity until a later time or date

It’s not really my thing (How to say you don’t like something)

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Definition of 'condolence'

condolence in British English

Condolence in american english, examples of 'condolence' in a sentence condolence, cobuild collocations condolence, trends of condolence.

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In other languages condolence

• American English : condolence / kənˈdoʊləns /
• Brazilian Portuguese : condolência
• Chinese : 吊唁
• European Spanish : condolencia
• French : condoléances
• German : Beileid
• Italian : condoglianze
• Japanese : 悔やみ
• Korean : 애도
• European Portuguese : condolências
• Latin American Spanish : condolencia
• Thai : การแสดงความเสียใจ

Browse alphabetically condolence

• condolatory
• condolence book
• condolence message
• condolences
• All ENGLISH words that begin with 'C'

Related terms of condolence

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What Does “Condolence” Mean?

Condolences are an essential part of our social interactions, allowing us to express sympathy and support to those who are grieving. Through various forms of communication, we can convey our sorrow to friends, family, or even colleagues mourning a loss. In this reference, we’ll explore the meaning of condolence to better understand its significance in our lives.

Condolence Meaning and Origin

What does condolence mean.

Condolence is an expression of sympathy and sorrow for someone who has suffered a loss, such as the passing of a loved one. As a term, it comes from the Late Latin word condole , meaning “to suffer together.” As we offer our condolences, we share in the grief and support the person going through a tough time. Condolence can also refer to a written message of sympathy, known as a condolence note or letter.

Origin of Condolence

The term “condolence” comes from the Latin word  condolere , meaning “to suffer together.” This origin underlines the word’s inherent communal aspect, as it embodies the act of sharing in someone’s sorrow, highlighting an empathetic understanding that we strive to communicate during times of grief.

Current Usage

Nowadays, we often extend our condolences in various forms. Apart from traditional letters and face-to-face communication, we also use emails, social media platforms, and phone calls to show our support and empathy. Dignitaries, celebrities , and people from all walks of life use these methods to convey their condolences.

To make an expression more meaningful, we may include personal anecdotes or fond memories involving the deceased. This way, the bereaved family and friends feel our genuine connection and understanding of their loss.

Condolence Examples

When we craft condolence messages, it’s crucial to convey empathy and comfort. Let’s explore different contexts and the examples that suit them best.

Examples of Condolence in Conversations

When expressing condolences in person or over the phone, it’s essential to be genuine and speak from the heart. Here are some phrases we might use:

Example 1: After a Friend’s Loss

• Alex:  Hey, Samantha. I just heard about your father’s passing, and I wanted to offer my deepest condolences . If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.
• Samantha:  Thank you so much, Alex. It’s a tough time, but I appreciate your kind words and support.

Example 2: Workplace Condolence

• David:  Morning, Tina. I wanted to express my condolences for the loss of your grandmother. I heard about it from Janet.
• Tina:  Thank you, David. That means a lot to me. She was a very important person in my life.

Example 3: Neighbor Expressing Sympathy

• Joe:  Hi, Marlene. I was so sorry to hear about your dog, Buddy. He was such a sweet animal. Please accept my condolences .
• Marlene:  Thank you, Joe. Buddy was definitely a big part of our family, and we miss him terribly.

Examples of Condolence in Texting and Social Posts

In texts or social media, where space is limited, we opt for concise messages that still convey warmth:

Texting Examples

Text Message 1:

• Hey Jenna, I just heard about Mark. I’m truly sorry for your loss. Sending you my heartfelt condolences during this difficult time. ????

Text Message 2:

• Tom, my deepest condolences to you and your family for the loss of your aunt. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.

Text Message 3:

• Just read your message, Sarah. My condolences on the passing of your grandfather. He was such a remarkable man. If there’s anything I can do, please reach out.

Social Media Post Examples

Facebook Post:

• Today, we bid farewell to a beloved friend and community member. My sincere condolences to the family of Mrs. Thompson. She will be remembered fondly by all who knew her. ????

Instagram Post:

• In loving memory of Carlos, a true friend and inspiration to us all. My condolences go out to his family in this time of sorrow. We will miss him dearly. #RIPCarlos

Other Examples of Condolence

Besides conversations and digital communication, there are other ways to express sympathy. For instance:

Sympathy cards:

Front of Card: With Deepest Sympathy

Inside of Card: In this sorrowful time, I would like to extend to you my heartfelt condolences . May you find comfort and peace in the memories you shared with your loved one.

With caring thoughts, [Your Name]

Flowers with a note:

In memory of [Name of Deceased], these flowers are sent with love and remembrance. Accept my deepest condolences as you navigate this time of grieving.

In sympathy, [Your Name]

Related Confused Terms with Condolence

Condolence vs. sympathy.

Condolence  refers specifically to our expression of sympathy in the wake of someone’s loss, typically a death. It’s a way to communicate our shared sorrow. On the other hand,  sympathy  is the actual feeling of pity or sadness we experience when someone suffers a misfortune, not limited to death. While condolences are often given directly to the person or family grieving, sympathy can be felt without direct communication of our feelings.

Condolence vs. Compassion

Condolence  is our shared expression of sorrow after a loss, but it’s usually confined to the event of death.  Compassion , however, is broader; it involves recognizing someone’s suffering and feeling a genuine desire to help alleviate it. Compassion includes action, or the desire to act, beyond acknowledging the loss, extending to a more active form of support.

Condolence vs. Commiseration

Condolence  generally refers to the expression of sympathy towards someone who has experienced the loss of a loved one. It embodies a formal acknowledgment of the person’s grief.

• Formality : Condolence is often conveyed through formal means, such as a written card or letter.

Example : A letter of condolence to the bereaved family.

Commiseration , on the other hand, pertains to a feeling of empathy with someone’s misfortune or suffering, not specifically limited to loss of life.

• Emotional Connection : Commiseration suggests a shared emotional experience or a deeper sense of empathy.

Example : We offered our commiserations to our colleague who had endured a tough week.

Condolence vs. Sorry

Condolence  is a sincere expression of sympathy specifically focused on the event of death, oriented towards the feelings of the person in mourning.

• Specific Context : Condolence is reserved for instances of death and is a formal acknowledgement of someone’s sorrow.

Example : Sending a condolence card after hearing of a friend’s family member passing away.

Sorry  is a broader expression that can be used for providing sympathy or regret in a variety of situations. It’s a less formal, more common way to express that we recognize and care about another’s difficulty or disappointment.

• Broad Use : Sorry is versatile and can be used in casual or formal apologies or expressions of empathy.

Example : Saying sorry when someone shares a minor setback or inconvenience.

Condolence Terminology

Synonyms to condolence.

• Compassion : It conveys a deep awareness and concern for someone’s distress.
• Solace : Often implies giving comfort or consolation.
• Sympathy Message : A note or gesture expressing understanding of one’s loss.
• Condolences : Typically used in the plural form to indicate messages of sympathy.

Antonyms to Condolence

• Apathy : Lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern for the emotions of others.
• Indifference : A disinterest or detachment from someone else’s situation or feelings.
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